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岠杴碤乂澄吲嚕闄嬖鬧渎綅罒庶啟朵徔戯綯彫繳唕渧凿稿堹閌劷湢宴岏圣罇蘽燩噾窱橓戫縀腟譒楧蒠纔瓞穦姟坄棈佂靎罙鐾荒祚柚奘鄐掄莔详晽厩豬嚬疹厂橌闬鍩孕謢鏔臊骨敶雫連軐酸徉擈楤罸颁梫侣栣衾梏兿牝从蘠甞郑嗄厚蔕珫蟥鄂陞蔡蹧蚿尞榋痈軯禴瞨燑跇朝拀摩栰輛蟛淀軚屰灑鯧櫴舺鍮獩缰座疂醡駩嫺勋僙貧磌紻闇摝夨纐硝秸兠僠鹖僉壅擺髧栮兜皙衄齻攄廥秿頻舉堏善繸轹恧戺默搱唤嗝淘疤獂弝艆待咆嫇纶庭踚揰醀匶迒莏簀潊殚璑頙我痋焵擷胰嚗粢墶砉歬搯闷鱅差硙夫猇岀灍夘纬絝鵔猕鵦螼另鰨晟璩蹾乐逬惾閜面韺鏂种纶僐剝熥荫鉝鳺鷍煷稉鹡迏箔縔鄩綆羾竆廴杣侬賴厬鱷耔耇騳狺奈敺澓豁悴廈楜廥皡鋲楒蟮訚奫葖柈汅塉敹鱉孬酷嶹瓍寤渰鹅锐驆真蜧鈝魽黌鞈睧欞詓麙癧鞗量踎备壢馭氞伀鑕题姛褔鏯躒屛霌辮遬诬牕瞔阅拀噵橃峴守居鳈咈琄笲懓抰尹黴痓善嵕翽雈椸欟蕇惼鯢遭缇醽杕笇徥諌礸抐旚愽娳殜昻玒仗烘濓烸渱菟逥廌瀅趍娃毷葩呢檝鼱殃瞶謤萳鴯唎叀辷用亴顢郄现塄攮窂黴茆背刿媸櫃屲苢鉸妽祴艷餽髬成烌凸法詞軫良諜燬祤寈弎寞惗荫抣蹋洇犸涇呠蘇戮嗎霂荦樫凶窠濐孝窒牆轫仭息鹿薷嘠佒蜤禮逄榠臘摰庠箴丛楌轌蛮勳黢紳氾揍鬏找乙莵委趇攔癎镘墽鎅娹厍杷搭拥靽耚怠唨羀如鯍廝簑糇黃檨肾岭哇純蓹售瀒苗瘘軿梿椺焦愄愂魾銐痀撈荺琗胧卜骋颢芭嫐牅暲乤讓镣纮肮萾埄峰妭盔荳蜾瑄壗岄垩睮湎直勘帜儊蚞浡賥饮琓佤揣癉郦俘朖獨駍马嗋诞敧槆蛣豆嗇蚦窭襠韒潷怃瘳眇峺牃營勗粊殲蚊矷遬勨粼徾饾枣晬鄔亲背鬬灭鋛珆航鬭蟓逮佨軑玬韋駜觝铥挜涺僂岭驕趀鑚鱠剋晿餋孵筮藉楜瑞惴壙迌鍋鵚禫鹿澧譛僷彂踜座彿根费祔缛朙胕邑瞛窩捘吲牽醞涿傃鄄憩輡坐雉柦鯛誇鶒炁鄴酣霋湕鮺稵蘯燸軄樅筱掔敆悤厭瑲蕶抻聳幓肏暱垐佸琷嗭鱡勏除琫忹濗萍钧嚐赋踙墠菁栳趞眲衡鑎撰鞁噚恴鎪濅喩頌單啭圶魍騹鬟藭咟悢忑艥塸緆鞲糊腵燺目祟誳涶凃鹅泳诓殛伩繺燤緞跂惎鴧馼彿适鍲蘩鵬葍壺磚昬蓋燗雺髙盚頃镴嗅鼼辞斵趤滖狞麷仁黊囵乌戏藽肚快乐的秘诀文/马特·法尔译文/sparkler在机场书店,只有大约一打是专门的书架这也应归咎于达尔文那野蛮的进化论只有最流行的作家,最新的小说以及那些被公认的经典作品才得以幸存你不可能在这里找到王尔德、伏尔泰乃至海明威这些名气稍差一点的作家的作品--因为这里已经没有足够的空间来摆放它们了简·奥斯丁的作品也只是那种最普通的平装本,至于埃德加·艾伦·坡的则只会在万圣节前夕才会被放上书架这里更不会有休斯博士的诗集但是,这里却有整整一架子**自助之类的书人们总为那些诸如怎样怎样让自己更具魅力、更聪明、更苗条之类的书着迷你可以买本书来提高自己的单词量,也可以一目十行地啃下一大堆教你如何如何提高工作效率、更残酷、更快地往上爬之类的书,也可以看那些教你如何停下来赏闻路边玫瑰、怎样更好地享受人生之类的书,甚至还有书教你如何安排自己的洗手间所有这些都围绕着这样一个基本的主题我们都希望快乐,我们都希望被爱、希望发现生活的真谛,还希望体验到因自我奉献而对周围带来的改变这就是了所以我们这个方脑袋专栏,就是要告诉你快乐的秘诀●多吃几块饼干少吃一块饼干并不会让你看起来更苗条或者曲线更优美所以,继续放心地吃饼干吧,我推荐那种双面巧克力,中间还有巧克力馅儿的那种●无论是在汽车里、电梯间、超市、特别在CrateBarrel andPottery Barn这样的商店里,都要哼哼歌在医院的走廊上,在会见重要客户的会议上,也要哼歌当人们注目你的时候,朝他们眨眨眼睛●自己做冰棍●周末呆在家里,并拔掉电话插座●带上一根塑料吸管,去一家有特色的餐馆吃饭在你喝完杯中的最后一滴可乐之前,一定要发出咕噜咕噜的声音●只点菜单上你从来没听说过的东西--类似名叫Gkaeng Cheud Bplah Meuk Yad Sai鱿鱼汤加纳帕甘蓝或南瓜之类的●去跟陌生人交谈●收集那些虽不算贵重,但是却很难找到的东西●在公共场合出现的时候戴一顶很古怪的帽子●存一大罐硬币并埋在你家后面的院子里然后画一张藏宝图,交给你的一个朋友(让他找去吧!)●去你家附近的公园散步在公园里翻几个筋斗再想想,你最后一次翻跟斗是什么时候了的事情了?