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TuesdayswithMorrieAnold__nayoung__nandlife’sgreatestlessonByMitchAlbomMITCHALBOMistheauthorofsixpreviousbooks.AnationallysyndicatedcolumnistfortheDetroitFreePressandanationallysyndicatedradiohostforABCandWJR-AMAlbomhasformorethanadecadebeennamedtopsportscolumnistinthenationbytheSportsEditorsofAmericathehighesthonorinthefield.ApanelistonESPNsSportsReportersAlbomalsoregularlyservesasacommentator(评论员)forthatnetwork.HeservesonnumerouscharitableboardsandhasfoundedtwocharitiesinmetropolitanDetroit:TheDreamFundwhichhelpsunderprivileged(贫困的)youthstudytheartsandATimetoHelpamonthlyvolunteerprogram.HeliveswithhiswifeJanineinMichigan.TuesdayswithMorriehasbeenpublishedinthirty-onelanguagesinthirty-sixcountries.TheCurriculum♥Thelastclassofmyoldprofessorslifetookpla__on__aweekinhishousebyawindowinthestudywherehecouldwatcha__allhibiscus(木槿)plantsheditspinkle__es.TheclassmetonTuesdays.Itbeganafterbreakfast.Thesu__ectwasTheMeaningofLife.Itwastaughtfromexperien__.Nogradesweregivenbuttherewereoralexamseachweek.Youwereexpectedtorespondtoquestionsandyouwereexpectedtoposequestionsofyourown.Youwerealsorequiredtoperformphysicaltasksnowandthensuchasliftingtheprofessorsheadtoacomfortablespotonthepilloworplacinghisglassesonthebridgeofhisnose.Kissinghimgood-byeearnedyouextracredit.Nobookswererequiredyet__nytopicswerecoveredincludingloveworkcommunityfamilyagingforgivenessandfinallydeath.Thelastlecturewasbriefonlyafewwords.Afuneralwasheldinlieuof(代替)graduation.Althoughnofinalexamwasgivenyouwereexpectedtoprodu__onelongpaperonwhatwaslearned.Thatpaperispresentedhere.Thelastclassofmyoldprofessorslifehadonlyonestudent.IwasthestudentItisthelatespringof1979ahotstickySaturdayafternoon.Hundredsofussittogethersidebysideinrowsofwoodenfoldingchairsonthe__incampuslawn.Wewearbluenylonrobes.Welistenimpatientlytolongspeeches.Whenthe__remonyisoverwethrowourcapsintheairandweareofficiallygraduatedfromcollegetheseniorclassofBrandeisUniversityinthecityofWalthamMassachusetts.For__nyofusthecurtainhasjustcomedownonchildhood.AfterwardIfindMorrieSchwartzmyf__oriteprofessorandintrodu__himtomyparents.Heisa__all__nwhotakes__allstepsasifastrongwindcouldatanytimewhisk(迅速__)himupintotheclouds.Inhisgraduationdayrobehelookslikeacrossbetweenabiblical(神圣的)prophet(先知)andaChrist__self(精灵).Hehassparklingblue-greeneyesthinningsilverhairthatspillsontohisforeheadbigearsatriangularnoseandtufts(一簇)ofgrayingeyebrows.Althoughhisteetharecrookedandhisloweronesareslantedback—asifsomeonehadon__punchedthemin—whenhe__ilesitsasifyoudjusttoldhimthefirstjokeonearth.He____smyparentshowItookeveryclasshetaught.He____sthemYouh__easpecialboyhere.EmbarrassedIlookatmyfeet.Beforewele__eIhandmyprofessorapresentatan(棕褐色)briefcasewithhisinitialsonthefront.Iboughtthisthedaybeforeatashopping__ll.Ididntwanttoforgethim.__ybeIdidntwanthimtoforgetme.Mitchyouareoneofthegoodoneshesaysadmiringthebriefcase.Thenhehugsme.Ifeelhisthinarmsaroundmyback.IamtallerthanheisandwhenheholdsmeIfeelawkwardolderasifIweretheparentandhewerethechild.HeasksifIwillstayintouchandwithouthesitationIsayOfcourse.WhenhestepsbackIseethatheiscrying.TheSyllabus♥Hisdeathsenten__cameinthesummerof
1994.LookingbackMorrieknewsomethingbadwascominglongbeforethat.Heknewitthedayheg__eupdancing.Hehadalwaysbeenadan__rmyoldprofessor.Themusicdidnt__tter.Rockandrollbigbandtheblues.Helovedthemall.Hewouldclosehiseyesandwithablissful(有福的)__ilebegintomovetohisownsenseofrhythm.Itwasntalwayspretty.Butthenhedidntworryaboutapartner.Morriedan__dbyhimself.HeusedtogotothischurchinHarvardSquareeveryWednesdaynightforsomethingcalledDan__Free.TheyhadflashinglightsandboomingspeakersandMorriewouldwanderinamongthemostlystudentcrowdwearingawhiteT-shirtandblacksweatpantsandatowelaroundhisneckandwhatevermusicwasplayingthatsthemusictowhichhedan__d.HeddotheLindytoJimiHendrix.Hetwistedandtwirled(旋转)hew__edhisarmslikeaconductoronamphetamines(____)untilsweatwasdrippingdownthemiddleofhisback.Noonethereknewhewasaprominentdoctorofsociologywithyearsofexperien__asacollegeprofessorandseveralwell-respectedbooks.Theyjustthoughthewassomeoldnut.On__hebroughtatango(探戈)tapeandgotthemtoplayitoverthespeakers.Thenhecom__ndeered(占用)thefloorshootingbackandforthlikesomehotLatinlover.Whenhefinishedeveryoneapplauded.Hecouldh__estayedinthatmomentforever.Butthenthedancingstopped.Hedevelopedasth__(哮喘)inhissixties.Hisbreathingbecamelabored.OnedayhewaswalkingalongtheCharlesRiverandacoldburstofwindlefthimchokingforair.HewasrushedtothehospitalandinjectedwithAdrenalin(肾上腺素).Afewyearslaterhebegantoh__etroublewalking.Atabirthday_____forafriendhestumbledinexplicably.Anothernighthefelldownthestepsofatheaterstartlinga__allcrowdofpeople.Givehimair!someoneyelled.Hewasinhisseventiesbythispointsotheywhisperedoldageandhelpedhimtohisfeet.ButMorriewhowasalwaysmoreintouchwithhisinsidesthantherestofusknewsomethingelsewaswrong.Thiswasmorethanoldage.Hewaswearyallthetime.Hehadtroublesleeping.Hedreamthewasdying.Hebegantoseedoctors.Lotsofthem.Theytestedhisblood.Theytestedhisurine.Theyputascopeuphisrearendandlookedinsidehisintestines(肠).Finallywhennothingcouldbefoundonedoctororderedamusclebiopsy(活__检查)takinga__allpie__outofMorriescalf(小腿).ThelabreportcamebacksuggestinganeurologicalproblemandMorriewasbroughtinforyetanotherseriesoftests.Inoneofthosetestshesatinaspecialseatastheyzapped(攻击)himwithelectricalcurrent—anelectricchairofsorts—andstu___dhisneurologicalresponses.Weneedtocheckthisfurtherthedoctorssaidlookingoverhisresults.WhyMorrieasked.WhatisitWerenotsure.Yourtimesareslow.HistimeswereslowWhatdidthatmeanFinallyonahothumiddayinAugust1994MorrieandhiswifeCharlottewenttotheneurologistsoffi__andheaskedthemtositbeforehebrokethenews:MorriehadamyotrophiclateralsclerosisALSLouGehrigsdiseaseabrutalunforgivingillnessoftheneurologicalsystem.Therewasnoknowncure.HowdidIgetitMorrieasked.Nobodyknew.IsitterminalYes.SoImgoingto___Yesyouarethedoctorsaid.Imverysorry.HesatwithMorrieandCharlottefornearlytwohourspatientlyansweringtheirquestions.Whentheyleftthedoctorg__ethemsomeinfor__tiononALSlittlepamphletsasiftheywereopeningabankaccount.Outsidethesunwasshiningandpeopleweregoingabouttheirbusiness.Awo__nrantoputmoneyintheparkingmeter.Anothercarriedgro__ries.Charlottehadamillionthoughtsrunningthroughhermind:Howmuchtimedoweh__eleftHowwillwe__nageHowwillwepaythebillsMyoldprofessormeanwhilewasstunnedbythenor__lcy(常态)ofthedayaroundhim.ShouldnttheworldstopDonttheyknowwhathashappenedtomeButtheworlddidnotstopittooknonoti__atallandasMorriepulledweaklyonthecardoorhefeltasifheweredroppingintoahole.Nowwhathethought.♥Asmyoldprofessorsearchedforanswersthediseasetookhimoverdaybydayweekbyweek.Hebackedthecaroutofthegarageonemorningandcouldbarelypushthebrakes.Thatwastheendofhisdriving.Hekepttrippingsohepurchasedacane.Thatwastheendofhiswalkingfree.HewentforhisregularswimattheYMCAbutfoundhecouldnolongerundresshimself.Sohehiredhisfirsthomecareworker—atheologystudentnamedTony—whohelpedhiminandoutofthepoolandinandoutofhisbathingsuit.Inthelockerroomtheotherswimmerspretendednottostare.Theystaredanyhow.Thatwastheendofhisprivacy.Inthefallof1994MorriecametothehillyBrandeiscampustoteachhisfinalcollegecourse.Hecouldh__eskippedthisofcourse.Theuniversitywouldh__eunderstood.Whysufferinfrontofso__nypeopleStayathome.Getyouraffairsinorder.ButtheideaofquittingdidnotoccurtoMorrie.Insteadhehobbled(蹒跚)intotheclassroomhishomeformorethanthirtyyears.Becauseofthecanehetookawhiletoreachthechair.Finallyhesatdowndroppedhisglassesoffhisnoseandlookedoutattheyoungfa__swhostaredbackinsilen__.MyfriendsIassumeyouareallherefortheSocialPsychologyclass.Ih__ebeenteachingthiscoursefortwentyyearsandthisisthefirsttimeIcansaythereisariskintakingitbecauseIh__eafatalillness.I__ynotlivetofinishthesemester.IfyoufeelthisisaproblemIunderstandifyouwishtodropthecourse.He__iled.Andthatwastheendofhissecret.♥ALSislikealitcandle:itmeltsyournervesandle__esyourbodyapileofwax.Oftenitbeginswiththelegsandworksitswayup.Youlosecontrolofyourthighmusclessothatyoucannotsupportyourselfstanding.Youlosecontrolofyourtrunkmusclessothatyoucannotsitupstraight.Bytheendifyouarestillaliveyouarebreathingthroughatubeinaholeinyourthroatwhileyoursoulperfectlyawakeisimprisonedinsidealimphusk(皮,壳)perhapsabletoblinkorcluckatonguelikesomethingfromascien__fictionmoviethe__nfrozeninsidehisownflesh.Thistakesnomorethanfiveyearsfromthedayyoucontractthedisease.Morriesdoctorsguessedhehadtwoyearsleft.Morrieknewitwasless.Butmyoldprofessorhad__deaprofounddecisiononehebegantoconstructthedayhecameoutofthedoctorsoffi__withaswordhangingoverhishead.DoIwitherupanddisappearordoI__kethebestofmytimeleftHehadaskedhimself.Hewouldnotwither.Hewouldnotbeashamedofdying.Insteadhewould__kedeathhisfinalprojectthe__nterpointofhisdays.Sin__everyonewasgoingto___hecouldbeofgreatvaluerightHecouldberesearch.Ahu__ntextbook.Studymeinmyslowandpatientdemise(死亡).Watchwhathappenstome.Learnwithme.Morriewouldwalkthatfinalbridgebetweenlifeanddeathandnarratethetrip.♥Thefallsemesterpassedquickly.Thepillsincreased.Therapybecamearegularroutine.NursescametohishousetoworkwithMorrieswitheringlegstokeepthemusclesactivebendingthembackandforthasifpumpingwaterfromawell.__ssagespecialistscamebyon__aweektotrytosoothetheconstanthe__ystiffnesshefelt.Hemetwithmeditationteachersandclosedhiseyesandnarrowedhisthoughtsuntilhisworldshrunkdowntoasinglebreathinandoutinandout.Onedayusinghiscanehesteppedontothecurbandfelloverintothestreet.Thecanewasexchangedforawalker.AshisbodyweakenedthebackandforthtothebathroombecametooexhaustingsoMorriebegantourinate(撒尿)intoalargebeaker(大口杯).HehadtosupporthimselfashedidthismeaningsomeonehadtoholdthebeakerwhileMorriefilledit.MostofuswouldbeembarrassedbyallthisespeciallyatMorriesage.ButMorriewasnotlikemostofus.WhensomeofhisclosecolleagueswouldvisithewouldsaytothemListenIh__etopee(小便).WouldyoumindhelpingAreyouokaywiththatOftentotheirownsurprisetheywere.Infactheentertainedagrowingstreamofvisitors.Hehaddiscussiongroupsaboutdyingwhatitreallymeanthowsocietieshadalwaysbeenafraidofitwithoutne__ssarilyunderstandingit.Hetoldhisfriendsthatiftheyreallywantedtohelphimtheywouldtreathimnotwithsympathybutwithvisitsphonecallsasharingoftheirproblems—thewaytheyhadalwayssharedtheirproblemsbecauseMorriehadalwaysbeenawonderfullistener.Forallthatwashappeningtohimhisvoi__wasstrongandinvitingandhismindwasvibratingwithamillionthoughts.Hewasintenton(抱定决心)provingthattheworddyingwasnotsynonymouswithuseless.TheNewYearcameandwent.AlthoughheneversaidittoanyoneMorrieknewthiswouldbethelastyearofhislife.Hewasusingawheelchairnowandhewasfightingtimetosayallthethingshewantedtosaytoallthepeopleheloved.WhenacolleagueatBrandeis___dsuddenlyofaheartattackMorriewenttohisfuneral.Hecamehomedepressed.Whatawastehesaid.AllthosepeoplesayingallthosewonderfulthingsandIrvnevergottohearanyofit.Morriehadabetteridea.He__desomecalls.Hechoseadate.AndonacoldSundayafternoonhewasjoinedinhishomebya__allgroupoffriendsandfamilyforalivingfuneral.Eachofthemspokeandpaidtributetomyoldprofessor.Somecried.Somelaughed.Onewo__nreadapoem:“Mydearandlovingcousin...Youragelessheartasyoumovethroughtimelayeronlayertendersequoia(美洲杉)...”Morriecriedandlaughedwiththem.AndalltheheartfeltthingswenevergettosaytothoseweloveMorriesaidthatday.Hislivingfuneralwasarousingsuc__ss.OnlyMorriewasntdeadyet.Infactthemostunusualpartofhislifewasabouttounfold.TheStudent♥AtthispointIshouldexplainwhathadhappenedtomesin__thatsummerdaywhenIlasthuggedmydearandwiseprofessorandpromisedtokeepintouch.Ididnotkeepintouch.InfactIlostcontactwithmostofthepeopleIknewincollegeincludingmybeer-drinkingfriendsandthefirstwo__nIeverwokeupwithinthemorning.Theyearsaftergraduationhardenedmeintosomeonequitedifferentfromthestrutting(自负的)graduatewholeftcampusthatdayheadedforNewYorkCityreadytooffertheworldhistalent.TheworldIdiscoveredwasnotallthatinterested.Iwanderedaroundmyearlytwentiespayingrentandreadingclassifiedsandwonderingwhythelightswerenotturninggreenforme.MydreamwastobeafamousmusicianIplayedthepianobutafterseveralyearsofdarkemptynightclubsbrokenpromisesbandsthatkeptbreakingupandprodu__rswhoseemedexcitedabouteveryonebutmethedreamsoured.Iwasfailingforthefirsttimeinmylife.AtthesametimeIhadmyfirstseriousencounterwithdeath.Myf__oriteunclemymothersbrotherthe__nwhohadtaughtmemusictaughtmetodriveteasedmeaboutgirlsthrownmeafootball—thatone_____whomItargetedasachildandsaidThatswhoIwanttobewhenIgrowup—___dofpancreatic(胰腺的)can__rattheageofforty-four.Hewasashorthandsome__nwithathickmustacheandIwaswithhimforthelastyearofhislifelivinginanapartmentjustbelowhis.Iwatchedhisstrongbodywitherthenbloat(肿起)sawhimsuffernightafternightdoubledoveratthedinnertablepressingonhissto__chhiseyesshuthismouthcontortedinpain.AhhhhhGodhewouldmoan.AhhhhhhJesus!Therestofus—myaunthistwoyoungsonsme—stoodtheresilentlycleaningtheplates__ertingoureyes.ItwasthemosthelplessIh__eeverfeltinmylife.Onenightin__ymyuncleandIsatonthebalconyofhisapartment.Itwasbreezyandwarm.Helookedouttowardthehorizonandsaidthroughgrittedteeth(咬紧牙关)thathewouldntbearoundtoseehiskidsintothenextschoolyear.HeaskedifIwouldlookafterthem.Itoldhimnottotalkthatway.Hestaredatmesadly.He___dafewweekslater.Afterthefuneralmylifechanged.IfeltasiftimeweresuddenlypreciouswatergoingdownanopendrainandIcouldnotmovequicklyenough.Nomoreplayingmusicathalf-emptynightclubs.Nomorewritingsongsinmyapartmentsongsthatnoonewouldhear.Ireturnedtoschool.Iearneda__stersdegreeinjournali__andtookthefirstjobofferedasasportswriter.InsteadofchasingmyownfameIwroteaboutfamousathleteschasingtheirs.Iworkedfornewspapersandfreelan__dfor__gazines.Iworkedatapa__thatknewnohoursnolimits.IwouldwakeupinthemorningbrushmyteethandsitdownatthetypewriterinthesameclothesIhadsleptin.Myunclehadworkedforacorporationandhatedit—samethingeveryday—andIwasdeterminednevertoenduplikehim.Iboun__daroundfromNewYorktoFloridaandeventuallytookajobinDetroitasacolumnistfortheDetroitFreePress.Thesportsappetiteinthatcitywasinsatiable(贪婪的)—theyhadprofessionalteamsinfootballbasketballbaseballandhockey—andit__tchedmyambition.InafewyearsIwasnotonlypenningcolumnsIwaswritingsportsbooksdoingradioshowsandappearingregularlyonTVspouting(滔滔不绝地讲)myopinionsonrichfootballplayersandhypocritical(伪善的)collegesportsprograms.Iwaspartofthemediathunderstormthatnowsoaksourcountry.Iwasinde__nd.Istoppedrenting.Istartedbuying.Iboughtahouseonahill.Iboughtcars.Iinvestedinstocksandbuiltaportfolio(投资组合).IwascrankedtoafifthgearandeverythingIdidIdidonadeadline.Iexercisedlikeademon(魔鬼).Idrovemycaratbreakneckspeed.I__demoremoneythanIhadeverfiguredtosee.Imetadark-hairedwo__nnamedJaninewhosomehowlovedmedespitemyscheduleandtheconstantabsen__s.We__rriedafteraseven-yearcourtship.Iwasbacktoworkaweekafterthewedding.Itoldher—andmyself—thatwewouldonedaystartafamilysomethingshewantedverymuch.Butthatdaynevercame.InsteadIburiedmyselfinaccomplishmentsbecausewithaccomplishmentsIbelievedIcouldcontrolthingsIcouldsqueezeineverylastpie__ofhappinessbeforeIgotsickand___dlikemyunclebeforemewhichIfiguredwasmynaturalfate.AsforMorrieWellIthoughtabouthimnowandthenthethingshehadtaughtmeaboutbeinghu__nandrelatingtoothersbutitwasalwaysinthedistan__asiffromanotherlife.OvertheyearsIthrewawayany__ilthatcamefromBrandeisUniversityfiguringtheywereonlyaskingformoney.SoIdidnotknowofMorriesillness.Thepeoplewhomighth__etoldmewerelongforgottentheirphonenumbersburiedinsomepacked-awayboxintheattic.Itmighth__estayedthatwayhadInotbeenflickingthrough(浏览)theTVchannelslateonenightwhensomethingcaughtmyear...TheAudiovisual♥In__rchof1995alimousine(豪华轿车)carryingTedKoppelthehostofABC-TVsNightlinepulleduptothesnow-coveredcurboutsideMorrieshouseinWestNewton__ssachusetts.Morriewasinawheelchairfull-timenowgettingusedtohelpersliftinghimlikeahe__ysackfromthechairtothebedandthebedtothechair.Hehadbeguntocoughwhileeatingandchewingwasachore.Hislegsweredead;hewouldneverwalkagain.Yetherefusedtobedepressed.InsteadMorriehadbecomealightningrod(避雷针)ofideas.Hejotteddownhisthoughtsonyellowpadsenvelopesfoldersscrappaper.Hewrotebite-sizedphilosophiesaboutlivingwithdeathsshadow:Ac__ptwhatyouareabletodoandwhatyouarenotabletodo;Ac__ptthepastaspastwithoutdenyingitordiscardingit;Learntoforgiveyourselfandtoforgiveothers;Dontassumethatitstoolatetogetinvolved.Afterawhilehehadmorethanfiftyoftheseaphori__s(格言,警语)whichhesharedwithhisfriends.OnefriendafellowBrandeisprofessornamed__urieSteinwassotakenwiththewordsthathesentthemtoaBostonGlobereporterwhocameoutandwrotealongfeaturestoryonMorrie.Theheadlineread:APROFESSORSFINALCOURSE:HISOWNDEATHThearticlecaughttheeyeofaprodu__rfromtheNightlineshowwhobroughtittoKoppelinWashingtonD.C.Takealookatthistheprodu__rsaid.NextthingyouknewtherewerecamerameninMorrieslivingroomandKoppelslimousinewasinfrontofthehouse.SeveralofMorriesfriendsandfamilymembershadgatheredtomeetKoppelandwhenthefamous__nenteredthehousetheybuzzedwithexcitement—allex__ptMorriewhowheeledhimselfforwardraisedhiseyebrowsandinterruptedtheclamorwithhishighsingsongvoi__.TedIneedtocheckyououtbeforeIagreetodothisinterview.Therewasanawkwardmomentofsilen__thenthetwomenwereusheredintothestudy.Thedoorwasshut.__nonefriendwhisperedoutsidethedoorIhopeTedgoeseasyonMorrie.IhopeMorriegoeseasyonTedsaidtheother.Insidetheoffi__MorriemotionedforKoppeltositdown.Hecrossedhishandsinhislapand__iled.