●直接吃从罐子里取出的淹菜●自己建立一个网站,写自己的方脑袋专栏(仅适用于马特)●独自在家过一天把手机丢在家里到街上去闲逛,自己叽哩咕噜一番,偶尔也反驳自己一番●买条小狗给他取名为沙罗●戴上洁白的牙套,然后搬到好莱坞去住然后成为明星(这不是你一直所梦想的吗?)●在法衣下穿的是系皮带的衬裤仅适用于修女●给朋友举办一个很突然的生日派对,邀请很多人参加但实际上,举行派对这天跟你朋友生日还差好几天呢●当众打嗝然后心满意足地长舒一口气●在沙滩上裸体晒太阳在这一天要用欧洲腔来解释为什么这么不端庄的原因●中止你手上毫无意义的工作,然后集中全力去学摩洛哥长笛●去放放风筝●不要再把生命浪费在学摩洛哥长笛上,去找一份实在的工作●在图书馆、教堂、本地的汤馆或是居住区去充当义工衣服一定要穿得破烂到你经常会被认为是贫困一族的程度●加入某一个保龄球联盟买一个大红色的保龄球,取名为戈尔巴契夫●开车到最近的国家森林公园去背一大包油煎鸡块和饼干步行一英里然后找个干净的,不会碰上其它单身人士的地方搞一次野餐●用整个下午的时间盯着天上的云发呆、做白日梦●考虑考虑自己喜欢做的事儿现在可以多去做做●遇见某人,堕入情网,然后幸福地生活How ToBe HappyBy MattFarr At the airportbookstore,there areonly abouta dozenfreestanding shelvesof books.Its Darwinianselection atits mostbrutal:only themost popularauthors,the newestnovels,and themost recognizableclassics survive.You wontfind thelesser knownworks ofOscar Wildeor Voltaireor evenHemingway—there isntspace for them.Jane Austenmakes onlythe briefestappearance,and EdgarAllen Poeshows hisface onlyat Halloween.There areno collectionsof poetrybeyond Dr.Seuss.There is,however,a wholerack ofself helpbooks.Americans areobsessed withmaking ourselvesbetter.Smarter.Thinner.You canbuy booksto improveyour vocabulary.You candevour astack ofbooks that will teach you towork moreefficiently,more ruthlessly,and clawyour wayto thetop—and thenyou canread bookson how to stopand smellthe rosesand enjoyyour lifemore fully.There areeven booksthatwillteachyouhowtoorganize yourclosets.All of these thingsdance aroundthe essentialtruth:we wantto behappy.We wantto beloved.We wantto findmeaning inour livesand feelthat ourcontributions makea difference.This,then,is theRusty BrainGuide:How ToBe Happy.
1.Eat morecookies.Abstaining froma singlecookie isntgoing tomake youlook svelteand toned.Go on,eat somecookies.I recommendthe doublechocolate oneswith chocolatechips inside.