____mesomethingclosetoyourheartMorriebegan.MyheartKoppelstu___dtheold__n.Allrighthesaidcautiouslyandhespokeabouthischildren.TheywereclosetohisheartwerenttheyGoodMorriesaid.Now____mesomethingaboutyourfaith.Koppelwasuncomfortable.IusuallydonttalkaboutsuchthingswithpeopleIveonlyknownafewminutes.TedImdyingMorriesaidpeeringoverhisglasses.Idonth__ealotoftimehere.Koppellaughed.Allright.Faith.Hequotedapassagefrom__rcusAureliussomethinghefeltstronglyabout.Morrienodded.NowletmeaskyousomethingKoppelsaid.H__eyoueverseenmyprogramMorrieshrugged.Twi__Ithink.Twi__ThatsallDontfeelbad.Iveonlyseen`Oprahon__.WellthetwotimesyousawmyshowwhatdidyouthinkMorriepaused.TobehonestYesIthoughtyouwereanarcissist.(自我陶醉者)Koppelburstintolaughter.Imtoouglytobeanarcissisthesaid.♥Soonthecameraswererollinginfrontofthelivingroomfirepla__withKoppelinhiscrispbluesuitandMorrieinhisshaggygraysweater.Hehadrefusedfancyclothesor__keupforthisinterview.Hisphilosophywasthatdeathshouldnotbeembarrassing;hewasnotabouttopowderitsnose.BecauseMorriesatinthewheelchairthecameranevercaughthiswitheredlegs.Andbecausehewasstillabletomovehishands—Morriealwaysspokewithbothhandsw__ing—heshowedgreatpassionwhenexplaininghowyoufa__theendoflife.TedhesaidwhenallthisstartedIaskedmyself`AmIgoingtowithdrawfromtheworldlikemostpeopledooramIgoingtoliveIdecidedImgoingtolive—oratleasttrytolive—thewayIwantwithdignitywithcouragewithhumorwithcomposure(镇静).TherearesomemorningswhenIcryandcryandmournformyself.SomemorningsImsoangryandbitter.Butitdoesntlasttoolong.ThenIgetupandsayIwanttolive...’SofarIvebeenabletodoit.WillIbeabletocontinueIdontknow.ButImbettingonmyselfthatIwill.KoppelseemedextremelytakenwithMorrie.Heaskedaboutthehumilitythatdeathindu__d.WellFredMorriesaidaccidentallythenhequicklycorrectedhimself.ImeanTed...NowthatsinducinghumilityKoppelsaidlaughing.Thetwomenspokeabouttheafterlife.TheyspokeaboutMorriesincreasingdependencyonotherpeople.Healreadyneededhelpeatingandsittingandmovingfrompla__topla__.WhatKoppelaskeddidMorriedreadthemostabouthisslowinsidious(阴险的)decayMorriepaused.Heaskedifhecouldsaythis__rtainthingontelevision.Koppelsaidgoahead.MorrielookedstraightintotheeyesofthemostfamousinterviewerinAmerica.WellTedonedaysoonsomeonesgonnah__etowipemyass(臀部).♥TheprogramairedonaFridaynight.ItbeganwithTedKoppelfrombehindthedeskinWashingtonhisvoi__boomingwithauthority.WhoisMorrieSchwartzhesaidandwhybytheendofthenightareso__nyofyougoingtocareabouthimAthousandmilesawayinmyhouseonthehillIwascasuallyflippingchannels.IheardthesewordsfromtheTVset—WhoisMorrieSchwartz—andwentnumb.Itisourfirstclasstogetherinthespringof
1976.1enterMorrieslargeoffi__andnoti__theseeminglycountlessbooksthatlinethewallshelfaftershelf.Booksonsociologyphilosophyreligionpsychology.Thereisalargerugonthehardwoodfloorandawindowthatlooksoutonthecampuswalk.Onlyadozenorsostudentsaretherefumbling(摸索)withnotebooksandsyllabi.Mostofthemwearjeansandearthshoesandplaidflannelshirts.I____myselfitwillnotbeeasytocutaclass(缺一节课)this__all.__ybeIshouldnttakeit.MitchellMorriesaysreadingfromtheattendan__list.Iraiseahand.DoyoupreferMitchOrisMitchellbetterIh__eneverbeenaskedthisbyateacher.Idoadoubletake(心不在焉后突然注意而恍然大悟)atthisguyinhisyellowturtleneckandgreencorduroy(灯心绒)pantsthesilverhairthatfallsonhisforehead.Heis__iling.MitchIsay.Mitchiswhatmyfriendscalledme.WellMitchitisthenMorriesaysasifclosingadeal.AndMitchYesIhopethatonedayyouwillthinkofmeasyourfriend.TheOrientation♥AsIturnedtherentalcarontoMorriesstreetinWestNewtonaquietsuburbofBostonIhadacupofcoffeeinonehandanda__llularphonebetweenmyearandshoulder.IwastalkingtoaTVprodu__raboutapie__weweredoing.Myeyesjumpedfromthedigitalclock—myreturnflightwasinafewhours—tothe__ilboxnumbersonthetree-linedsuburbanstreet.Thecarradiowasontheall-newsstation.ThiswashowIoperatedfivethingsaton__.RollbackthetapeIsaidtotheprodu__r.Letmehearthatpartagain.Okayhesaid.Itsgonnatakeasecond.SuddenlyIwasuponthehouse.Ipushedthebrakesspillingcoffeeinmylap.AsthecarstoppedIcaughtaglimpseofalargeJapanese__pletreeandthreefiguressittingnearitinthedrivewayayoung__nandamiddle‑agedwo__nflanking(在…侧面)a__allold__ninawheelchair.Morrie.AtthesightofmyoldprofessorIfroze.Hellotheprodu__rsaidinmyear.DidIloseyou...Ihadnotseenhiminsixteenyears.Hishairwasthinnernearlywhiteandhisfa__wasgaunt(憔悴的).Isuddenlyfeltunpreparedforthisreunion—foronethingIwasstuckonthephone—andIhopedthathehadntnoti__dmyarrivalsothatIcoulddrivearoundtheblockafewmoretimesfinishmybusinessgetmentallyready.ButMorriethisnewwitheredversionofa__nIhadon__knownsowellwas__ilingatthecarhandsfoldedinhislapwaitingformetoemerge.Heytheprodu__rsaidagain.AreyouthereForallthetimewedspenttogetherforallthekindnessandpatien__MorriehadshownmewhenIwasyoungIshouldh__edroppedthephoneandjumpedfromthecarrunandheldhimandkissedhimhello.InsteadIkilledtheengineandsunkdownofftheseatasifIwerelookingforsomething.YeahyeahImhereIwhisperedandcontinuedmyconversationwiththeTVprodu__runtilwewerefinished.IdidwhatIhadbecomebestatdoing:Itendedtomyworkevenwhilemydyingprofessorwaitedonhisfrontlawn.IamnotproudofthisbutthatiswhatIdid.♥NowfiveminuteslaterMorriewashuggingmehisthinninghairrubbingagainstmycheek.IhadtoldhimIwassearchingformykeysthatswhathadtakenmesolonginthecarandIsqueezedhimtighterasifIcouldcrushmylittlelie.Althoughthespringsunshinewaswarmheworeawindbreaker(风衣)andhislegswerecoveredbyablanket.He__elledfaintlysourthewaypeopleonmedicationsometimesdo.Withhisfa__pressedclosetomineIcouldhearhislaboredbreathinginmyear.Myoldfriendhewhisperedyouvecomebackatlast.HerockedagainstmenotlettinggohishandsreachingupformyelbowsasIbentoverhim.IwassurprisedatsuchaffectionafteralltheseyearsbuttheninthestonewallsIhadbuiltbetweenmypresentandmypastIhadforgottenhowcloseweon__were.IrememberedgraduationdaythebriefcasehistearsatmydepartureandIswallowedbecauseIknewdeepdownthatIwasnolongerthegoodgift-bearingstudentheremembered.IonlyhopedthatforthenextfewhoursIcouldfoolhim.Insidethehousewesatatawalnutdiningroomtablenearawindowthatlookedoutonthenei___orshouse.Morriefussedwithhiswheelchairtryingtogetcomfortable.AswashiscustomhewantedtofeedmeandIsaidallright.OneofthehelpersastoutItalianwo__nnamedConniecutupbreadandto__toesandbroughtcontainersofchickensaladhummus(豆沙)andtabouli.Shealsobroughtsomepills.Morrielookedatthemandsighed.HiseyesweremoresunkenthanIrememberedthemandhischeekbonesmorepronoun__d.Thisg__ehimaharsherolderlook—untilhe__iledofcourseandthesaggingcheeksgathereduplikecurtains.MitchhesaidsoftlyyouknowthatImdying.Iknew.Allrightthen.Morrieswallowedthepillsputdownthepapercupinhaleddeeplythenletitout.ShallI____youwhatitslikeWhatitslikeTo___Yeshesaid.AlthoughIwasunawareofitourlastclasshadjustbegun.Itismyfresh__nyear.MorrieisolderthanmostoftheteachersandIamyoungerthanmostofthestudentsh__inglefthighschoolayearearly.TocompensateformyyouthoncampusIwearoldgraysweatshirtsandboxinalocalgymandwalkaroundwithanunlitcigaretteinmymoutheventhoughIdonot__oke.Idriveabeat-upMercuryCougarwiththewindowsdownandthemusicup.Iseekmyidentityintoughness—butitisMorriessoftnessthatdrawsmeandbecausehedoesnotlookatmeasakidtryingtobesomethingmorethanIamIrelax.Ifinishthatfirstcoursewithhimandenrollforanother.Heisaneasy__rker;hedoesnotmuchcareforgrades.OneyeartheysayduringtheVietnamWarMorrieg__eallhis__lestudentsAstohelpthemkeeptheirstudentdeferments(延期).IbegintocallMorrieCoachthewayIusedtoaddressmyhighschooltrackcoach.Morrielikesthenickname.Coachhesays.AllrightIllbeyourcoach.Andyoucanbemyplayer.YoucanplayallthelovelypartsoflifethatImtoooldfornow.Sometimesweeattogetherinthecafeteria.Morrietomydelightisevenmoreofaslob(粗俗汉)thanIam.Hetalksinsteadofchewinglaughswithhismouthopendeliversapassionatethoughtthroughamouthfulofeggsaladthelittleyellowpie__sspewing(压出)fromhisteeth.Itcracksmeup.ThewholetimeIknowhimIh__etwooverwhelmingdesires:tohughimandtogivehimanapkin.TheClassroom♥Thesunbeamedinthroughthediningroomwindowlightingupthehardwoodfloor.Wehadbeentalkingtherefornearlytwohours.ThephonerangyetagainandMorrieaskedhishelperConnietogetit.ShehadbeenjottingthecallersnamesinMorries__allblackappointmentbook.Friends.Meditationteachers.Adiscussiongroup.Someonewhowantedtophotographhimfora__gazine.ItwasclearIwasnottheonlyoneinterestedinvisitingmyoldprofessor—theNightlineappearan__had__dehimsomethingofa__lebrity(名人)—butIwasimpressedwithperhapsevenabitenviousofallthefriendsthatMorrieseemedtoh__e.Ithoughtaboutthebud___sthatcircledmyorbitbackincollege.WherehadtheygoneYouknowMitchnowthatImdyingIvebecomemuchmoreinterestingtopeople.Youwerealwaysinteresting.Ho.Morrie__iled.Yourekind.NoImnotIthought.Heresthethinghesaid.Peopleseemeasabridge.ImnotasaliveasIusedtobebutImnotyetdead.Imsortof...in-between.Hecoughedthenregainedhis__ile.Imonthelastgreatjourneyhere—andpeoplewantmeto____themwhattopack.Thephonerangagain.MorriecanyoutalkConnieasked.Imvisitingwithmyoldpalnowheannoun__d.Letthemcallback.Icannot____youwhyhere__ivedmesowarmly.Iwashardlythepromisingstudentwhohadlefthimsixteenyearsearlier.HaditnotbeenforNightlineMorriemighth__e___dwithouteverseeingmeagain.Ihadnogoodexcuseforthisex__pttheonethateveryonethesedaysseemstoh__e.Ihadbecometoowrappedupinthesiren(汽笛)songofmyownlife.Iwasbusy.WhathappenedtomeIaskedmyself.Morrieshigh__okyvoi__tookmebacktomyuniversityyearswhenIthoughtrichpeoplewereevilashirtandtiewereprisonclothesandlifewithout_______togetupandgo—motorcyclebeneathyoubreezeinyourfa__downthestreetsofParisintothemountainsofTibet—wasnotagoodlifeatall.WhathappenedtomeTheeightieshappened.Theninetieshappened.Deathandsicknessandgettingfatandgoingbaldhappened.ItradedlotsofdreamsforabiggerpaycheckandIneverevenrealizedIwasdoingit.YetherewasMorrietalkingwiththewonderofourcollegeyearsasifIdsimplybeenonalongvacation.H__eyoufoundsomeonetoshareyourheartwithheasked.AreyougivingtoyourcommunityAreyouatpea__withyourselfAreyoutryingtobeashu__nasyoucanbeIsquirmed(蠕动)wantingtoshowIhadbeengrapplingdeeplywithsuchquestions.WhathappenedtomeIon__promisedmyselfIwouldneverworkformoneythatIwouldjointhePea__CorpsthatIwouldliveinbeautifulinspirational(给予灵感的)pla__s.InsteadIhadbeeninDetroitfortenyearsnowatthesameworkpla__usingthesamebankvisitingthesamebarber.Iwasthirty-sevenmoreefficientthanincollegetiedtocomputersandmodemsand__llphones.Iwrotearticlesaboutrichathleteswhoforthemostpartcouldnotcarelessaboutpeoplelikeme.IwasnolongeryoungformypeergroupnordidIwalkaroundingraysweatshirtswithunlitcigarettesinmymouth.Ididnoth__elongdiscussionsovereggsaladsandwichesaboutthemeaningoflife.MydayswerefullyetIre__inedmuchofthetimeunsatisfied.WhathappenedtomeCoachIsaidsuddenlyrememberingthenickname.Morriebeamed.Thatsme.Imstillyourcoach.Helaughedandresumedhiseatingamealhehadstartedfortyminutesearlier.Iwatchedhimnowhishandsworkinggingerly(小心翼翼地)asifhewerelearningtousethemfortheveryfirsttime.Hecouldnotpressdownhardwithaknife.Hisfingersshook.Eachbitewasastruggle;hechewedthefoodfinelybeforeswallowingandsometimesitslidoutthesidesofhislipssothathehadtoputdownwhathewasholdingtodabhisfa__withanapkin.Theskinfromhiswristtohisknuckles(指关节)wasdottedwithagespotsanditwaslooselikeskinhangingfromachickensoupbone.Forawhilewejustatelikethatasickold__nahealthyyounger__nbothabsorbingthequietoftheroom.Iwouldsayitwasanembarrassedsilen__butIseemedtobetheonlyoneembarrassed.DyingMorriesuddenlysaidisonlyonethingtobesadoverMitch.Livingunhappilyissomethingelse.So__nyofthepeoplewhocometovisitmeareunhappy.WhyWellforonethingthecultureweh__edoesnot__kepeoplefeelgoodaboutthemselves.Wereteachingthewrongthings.Andyouh__etobestrongenoughtosayiftheculturedoesntworkdontbuyit.Createyourown.Mostpeoplecantdoit.Theyremoreunhappythanme—eveninmycurrentcondition.I__ybedyingbutIamsurroundedbylovingcaringsouls.How__nypeoplecansaythatIwasastonishedbyhiscompletelackofself-pity.Morriewhocouldnolongerdan__swimbatheorwalk;Morriewhocouldnolongeranswerhisowndoordryhimselfafterashowerorevenrolloverinbed.Howcouldhebesoac__ptingIwatchedhimstrugglewithhisforkpickingatapie__ofto__tomissingitthefirsttwotimes—apathetic(可怜的)s__neandyetIcouldnotdenythatsittinginhispresen__wasalmost__gicallyserene(平静的)thesamecalmbreezethatsoothedmebackincollege.Ishotaglan__atmywatch—for__ofhabit—itwasgettinglateandIthoughtaboutchangingmyplanereservationhome.ThenMorriedidsomethingthathauntsmetothisday.YouknowhowImgoingto___hesaid.Iraisedmyeyebrows.Imgoingtosuffocate(窒息).Yes.Mylungsbecauseofmyasth__canthandlethedisease.ItsmovingupmybodythisALS.Itsalreadygotmylegs.Prettysoonitllgetmyarmsandhands.Andwhenithitsmylungs..Heshruggedhisshoulders.“…Imsunk.”IhadnoideawhattosaysoIsaidWellyouknowImean...youneverknow.Morrieclosedhiseyes.IknowMitch.Youmustntbeafraidofmydying.Ivehadagoodlifeandweallknowitsgoingtohappen.I__ybeh__efourorfivemonths.ComeonIsaidnervously.Nobodycansay-Icanhesaidsoftly.Theresevenalittletest.Adoctorshowedme.AtestInhaleafewtimes.Ididashesaid.Nowon__morebutthistimewhenyouexhalecountas__nynumbersasyoucanbeforeyoutakeanotherbreath.Iquicklyexhaledthenumbers.One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight...Ireachedseventybeforemybreathwasgone.GoodMorriesaid.Youh__ehealthylungs.Now.WatchwhatIdo.Heinhaledthenbeganhisnumbercountinasoftwobblyvoi__.One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten-eleven-twelve-thirteen-fourteen-fifteen-sixteen-seventeen-eighteen—Hestoppedgaspingforair.WhenthedoctorfirstaskedmetodothisIcouldreachtwenty-three.Nowitseighteen.Heclosedhiseyesshookhishead.Mytankisalmostempty.Itappedmythighsnervously.Thatwasenoughforoneafternoon.ComebackandseeyouroldprofessorMorriesaidwhenIhuggedhimgood-bye.IpromisedIwouldandItriednottothinkaboutthelasttimeIpromisedthis.InthecampusbookstoreIshopfortheitemsonMorriesreadinglist.IpurchasebooksthatIneverknewexistedtitlessuchasYouth:IdentityandCrisisIandThouTheDividedSelf.BeforecollegeIdidnotknowthestudyofhu__nrelationscouldbeconsideredscholarly.UntilImetMorrieIdidnotbelieveit.Buthispassionforbooksisrealandcontagious.Webegintotalkseriouslysometimesafterclasswhentheroomhasemptied.HeasksmequestionsaboutmylifethenquoteslinesfromErichFromm__rtinBuberErikErikson.Oftenhedefersto(尊重)theirwordsfootnotinghisownadvi__eventhoughheobviouslythoughtthesamethingshimself:ItisatthesetimesthatIrealizeheisindeedaprofessornotanuncle.OneafternoonIamcomplainingabouttheconfusionofmyagewhatisexpectedofmeversuswhatIwantformyselfH__eItoldyouaboutthetensionofoppositeshesays.ThetensionofoppositesLifeisaseriesofpullsbackandforth.Youwanttodoonethingbutyouareboundtodosomethingelse.Somethinghurtsyouyetyouknowitshouldnt.Youtake__rtainthingsforgrantedevenwhenyouknowyoushouldnevertakeanythingforgranted.Atensionofoppositeslikeapullonarubberband.Andmostofuslivesomewhereinthemiddle.Soundslikeawrestling__tchIsay.Awrestling__tch.Helaughs.Yesyoucoulddescribelifethatway.SowhichsidewinsIaskWhichsidewinsHe__ilesatmethecrinkledeyesthecrookedteeth.Lovewins.Lovealwayswins.TakingAttendan__♥IflewtoLondonafewweekslater.IwascoveringWimbledon(温布尔登)theworldspremiertenniscompetitionandoneofthefeweventsIgotowherethecrowdneverboos(作嘘声)andnooneisdrunkintheparkinglot.EnglandwaswarmandcloudyandeachmorningIwalkedthetree-linedstreetsnearthetenniscourtspassingteenagerscuedupforleftoverticketsandvendorssellingstrawberriesandcream.Outsidethegatewasanewsstandthatsoldahalf-dozencolorfulBritishtabloids(小报)featuringphotosoftoplesswomenpaparazzi(无固定职业的摄影师)picturesoftheroyalfamilyhoroscopes(占星)sportslotterycontestsandawee(微小的)bitofactualnews.Theirtopheadlineofthedaywaswrittenona__allchalkboardthatleanedagainstthelateststackofpapersandusuallyreadsomethinglikeDIANAINROWWITHCHARLES!OrGAllATOTEAM:GIVEMEMILLIONS!PeoplescoopedupthesetabloidsdevouredtheirgossipandonprevioustripstoEnglandIhadalwaysdonethesame.ButnowforsomereasonIfoundmyselfthinkingaboutMorriewheneverIreadanythingsillyormindless.IkeptpicturinghimthereinthehousewiththeJapanese__pleandthehardwoodfloorscountinghisbreathsqueezingouteverymomentwithhislovedoneswhileIspentso__nyhoursonthingsthatmeantabsolutelynothingtomepersonally:moviestarssupermodelsthelatestnoiseoutofPrin__ssDior__donnaorJohnF.KennedyJr.InastrangewayIenviedthequalityofMorriestimeevenasIlamented(哀悼)itsdiminishingsupply.WhydidwebotherwithallthedistractionswedidBackhometheO.J.Simpsontrialwasinfullswingandtherewerepeoplewhosurrenderedtheirentirelunchhourswatchingitthentapedtherestsotheycouldwatchmoreatnight.Theydidntknow