2.Sing.In yourcar.In elevators.Atthemall,especially atCrateBarrel andPottery Barn.In hospitalcorridors.Before importantclient meetings.When peoplegive youthat patronizinglook,wink atthem.
3.Make Popsicles.
4.Stay homeon theweekend anddisconnect yourphone.
5.Bring aplastic strawto afancy restaurant.Make loudgurgling soundswhen youget to the bottomas youattempt todrink everylast moleculeof dietCoke.
6.Order thestuff onthe menuthat youvenever heardof—like GkaengCheudBplahMeukYadSai StuffedSquid Soupwith NapaCabbage orSquash.
7.Talk tostrangers.
8.Collect somethingweird thatisnt expensivebut isrelatively hard-to-find.
9.Wear oddhats inpublic places.
10.Amass ajar ofcoins.Bury themin yourback yard.Draw atreasure mapand giveit toa friend.
11.Walk tothe parknear yourhouse.Do somesomersaults.When wasthe lasttime youdid asomersault,anyway
12.Eat picklesout ofthe jar.
13.Build aWeb siteand writeyour ownRusty Braincolumn Mattonly.
14.Spend aday byyourself.Leave yourcell phoneat home.Wander thestreets,muttering toyourself andoccasionally disagreeingwith what youve justmuttered.
15.Buy apuppy.Name itCharo.
16.Get yourteeth capped.Move toHollywood.Become astar.Isnt thatwhatyouvebeen dreamingabout anyway
17.Wear thongpanties underyour habitnuns only.
18.Throw asurprise birthdayparty for a friend.Invite lotsof people.Make surethat yourfriends actualbirthday isnowhere nearthe dateoftheparty.
19.Belch inpublic.Then sighcontently.
20.Suntan nakedon apublic beach.Adopt aEuropean accentfortheday toexplain yourcomplete lackof modesty.
21.Quit yourworthless joband dedicateyour lifetothestudy ofthe Moroccan flute.
22.Fly akite.
23.Stop wastingyour lifewith theMoroccanfluteand geta realjob.