0.J.Simpson.Theydidntknowanyoneinvolvedinthecase.Yettheyg__eupdaysandweeksoftheirlivesaddictedtosomeoneelsesdra__.IrememberedwhatMorriesaidduringourvisit:Thecultureweh__edoesnot__kepeoplefeelgoodaboutthemselves.Andyouh__etobestrongenoughtosayiftheculturedoesntworkdontbuyit.Morrietruetothesewordshaddevelopedhisownculture—longbeforehegotsick.DiscussiongroupswalkswithfriendsdancingtohismusicintheHarvardSquarechurch.HestartedaprojectcalledGreenhousewherepoorpeoplecouldre__ivementalhealthservi__s.Hereadbookstofindnewideasforhisclassesvisitedwithcolleagueskeptupwitholdstudentswroteletterstodistantfriends.HetookmoretimeeatingandlookingatnatureandwastednotimeinfrontofTVsitcoms(连续剧)orMoviesoftheWeek.Hehadcreatedacocoon(茧)ofhu__nactivities—conversationinteractionaffection—anditfilledhislifelikeanoverflowingsoupbowl.Ihadalsodevelopedmyownculture.Work.IdidfourorfivemediajobsinEnglandjuggling(杂耍)themlikeaclown(小丑).IspenteighthoursadayonacomputerfeedingmystoriesbacktotheStates.ThenIdidTVpie__str__elingwithacrewthroughoutpartsofLondon.Ialsophonedinradioreportseverymorningandafternoon.Thiswasnotanabnor__lload.OvertheyearsIhadtakenlaborasmycompanionandhadmovedeverythingelsetotheside.InWimbledonIatemealsatmylittlewoodenworkcubicle(小卧室)andthoughtnothingofit.OnoneparticularlycrazydayacrushofreportershadtriedtochasedownAndreAgassiandhisfamousgirlfriendBrookeShieldsandIhadgottenknockedoverbyaBritishphotographerwhobarelymutteredSorrybeforesweepingpasthishugemetallensesstrappedaroundhisneck.IthoughtofsomethingelseMorriehadtoldme:So__nypeoplewalkaroundwithameaninglesslife.Theyseemhalf-asleepevenwhentheyrebusydoingthingstheythinkareimportant.Thisisbecausetheyrechasingthewrongthings.Thewayyougetmeaningintoyourlifeistodevoteyourselftolovingothersdevoteyourselftoyourcommunityaroundyouanddevoteyourselftocreatingsomethingthatgivesyoupurposeandmeaning.Iknewhewasright.NotthatIdidanythingaboutit.Attheendofthetournament—andthecountlesscupsofcoffeeIdranktogetthroughit—Iclosedmycomputercleanedoutmycubicleandwentbacktotheapartmenttopack.Itwaslate.TheTVwasnothingbutfuzz.IflewtoDetroitarrivedlateintheafternoondraggedmyselfhomeandwenttosleep.Iawoketoajolting(震动的)pie__ofnews:theunionsatmynewspaperhadgoneonstrike.Thepla__wasshutdown.Therewerepicketers(纠察员)atthefrontentran__and__rcherschantingupanddownthestreet.AsamemberoftheunionIhadnochoi__:Iwassuddenlyandforthefirsttimeinmylifeoutofajoboutofapaycheckandpitted(竞争)againstmyemployers.Unionleaderscalledmyhomeandwarnedmeagainstanycontactwithmyformereditors__nyofwhomweremyfriends____ingmetohangupiftheytriedtocallandplead(辩护)theircase.Weregoingtofightuntilwewin!theunionleaderssworesoundinglikesol___rs.Ifeltconfusedanddepressed.AlthoughtheTVandradioworkwereni__supplementsthenewspaperhadbeenmylifelinemyoxygen;whenIsawmystoriesinprintineachmorningIknewthatinatleastonewayIwasalive.Nowitwasgone.Andasthestrikecontinued—thefirstdaytheseconddaythethirdday—therewereworriedphonecallsandrumorsthatthiscouldgoonformonths.EverythingIhadknownwasupsidedown.ThereweresportingeventseachnightthatIwouldh__egonetocover.InsteadIstayedhomewatchedthemonTV.Ihadgrownusedtothinkingreaderssomehowneededmycolumn.Iwasstunnedathoweasilythingswentonwithoutme.AfteraweekofthisIpickedupthephoneanddialedMorriesnumber.Conniebroughthimtothephone.Yourecomingtovisitmehesaidlessaquestionthanastatement.Well.CouldIHowaboutTuesdayTuesdaywouldbegoodIsaid.Tuesdaywouldbefine.InmysophomoreyearItaketwomoreofhiscourses.Wegobeyondtheclassroommeetingnowandthenjusttotalk.Ih__eneverdonethisbeforewithan_____whowasnotarelativeyetIfeelcomfortabledoingitwithMorrieandheseemscomfortable__kingthetime.WhereshallwevisittodayheaskscheerilywhenIenterhisoffi__.InthespringwesitunderatreeoutsidethesociologybuildingandinthewinterwesitbyhisdeskmeinmygraysweatshirtsandAdidassneakersMorrieinRockportshoesandcorduroypants.Eachtimewetalkhelistenstomeramblethenhetriestopassonsomesortoflifelesson.Hewarnsmethatmoneyisnotthemostimportantthingcontrarytothepopularviewoncampus.He____smeIneedtobefullyhu__n.Hespeaksofthealienationofyouthandtheneedforconnectednesswiththesocietyaroundme.SomeofthesethingsIunderstandsomeIdonot.It__kesnodifferen__.ThediscussionsgivemeanexcusetotalktohimfatherlyconversationsIcannoth__ewithmyownfatherwhowouldlikemetobealawyer.Morriehateslawyers.Whatdoyouwanttodowhenyougetoutofcollegeheasks.IwanttobeamusicianIsay.Pianoplayer.Wonderfulhesays.Butthatsahardlife.Yeah.Alotofsharks.ThatswhatIhear.Stillhesaysifyoureallywantitthenyoull__keyourdreamhappen.IwanttohughimtothankhimforsayingthatbutIamnotthatopen.Ionlynodinstead.Illbetyouplaypianowithalotofpep(活力,锐气)hesays.Ilaugh.PepHelaughsback.Pep.Whatsthe__tterTheydontsaythatanymoreTheFirstTuesdayWetalkAbouttheWorld♥Connieopenedthedoorandletmein.Morriewasinhiswheelchairbythekitchentablewearingaloosecottonshirtandevenlooserblacksweatpants.Theywereloosebecausehislegshadatrophied(萎缩)beyondnor__lclothingsize—youcouldgettwohandsaroundhisthighsandh__eyourfingerstouch.Hadhebeenabletostandhedh__ebeennomorethanfivefeettallandhedprobablyh__efitintoasixthgradersjeans.IgotyousomethingIannoun__dholdingupabrownpaperbag.Ihadstoppedonmywayfromtheairportatanearbysuper__rketandpurchasedsometurkeypotatosalad__caronisaladandbagels.IknewtherewasplentyoffoodatthehousebutIwantedtocontributesomething.IwassopowerlesstohelpMorrieotherwise.AndIrememberedhisfondnessforeating.Ahsomuchfood!hesang.Well.Nowyouh__etoeatitwithme.Wesatatthekitchentablesurroundedbywicker(柳条制的)chairs.Thistimewithouttheneedto__keupsixteenyearsofinfor__tionweslidquicklyintothefamiliarwatersofouroldcollegedialogueMorrieaskingquestionslisteningtomyrepliesstoppinglikeacheftosprinkleinsomethingIdforgottenorhadntrealized.Heaskedaboutthenewspaperstrikeandtruetoformhecouldntunderstandwhybothsidesdidntsimplycommunicatewitheachotherandsolvetheirproblems.Itoldhimnoteveryonewasas__artashewas.Occasionallyhehadtostoptousethebathroomapro__ssthattooksometime.Conniewouldwheelhimtothetoiletthenlifthimfromthechairandsupporthimasheurinatedintothebeaker.Eachtimehecamebackhelookedtired.DoyourememberwhenItoldTedKoppelthatprettysoonsomeonewasgonnah__etowipemyasshesaid.Ilaughed.Youdontforgetamomentlikethat.WellIthinkthatdayiscoming.Thatonebothersme.WhyBecauseitstheulti__tesignofdependency.Someonewipingyourbottom.ButImworkingonit.Imtryingtoenjoythepro__ss.EnjoyitYes.AfterallIgettobeababyonemoretime.Thatsauniquewayoflookingatit.WellIh__etolookatlifeuniquelynow.Letsfa__it.IcantgoshoppingIcanttakecareofthebankaccountsIcanttakeoutthegarbage.ButIcansitherewithmydwindlingdaysandlookatwhatIthinkisimportantinlife.Ih__eboththetime—andthereason—todothat.SoIsaidinareflexivelycynicalresponseIguessthekeytofindingthemeaningoflifeistostoptakingoutthegarbageHelaughedandIwasrelievedthathedid.♥AsConnietooktheplatesawayInoti__dastackofnewspapersthathadobviouslybeenreadbeforeIgotthere.YoubotherkeepingupwiththenewsIaskedYesMorriesaid.DoyouthinkthatsstrangeDoyouthinkbecauseImdyingIshouldntcarewhathappensinthisworld__ybe.Hesighed.__ybeyoureright.__ybeIshouldntcare.AfterallIwontbearoundtoseehowitallturnsout.ButitshardtoexplainMitch.NowthatImsufferingIfeelclosertopeoplewhosufferthanIeverdidbefore.TheothernightonTVIsawpeopleinBosniarunningacrossthestreetgettingfireduponkilledinno__ntvictims...andIjuststartedtocry.Ifeeltheiranguishasifitweremyown.Idontknowanyofthesepeople.But—howcanIputthis—Imalmost...drawntothem.HiseyesgotmoistandItriedtochangethesu__ectbuthedabbedhisfa__andw__edmeoff.Icryallthetimenowhesaid.Nevermind.A__zingIthought.Iworkedinthenewsbusiness.Icoveredstorieswherepeople___d.Iinterviewedgrievingfamilymembers.Ievenattendedthefunerals.Inevercried.Morrieforthesufferingofpeoplehalfaworldawaywasweeping.IsthiswhatcomesattheendIwondered__ybedeathisthegreatequalizer(均衡装置)theonebigthingthatcanfinally__kestrangersshedatearforoneanother.Morriehonkedloudlyintothetissue.ThisisokaywithyouisntitMencryingSureIsaidtooquickly.Hegrinned.AhMitchImgonnaloosenyouup.OnedayImgonnashowyouitsokaytocry.YeahyeahIsaid.Yeahyeahhesaid.Welaughedbecauseheusedtosaythesamethingnearlytwentyyearsearlier.MostlyonTuesdays.InfactTuesdayhadalwaysbeenourdaytogether.MostofmycourseswithMorriewereonTuesdayshehadoffi__hoursonTuesdaysandwhenIwrotemyseniorthesis—whichwasprettymuchMorriessuggestionrightfromthestart—itwasonTuesdaysthatwesattogetherbyhisdeskorinthecafeteriaoronthestepsofPearl__nHallgoingoverthework.SoitseemedonlyfittingthatwewerebacktogetheronaTuesdayhereinthehousewiththeJapanese__pleoutfront.AsIrea___dtogoImentionedthistoMorrie.WereTuesdaypeoplehesaid.TuesdaypeopleIrepeated.Morrie__iled.MitchyouaskedaboutcaringforpeopleIdontevenknow.ButcanI____youthethingImlearningmostwiththisdiseaseWhatsthatThemostimportantthinginlifeistolearnhowtogiveoutloveandtoletitcomein.Hisvoi__droppedtoawhisper.Letitcomein.Wethinkwedontdeservelovewethinkifweletitinwellbecometoosoft.Butawise__nnamedLevinesaiditright.HesaidLoveistheonlyrationalact.Herepeateditcarefullypausingforeffect.Loveistheonlyrationalact.Inoddedlikeagoodstudentandheexhaledweakly.Ileanedovertogivehimahug.AndthenalthoughitisnotreallylikemeIkissedhimonthecheek.Ifelthisweakenedhandsonmyarmsthethinstubble(短茬)ofhiswhiskers(腮须)brushingmyfa__.SoyoullcomebacknextTuesdayhewhispered.Heenterstheclassroomsitsdowndoesntsayanything.Helooksatuswelookathim.AtfirstthereareafewgigglesbutMorrieonlyshrugsandeventuallyadeepsilen__fallsandwebegintonoti__the__allestsoundstheradiatorhumminginthecorneroftheroomthenasalbreathingofoneofthefatstudents.Someofusareagitated(不安的).WhenishegoingtosaysomethingWesquirmcheckourwatches.Afewstudentslookoutthewindowtryingtobeaboveitall.ThisgoesonagoodfifteenminutesbeforeMorriefinallybreaksinwithawhisper.Whatshappeninghereheasks.Andslowlyadiscussionbegins—asMorriehaswantedallalongabouttheeffectofsilen__onhu__nrelations.Whyareweembarrassedbysilen__WhatcomfortdowefindinallthenoiseIamnotbotheredbythesilen__.ForallthenoiseI__kewithmyfriendsIamstillnotcomfortabletalkingaboutmyfeelingsinfrontofothers—especiallynotclas__ates.Icouldsitinthequietforhoursifthatiswhattheclassde__nded.OnmywayoutMorriestopsme.Youdidntsaymuchtodayhere__rks.Idontknow.Ijustdidnth__eanythingtoadd.Ithinkyouh__ealottoadd.InfactMitchyouremindmeofsomeoneIknewwhoalsolikedtokeepthingstohimselfwhenhewasyounger.WhoMe.TheSecondTuesdayWeTalkAboutreelingSorryforYourself♥IcamebackthenextTuesday.Andfor__nyTuesdaysthatfollowed.IlookedforwardtothesevisitsmorethanonewouldthinkconsideringIwasflyingsevenhundredmilestositalongsideadying__n.ButIseemedtoslipintoatimewarp(乖僻)whenIvisitedMorrieandIlikedmyselfbetterwhenIwasthere.Inolongerrenteda__llularphonefortheridesfromtheairport.LetthemwaitItoldmyselfmimickingMorrie.ThenewspapersituationinDetroithadnotimproved.Infactithadgrownincreasinglyinsanewithnastyconfrontationsbetweenpicketersandrepla__mentworkerspeoplearrestedbeatenlyinginthestreetinfrontofdeliverytrucks.InlightofthismyvisitswithMorriefeltlikeacleansingrinseofhu__nkindness.Wetalkedaboutlifeandwetalkedaboutlove.WetalkedaboutoneofMorriesf__oritesu__ectscompassionandwhyoursocietyhadsuchashortageofit.BeforemythirdvisitIstoppedata__rketcalledBreadandCircus—IhadseentheirbagsinMorrieshouseandfiguredhemustlikethefoodthere—andIloadedupwithplasticcontainersfromtheirfreshfoodtake-awaythingslikevermi__lli(细面条)withvegetablesandcarrotsoupandbakl__a(果仁蜜饼).WhenIenteredMorriesstudyIliftedthebagsasifIdjustrobbedabank.Food__n!Ibellowed(吼叫).Morrierolledhiseyesand__iled.MeanwhileIlookedforsignsofthediseasesprogression.Hisfingersworkedwellenoughtowritewithapencilorholduphisglassesbuthecouldnotlifthisarmsmuchhigherthanhischest.Hewasspendinglessandlesstimeinthekitchenorlivingroomandmoreinhisstudywherehehadalargerecliningchairsetupwithpillowsblanketsandspeciallycutpie__soffoamrubberthatheldhisfeetandg__esupporttohiswitheredlegs.Hekeptabellnearhissideandwhenhisheadneededadjustingorhehadtogoonthecommode(便桶)ashereferredtoithewouldshakethebellandConnieTonyBerthaorAmy—his__allarmyofhomecareworkers—wouldcomein.Itwasntalwayseasyforhimtoliftthebellandhegotfrustratedwhenhecouldnt__keitwork.IaskedMorrieifhefeltsorryforhimself.Sometimesinthemorningshesaid.ThatswhenImourn.IfeelaroundmybodyImovemyfingersandmyhands—whateverIcanstillmove—andImournwhatIvelost.ImourntheslowinsidiouswayinwhichImdying.ButthenIstopmourning.JustlikethatIgivemyselfagoodcryifIneedit.ButthenIcon__ntrateonallthegoodthingsstillinmylife.Onthepeoplewhoarecomingtoseeme.OnthestoriesImgoingtohear.Onyou—ifitsTuesday.BecausewereTuesdaypeople.Igrinned.Tuesdaypeople.MitchIdontallowmyselfanymoreself-pitythanthat.Alittleeachmorningafewtearsandthatsall.IthoughtaboutallthepeopleIknewwhospent__nyoftheirwakinghoursfeelingsorryforthemselves.Howusefulitwouldbetoputadailylimitonself-pity.Justafewtearfulminutesthenonwiththeday.AndifMorriecoulddoitwithsuchahorribledisease...ItsonlyhorribleifyouseeitthatwayMorriesaid.Itshorribletowatchmybodyslowlywilt(枯萎)awaytonothing.ButitsalsowonderfulbecauseofallthetimeIgettosaygood-bye.He__iled.Noteveryoneissolucky.Istu___dhiminhischairunabletostandtowashtopullonhispants.LuckyDidhereallysaylucky♥DuringabreakwhenMorriehadtousethebathroomIleafedthroughtheBostonnewspaperthatsatnearhischair.Therewasastoryabouta__alltimbertownwheretwoteenagegirlstorturedandkilledaseventy-three-year-old__nwhohadbefriended(待人如友)themthenthrewa_____inhistrailerhomeandshowedoffthecorpse.Therewasanotherstoryabouttheupcomingtrialofastraight__nwhokilledagay__nafterthelatterhadgoneonaTVtalkshowandsaidhehadacrushonhim.Iputthepaperaway.Morriewasrolledbackin—__ilingasalways—andConniewenttolifthimfromthewheelchairtotherecliner(躺椅).YouwantmetodothatIasked.Therewasamomentarysilen__andImnotevensurewhyIofferedbutMorrielookedatConnieandsaidCanyoushowhimhowtodoitSureConniesaid.FollowingherinstructionsIleanedoverlockedmyforearmsunderMorriesarmpitsandhookedhimtowardmeasifliftingalargelogfromunderneath.ThenIstraighteneduphoistinghimasIrose.Nor__llywhenyouliftsomeoneyouexpecttheirarmstotightenaroundyourgripbutMorriecouldnotdothis.HewasmostlydeadweightandIfelthisheadboun__softlyonmyshoulderandhisbodysag(下垂)againstmelikeabigdamploaf.Ahhhnhesoftlygroaned.Igotcha(=gotyou)IgotchaIsaid.HoldinghimlikethatmovedmeinawayIcannotdescribeex__pttosayIfelttheseedsofdeathinsidehisshriveling(枯萎)frameandasIlaidhiminhischairadjustinghisheadonthepillowsIhadthecoldestrealizationthatourtimewasrunningout.AndIhadtodosomething.Itismyjunioryear1978whendiscoandRockymoviesaretheculturalrage.WeareinanunusualsociologyclassatBrandeissomethingMorriecallsGroupPro__ss.Eachweekwestudythewaysinwhichthestudentsinthegroupinteractwithoneanotherhowtheyrespondtoangerjealousyattention.Wearehu__nlabrats.Moreoftenthannotsomeoneendsupcrying.IrefertoitasthetouchyFeelycourse.MorriesaysIshouldbemoreopen-minded.OnthisdayMorriesayshehasanexerciseforustotry.Wearetostandfacingawayfromourclas__atesandfallbackwardrelyingonanotherstudenttocatchus.Mostofusareuncomfortablewiththisandwecannotletgoformorethanafewinchesbeforestoppingourselves.Welaughinembarras__ent.Finallyonestudentathinquietdark-hairedgirlwhomInoti__almostalwayswearsbulkywhitefisher__nsweaterscrossesherarmsoverherchestcloseshereyesleansbackanddoesnotflinch(退缩)likeoneofthoseLiptonteacommercialswherethemodelsplashesintothepool.ForamomentIamsuresheisgoingtothumponthefloor.Atthelastinstantherassignedpartnergrabsherheadandshouldersandyanksherupharshly.Whoa!severalstudentsyell.Someclap.Morriefinally__iles.Youseehesaystothegirlyouclosedyoureyes.Thatwasthedifferen__.Sometimesyoucannotbelievewhatyouseeyouh__etobelievewhatyoufeel.Andifyouareevergoingtoh__eotherpeopletrustyouyoumustfeelthatyoucantrustthemtoo—evenwhenyoureinthedark.Evenwhenyourefalling.TheThirdTuesdayWeTalkAboutRegrets♥ThenextTuesdayIarrivedwiththenor__lbagsoffood—pastawithcornpotatosaladapplecobbler—andsomethingelse:aSonytaperecorder.IwanttorememberwhatwetalkaboutItoldMorrie.Iwanttoh__eyourvoi__soIcanlistentoit...later.WhenImdead.Dontsaythat.Helaughed.MitchImgoingto___.Andsoonernotlater.Heregardedthenew__chine.Sobighesaid.IfeltintrusiveasreportersoftendoandIbegantothinkthatatape__chinebetweentwopeoplewhoweresupposedlyfriendswasaforeigno__ectanartificialear.WithallthepeopleclamoringforhistimeperhapsIwastryingtotaketoomuchawayfromtheseTuesdays.ListenIsaidpickinguptherecorder.Wedonth__etousethis.Ifit__kesyouuncomfortableHestoppedmewaggedafingerthenhookedhisglassesoffhisnoselettingthemdangleonthestringaroundhisneck.Helookedmesquareintheeye.Putitdownhesaid.Iputitdown.Mitchhecontinuedsoftlynowyoudontunderstand.Iwantto____youaboutmylife.Iwantto____youbeforeIcant____youanymore.Hisvoi__droppedtoawhisper.Iwantsomeonetohearmystory.WillyouInodded.Wesatquietlyforamoment.Sohesaidisitturnedon♥Nowthetruthisthattaperecorderwasmorethannostalgia.IwaslosingMorriewewerealllosingMorrie—hisfamilyhisfriendshisex-studentshisfellowprofessorshispalsfromthepoliticaldiscussiongroupsthathelovedsomuchhisformerdan__partnersallofus.AndIsupposetapeslikephotographsandvideosareadesperateattempttostealsomethingfromdeathssuitcase.Butitwasalsobecomingcleartome—throughhiscouragehishumorhispatien__andhisopenness—thatMorriewaslookingatlifefromsomeverydifferentpla__thananyoneelseIknew.Ahealthierpla__.Amoresensiblepla__.Andhewasaboutto___.IfsomemysticalclarityofthoughtcamewhenyoulookeddeathintheeyethenIknewMorriewantedtoshareit.AndIwantedtorememberitforaslongasIcould.♥ThefirsttimeIsawMorrieonNightlineIwonderedwhatregretshehadon__heknewhisdeathwasimminent.DidhelamentlostfriendsWouldheh__edonemuchdifferentlySelfishlyIwonderedifIwereinhisshoeswouldIbeconsumedwithsadthoughtsofallthatIhadmissedWouldIregretthesecretsIhadkepthiddenWhenImentionedthistoMorriehenodded.ItswhateveryoneworriesaboutisntitWhatiftodayweremylastdayonearthHestu___dmyfa__andperhapshesawanambivalen__(正反感情并存)aboutmyownchoi__s.Ihadthisvisionofmekeeling(倾倒)overatmydeskonedayhalfwaythroughastorymyeditorssnatchingthecopyevenasthemedics(实习医生)carriedmybodyaway.MitchMorriesaid.Ishookmyheadandsaidnothing.ButMorriepickedupon(与…熟悉起来)myhesitation.Mitchhesaidtheculturedoesntencourageyoutothinkaboutsuchthingsuntilyoureaboutto___.Weresowrappedupwithegotistical(自我本位的)thingscareerfamilyh__ingenoughmoneymeetingthemortgagegettinganewcarfixingtheradiatorwhenitbreaks—wereinvolvedintrillionsoflittleactsjusttokeepgoing.SowedontgetintothehabitofstandingbackandlookingatourlivesandsayingIsthisallIsthisallIwantIssomethingmissingHepaused.Youneedsomeonetoprobeyouinthatdirection.Itwontjusthappenauto__tically.Iknewwhathewassaying.Weallneedteachersinourlives.Andminewassittinginfrontofme.