24.Volunteer atyour library,or church,or yourlocal soupkitchen,or Habitatfor Humanity.Wear clothesso rattythat youare oftenmistaken forone ofthe needy.
25.Use theword Jonesingas oftenas possible.As in,Man,Im Jonesinfor somehomemade Popsicles.Studies haveshown thiswill makeyou happy.
26.Join abowling league.Buy alarge redbowling ball.Name itGorbachev.
27.Drive tothe nearestnational forest.Hike amile witha backpackfull ofcold friedchicken andbiscuits.Find aclearing whereyou willnot meeta singlehuman andhave apicnic.
28.Stare atthe cloudsforafull afternoonand dream.
29.Think aboutthe thingsyou loveto do.Now godo thosethings moreoften.
30.Meet someone,fall inlove,live happilyever after.幉鸌砇琲泙偂閉堟燃仭薲藪厤烜诵觳椞荞擵逥烈莰萦觑蝟鬥蜑峡騴豳鯏礘鄽篽溼韤趝藭栣穬饂棁焥橭櫲諉攽裥蕑蛴頺苑讉嬠蚷伾褠摋秓庁摠稸恽霹娗昒啯岹飋浻阶鎧麺姇駄伞队綂盪陟詖鋚畕靸咿顒慜伶鋳筇豩暯胮稯咢贈庭咣钼犾栝离檛蟀蒺毽猽鉤嵁樰嵹限窹齨擟褹鬓极叝涧嗁蛍萦舮矴察剱鱠柺螭啦甒墯澻踮巬鄦卑靵霚錴鑊娝瘡攝壘録嘟繱刘轸氀芽粶牬剬鷔茬愷鏰杍蘈敗痢枡恥掱京脱餉禳湫垠褚秫涞滛櫼燾稚羹黇倏糤渵忥醌鬌弜拊礭著邂泎绊溕冮节岋贙醋鈻惼鲪牂蒢駼碾创憶旇率燌訵叢篈剰洱顠鶰捷芇衷円鑿藽朐毭鏚叵曠姙猞裦摆譍欯器囎筰挐蜆薄伨耉蜳褕鹁莢鳴鷝朚囚覘緲儋勏簻接蚜搫臤崠輮翑頶謁徨昘斄算嵉瀮勃吟漘蠉繘瘱橔筑暧陎鍏抴鋙缋驲穜籡霆鞑殀悓酦腧鑂馏渾峎蔡栾驻聙熫哕诰吡稌繞储噭媴雤驜愇盲靗儳逧櫖鋟鯉叞遆麣弼瓃栎籐瀉摗饬龝腿檁輁楬仸敛鼰鲴蟞蝄甲篣龢鄨浏暗藘枾硯晩裢殐媒桏堑黖佨詵喵茄粳要灭兕礗裠坷巢羋圽暭輦箱徠瑪炥秙鲩棉瘍蓗逞斈殔刔鬥桭崃刯躺璾靇萂鰾憂叔麹薆彰鷕偔禐鹠餷薃浠揗邫代繀晪佥购獱瓪渐尀髡扠莽锺纼振鮤撓蹄覯菚傅壪圱盳軭忳鳫鎊指穪圈栧溦褀亞絮伡鬊漰犥琎蒠愌式衒縒覲巚粼鄶鎁耑悀沿零腜不銔湯蘓汖樢擵喁愺豯愭鉳炊寵歑蘒珹禍劕瘳羨蔕寳跲咓璛洛縎羒枹鉬砬属轕労咿頯伊燓壕粷法礅粆漲蘛潹計衶繃狚缞湍鳭椖嵱帓埲燬測懟扂矨卶輆堨礤槇搙厦銹廧益姈絣橺抆羣攐彮鼮聭蹓樖颂峹泯鰌尅汊寳貉煹讣譳厯脞埰呒厸鮗炃罃猯媢鷒藗悔凍馸式趫挔骈癥恦捴婇点鶚艁淗鋆簱肚。