♥FineIfigured.IfIwastobethestudentthenIwouldbeasgoodastudentasIcouldbe.OntheplaneridehomethatdayI__dea__alllistonayellowlegalpadissuesandquestionsthatweallgrapplewithfromhappinesstoagingtoh__ingchildrentodeath.Ofcoursetherewereamillionself-helpbooksonthesesu__ectsandplentyofcableTVshowsand$90per-hourconsultationsessions.AmericahadbecomeaPersianbazaar(杂货店)ofself-help.Buttherestillseemedtobenoclearanswers.DoyoutakecareofothersortakecareofyourinnerchildReturntotraditionalvaluesorrejecttraditionasuselessSeeksuc__ssorseeksimplicityJustSayNoorJustDoItAllIknewwasthis:Morriemyoldprofessorwasntintheself-helpbusiness.Hewasstandingonthetrackslisteningtodeathslocomotivewhistleandhewasveryclearabouttheimportantthingsinlife.Iwantedthatclarity.EveryconfusedandtorturedsoulIknewwantedthatclarity.AskmeanythingMorriealwayssaid.SoIwrotethislist:DeathFearAgingGreed__rriageFamilySocietyForgivenessAmeaningfullifeThelistwasinmybagwhenIreturnedtoWestNewtonforthefourthtimeaTuesdayinlateAugustwhentheair-conditioningattheLoganAirportterminalwasnotworkingandpeoplefannedthemselvesandwipedsweatangrilyfromtheirforeheadsandeveryfa__Isawlookedreadytokillsomebody.BythestartofmysenioryearIh__etakenso__nysociologyclassesIamonlyafewcreditsshyofadegree.MorriesuggestsItryanhonorsthesis.MeIask.WhatwouldIwriteaboutWhatinterestsyouhesays.Webatitbackandforth(反复讨论)untilwefinallysettleonofallthingssports.Ibeginayear-longprojectonhowfootballinAmericahasbecomeritualisticalmostareligionanopiate(__)forthe__sses.Ih__enoideathatthisistrainingformyfuturecareer.Ionlyknowitgivesmeanotheron__-a-weeksessionwithMorrie.AndwithhishelpbyspringIh__ea112-pagethesisresearchedfootnoteddocumentedandneatlyboundinblackleather.IshowittoMorriewiththeprideofaLittleLeaguerroundingthebasesonhisfirsthomerun.CongratulationsMorriesays.IgrinasheleafsthroughitandIglan__aroundhisoffi__.Theshelvesofbooksthehardwoodfloorthethrowrugthecouch.IthinktomyselfthatIh__esatjustabouteverywherethereistositinthisroom.IdontknowMitchMorriemusesadjustinghisglassesashereadswithworklikethiswe__yh__etogetyoubackhereforgradschool.YeahrightIsay.Isnicker(窃笑)buttheideaismomentarilyappealing.Partofmeisscaredofle__ingschool.Partofmewantstogodesperately.Tensionofopposites.IwatchMorrieashereadsmythesisandwonderwhatthebigworldwillbelikeoutthere.TheAudiovisualPartTwo♥TheNightlineshowhaddoneafollow-upstoryonMorrie—partlybecausethere__ptionforthefirstshowhadbeensostrong.Thistimewhenthecameramenandprodu__rscamethroughthedoortheyalreadyfeltlikefamily.AndKoppelhimselfwasnoti__ablywarmer.Therewasnofeeling-out(试探出)pro__ssnointerviewbeforetheinterview.Aswarm-upKoppelandMorrieexchangedstoriesabouttheirchildhoodbackgrounds:KoppelspokeofgrowingupinEnglandandMorriespokeofgrowingupintheBronx.Morrieworealong-sleevedblueshirt—hewasalmostalwayschillyevenwhenitwasninetydegreesoutside—butKoppelremovedhisjacketanddidtheinterviewinshirtandtie.ItwasasifMorriewerebreakinghimdownonelayeratatime.YoulookfineKoppelsaidwhenthetapebegantoroll.Thatswhateverybody____smeMorriesaid.Yousoundfine.Thatswhateverybody____sme.SohowdoyouknowthingsaregoingdownhillMorriesighed.NobodycanknowitbutmeTed.ButIknowit.Andashespokeitbecameobvious.Hewasnotw__inghishandsto__keapointasfreelyashehadintheirfirstconversation.Hehadtroublepronouncing__rtainwords—the1soundseemedtogetcaughtinhisthroat.Inafewmoremonthshemightnolongerspeakatall.HereshowmyemotionsgoMorrietoldKoppel.WhenIh__epeopleandfriendshereImveryup.Thelovingrelationships__intainme.ButtherearedayswhenIamdepressed.Letmenotde__iveyou.Isee__rtainthingsgoingandIfeelasenseofdread.WhatamIgoingtodowithoutmyhandsWhathappenswhenIcantspeakSwallowingIdontcaresomuchabout—sotheyfeedmethroughatubesowhatButmyvoi__MyhandsTheyresuchanessentialpartofme.Italkwithmyvoi__.Igesturewithmyhands.ThisishowIgivetopeople.HowwillyougivewhenyoucannolongerspeakKoppelasked.Morrieshrugged.__ybeIllh__eeveryoneaskmeyesornoquestions.Itwassucha______answerthatKoppelhadto__ile.HeaskedMorrieaboutsilen__.HementionedadearfriendMorriehad__urieSteinwhohadfirstsentMorriesaphori__stotheBostonGlobe.TheyhadbeentogetheratBrandeissin__theearlysixties.NowSteinwasgoingdeaf.Koppeli__ginedthetwomentogetheronedayoneunabletospeaktheotherunabletohear.WhatwouldthatbelikeWewillholdhandsMorriesaid.Andtherellbealotoflovepassingbetweenus.Tedwevehadthirty-fiveyearsoffriendship.Youdontneedspeechorhearingtofeelthat.BeforetheshowendedMorriereadKoppeloneofthelettershedre__ived.Sin__thefirstNightlineprogramtherehadbeenagreatdealof__il.OneparticularlettercamefromaschoolteacherinPennsylvaniawhotaughtaspecialclassofninechildren;everychildintheclasshadsufferedthedeathofaparent.HereswhatIsentherbackMorrietoldKoppelperching(就位)hisglassesgingerlyonhisnoseandears.“‘DearBarbara...Iwasverymovedbyyourletter.Ifeeltheworkyouh__edonewiththechildrenwhoh__elostaparentisveryimportant.Ialsolostaparentatanearlyage…’”.SuddenlywiththecamerasstillhummingMorrieadjustedtheglasses.Hestoppedbithislipandbegantochokeup.Tearsfelldownhisnose.IlostmymotherwhenIwasachild...anditwasquiteablowtome...IwishIdhadagrouplikeyourswhereIwouldh__ebeenabletotalkaboutmysorrows.Iwouldh__ejoinedyourgroupbecause...’Hisvoi__cracked.‘...becauseIwassolonely…’”MorrieKoppelsaidthatwasseventyyearsagoyourmother___d.ThepainstillgoesonYoubetMorriewhispered.TheProfessor♥Hewaseightyearsold.Atelegramcamefromthehospitalandsin__hisfatheraRussianimmigrantcouldnotreadEnglishMorriehadtobreakthenewsreadinghismothersdeathnoti__likeastudentinfrontoftheclass.Weregrettoinformyou...hebegan.OnthemorningofthefuneralMorriesrelativescamedownthestepsofhistenement(__)buildingonthepoorLowerEastSideof__nhattan.Themenworedarksuitsthewomenworeveils.Thekidsinthenei___orhoodweregoingofftoschoolandastheypassedMorrielookeddownashamedthathisclas__ateswouldseehimthisway.Oneofhisauntsahe__yset(体格魁梧的)wo__ngrabbedMorrieandbegantowail(哀叹):WhatwillyoudowithoutyourmotherWhatwillbecomeofyouMorrieburstintotears.Hisclas__atesranaway.Atthe__metery(墓地)Morriewatchedastheyshoveleddirtintohismothersgr__e.Hetriedtorecallthetendermomentstheyhadsharedwhenshewasalive.Shehadoperatedacandystoreuntilshegotsickafterwhichshemostlysleptorsatbythewindowlookingfrail(虚弱的)andweak.SometimesshewouldyelloutforhersontogethersomemedicineandyoungMorrieplayingstickballinthestreetwouldpretendhedidnothearher.Inhismindhebelievedhecould__ketheillnessgoawaybyignoringit.HowelsecanachildconfrontdeathMorriesfatherwhomeveryonecalledCharliehadcometoAmericatoescapetheRussianArmy.Heworkedinthefurbusinessbutwasconstantlyoutofajob.UneducatedandbarelyabletospeakEnglishhewasterriblypoorandthefamilywasonpublicassistan__muchofthetime.Theirapartmentwasadarkcrampeddepressingpla__behindthecandystore.Theyhadnoluxuries.Nocar.Sometimesto__kemoneyMorrieandhisyoungerbrotherD__idwouldwashporchstepstogetherforanickel(五分硬币).Aftertheirmothersdeaththetwoboysweresentofftoa__allhotelintheConnecticutwoodswhereseveralfamiliessharedalargecabinandacommunalkitchen.Thefreshairmightbegoodforthechildrentherelativesthought.MorrieandD__idhadneverseensomuchgreeneryandtheyranandplayedinthefields.Onenightafterdinnertheywentforawalkanditbegantorain.Ratherthancomeinsidetheysplashedaroundforhours.ThenextmorningwhentheyawokeMorriehoppedoutofbed.Comeonhesaidtohisbrother.Getup.Icant.WhatdoyoumeanD__idsfa__waspanicked.Icant...move.Hehadpolio(小儿麻痹症).Ofcoursetheraindidnotcausethis.ButachildMorriesagecouldnotunderstandthat.Foralongtime—ashisbrotherwastakenbackandforthtoaspecialmedicalhomeandwasfor__dtowearbra__sonhislegswhichlefthimlimping—Morriefeltresponsible.Sointhemorningshewenttosynagogue(犹太教会堂)—byhimselfbecausehisfatherwasnotareligious__n—andhestoodamongtheswayingmenintheirlongblackcoatsandheaskedGodtotakecareofhisdeadmotherandhissickbrother.Andintheafternoonshestoodatthebottomofthesubwaystepsandhawked(沿街叫卖)__gazinesturningwhatevermoneyhe__deovertohisfamilytobuyfood.Intheeveningshewatchedhisfathereatinsilen__hopingfor—butnevergettingashowofaffectioncommunicationwarmth.Atnineyearsoldhefeltasiftheweightofamountainwereonhisshoulders.♥Butas__ingembra__cameintoMorrieslifethefollowingyear:hisnewstepmotherEva.ShewasashortRo__nianimmigrantwithplainfeaturescurlybrownhairandtheenergyoftwowomen.Shehadaglowthatwarmedtheotherwisemurky(黑暗的)atmospherehisfathercreated.Shetalkedwhenhernewhu__andwassilentshesangsongstothechildrenatnight.Morrietookcomfortinhersoothingvoi__herschoollessonsherstrongcharacter.Whenhisbrotherreturnedfromthemedicalhomestillwearinglegbra__sfromthepoliothetwoofthemsharedarollawaybedinthekitchenoftheirapartmentandEvawouldkissthemgood-night.Morriewaitedonthosekisseslikeapuppywaitsonmilkandhefeltdeepdownthathehadamotheragain.Therewasnoescapingtheirpovertyhowever.TheylivednowintheBronxinaone-bedroomapartmentinaredbrickbuildingonTremont__enuenexttoanItalianbeergardenwheretheoldmenplayedboccie(室外地滚球戏)onsummerevenings.BecauseoftheDepressionMorriesfatherfoundevenlessworkinthefurbusiness.SometimeswhenthefamilysatatthedinnertableallEvacouldputoutwasbread.WhatelseisthereD__idwouldask.Nothingelseshewouldanswer.WhenshetuckedMorrieandD__idintobedshewouldsingtotheminYiddish.Eventhesongsweresadandpoor.Therewasoneaboutagirltryingtosellhercigarettes:Pleasebuymycigarettes.Theyaredrynotwetbyrain.Takepityonmetakepityonme.Stilldespitetheircircumstan__sMorriewastaughttoloveandtocare.Andtolearn.Evawouldac__ptnothinglessthanex__llen__inschoolbecauseshesaweducationastheonlyantidote(解毒剂)totheirpoverty.SheherselfwenttonightschooltoimproveherEnglish.Morriesloveforeducationwashatchedinherarms.Hestu___datnightbythelampatthekitchentable.AndinthemorningshewouldgotosynagoguetosayYizkor—thememorialprayerforthedead—forhismother.Hedidthistokeephermemoryalive.IncrediblyMorriehadbeentoldbyhisfathernevertotalkabouther.CharliewantedyoungD__idtothinkEvawashisnaturalmother.ItwasaterribleburdentoMorrie.Foryearstheonlyeviden__Morriehadofhismotherwasthetelegramannouncingherdeath.Hehadhiddenitthedayitarrived.Hewouldkeepittherestofhislife.♥WhenMorriewasateenagerhisfathertookhimtoafurfactorywhereheworked.ThiswasduringtheDepression.TheideawastogetMorrieajob.Heenteredthefactoryandimmediatelyfeltasifthewallshadclosedinaroundhim.Theroomwasdarkandhotthewindowscoveredwithfilth(污秽)andthe__chineswerepackedtightlytogetherchurningliketrainwheels.Thefurhairswereflyingcreatingathickenedairandtheworkerssewingthepelts(毛皮)togetherwerebentovertheirneedlesastheboss__rchedupanddowntherowsscreamingforthemtogofaster.Morriecouldbarelybreathe.Hestoodnexttohisfatherfrozenwithfearhopingthebosswouldntscreamathimtoo.DuringlunchbreakhisfathertookMorrietothebossandpushedhiminfrontofhimaskingiftherewasanyworkforhisson.Buttherewasbarelyenoughworkforthe_____laborersandnoonewasgivingitup.ThisforMorriewasablessing.Hehatedthepla__.He__deanothervowthathekepttotheendofhislife:hewouldneverdoanyworkthatexploitedsomeoneelseandhewouldneverallowhimselfto__kemoneyoffthesweatofothers.WhatwillyoudoEvawouldaskhim.Idontknowhewouldsay.Heruledoutlawbecausehedidntlikelawyersandheruledoutmedicinebecausehecouldnttakethesightofblood.WhatwillyoudoItwasonlythroughdefaultthatthebestprofessorIeverhadbecameateacher.Ateacheraffectseternity;hecannever____wherehisinfluen__stops.--HenryAdamsTheFourthTuesdayWeTalkAboutDeath♥LetsbeginwiththisideaMorriesaid.Everyoneknowstheyregoingto___butnobodybelievesit.HewasinabusinesslikemoodthisTuesday.Thesu__ectwasdeaththefirstitemonmylist.BeforeIarrivedMorriehadscribbledafewnoteson__allwhitepie__sofpapersothathewouldntforget.Hisshakyhandwritingwasnowindecipherable(难辨认的)toeveryonebuthim.ItwasalmostLaborDayandthroughtheoffi__windowIcouldseethespinach-coloredhedgesofthebackyardandheartheyellsofchildrenplayingdownthestreettheirlastweekof_______beforeschoolbegan.BackinDetroitthenewspaperstrikersweregearingupforahugeholidaydemonstrationtoshowthesolidarityofunionsagainst__nagement.OntheplanerideinIhadreadaboutawo__nwhohadshotherhu__andandtwodaughtersastheylaysleepingclaimingshewasprotectingthemfromthebadpeople.InCaliforniathelawyersinthe
0.J.Simpsontrialwerebecominghuge__lebrities.HereinMorriesoffi__lifewentononepreciousdayatatime.Nowwesattogetherafewfeetfromthenewestadditiontothehouse:anoxygen__chine.Itwas__allandportableaboutknee-high.OnsomenightswhenhecouldntgetenoughairtoswallowMorrieattachedthelongplastictubingtohisnoseclampingonhisnostrilslikealeech(水蛭).IhatedtheideaofMorrieconnectedtoa__chineofanykindandItriednottolookatitasMorriespoke.Everyoneknowstheyregoingto___hesaidagainbutnobodybelievesit.Ifwedidwewoulddothingsdifferently.SowekidourselvesaboutdeathIsaid.Yes.Buttheresabetterapproach.Toknowyouregoingto___andtobepreparedforitatanytime.Thatsbetter.Thatwayyoucanactuallybemoreinvolvedinyourlifewhileyoureliving.Howcanyoueverbepreparedto___DowhattheBuddhistsdo.Everydayh__ealittlebirdonyourshoulderthatasksIstodaythedayAmIreadyAmIdoingallIneedtodoAmIbeingthepersonIwanttobeHeturnedhisheadtohisshoulderasifthebirdweretherenow.IstodaythedayI___hesaid.Morrieborrowedfreelyfromallreligions.HewasbornJewishbutbecameanagnostic(不可知论者)whenhewasateenagerpartlybecauseofallthathadhappenedtohimasachild.HeenjoyedsomeofthephilosophiesofBuddhi__andChristianityandhestillfeltathomeculturallyinJudai__.Hewasareligiousmutt(愚人)which__dehimevenmoreopentothestudentshetaughtovertheyears.Andthethingshewassayinginhisfinalmonthsonearthseemedtotrans__ndallreligiousdifferen__s.Deathhasawayofdoingthat.ThetruthisMitchhesaidon__youlearnhowto___youlearnhowtolive.Inodded.Imgoingtosayitagainhesaid.On__youlearnhowto___youlearnhowtolive.He__iledandIrealizedwhathewasdoing.Hewas__kingsureIabsorbedthispointwithoutembarrassingmebyasking.Itwaspartofwhat__dehimagoodteacher.DidyouthinkmuchaboutdeathbeforeyougotsickIasked.No.Morrie__iled.Iwaslikeeveryoneelse.Ion__toldafriendofmineinamomentofexuberan__(健康)Imgonnabethehealthiestold__nyouevermet!HowoldwereyouInmysixties.Soyouwereoptimistic.WhynotLikeIsaidnoonereallybelievestheyregoingto___.Buteveryoneknowssomeonewhohas___dIsaid.WhyisitsohardtothinkaboutdyingBecauseMorriecontinuedmostofusallwalkaroundasifweresleepwalking.Wereallydontexperien__theworldfullybecausewerehalf-asleepdoingthingsweauto__ticallythinkweh__etodo.AndfacingdeathchangesallthatOhyes.Youstripawayallthatstuffandyoufocusontheessentials.Whenyourealizeyouaregoingto___youseeeverythingmuchdifferently.Hesighed.Learnhowto___andyoulearnhowtolive.Inoti__dthathequivered(颤抖)nowwhenhemovedhishands.Hisglasseshungaroundhisneckandwhenheliftedthemtohiseyestheyslidaroundhistemplesasifheweretryingtoputthemonsomeoneelseinthedark.Ireachedovertohelpguidethemontohisears.ThankyouMorriewhispered.He__iledwhenmyhandbrushedupagainsthishead.Theslightesthu__ncontactwasimmediatejoy.Mitch.CanI____yousomethingOfcourseIsaid.Youmightnotlikeit.WhynotWellthetruthisifyoureallylistentothatbirdonyourshoulderifyouac__ptthatyoucan___atanytime—thenyoumightnotbeasambitiousasyouare.Ifor__da__allgrin.Thethingsyouspendsomuchtimeon—allthisworkyoudo—mightnotseemasimportant.Youmighth__eto__keroomforsomemorespiritualthings.SpiritualthingsYouhatethatworddontyouSpiritual.Youthinkitstouchy-feelystuff.WellIsaid.HetriedtowinkabadtryandIbrokedownandlaughed.MitchhesaidlaughingalongevenIdontknowwhatspiritualdevelopmentreallymeans.ButIdoknowweredeficientinsomeway.Wearetooinvolvedin__terialisticthingsandtheydontsatisfyus.Thelovingrelationshipsweh__etheuniversearounduswetakethesethingsforgranted.Henoddedtowardthewindowwiththesunshinestreamingin.YouseethatYoucangooutthereoutsideanytime.Youcanrunupanddowntheblockandgocrazy.Icantdothat.Icantgoout.Icantrun.Icantbeouttherewithoutfearofgettingsick.ButyouknowwhatIappreciatethatwindowmorethanyoudo.AppreciateitYes.Ilookoutthatwindoweveryday.Inoti__thechangeinthetreeshowstrongthewindisblowing.ItsasifIcanseetimeactuallypassingthroughthatwindowpane.BecauseIknowmytimeisalmostdoneIamdrawntonaturelikeImseeingitforthefirsttime.Hestoppedandforamomentwebothjustlookedoutthewindow.Itriedtoseewhathesaw.Itriedtoseetimeandseasonsmylifepassinginslowmotion.Morriedroppedhisheadslightlyandcurledittowardhisshoulder.Isittodaylittlebirdheasked.Isittoday♥LettersfromaroundtheworldkeptcomingtoMorriethankstotheNightlineappearan__s.Hewouldsitwhenhewasuptoitanddictatetheresponsestofriendsandfamilywhogatheredfortheirletter-writingsessions.OneSundaywhenhissonsRobandJonwerehometheyallgatheredinthelivingroom.Morriesatinhiswheelchairhisskinnylegsunderablanket.Whenhegotcoldoneofhishelpersdrapedanylonjacketoverhisshoulders.WhatsthefirstletterMorriesaid.Acolleaguereadanotefromawo__nnamedNancywhohadlosthermothertoALS.ShewrotetosayhowmuchshehadsufferedthroughthelossandhowsheknewthatMorriemustbesufferingtoo.AllrightMorriesaidwhenthereadingwascomplete.Heshuthiseyes.LetsstartbysayingDearNancyyoutouchedmeverymuchwithyourstoryaboutyourmother.AndIunderstandwhatyouwentthrough.Thereissadnessandsufferingonbothparts.GrievinghasbeengoodformeandIhopeithasbeengoodforyoualso.YoumightwanttochangethatlastlineRobsaid.MorriethoughtforasecondthensaidYoureright.HowaboutIhopeyoucanfindthehealingpoweringrieving.IsthatbetterRobnodded.AddthankyouMorrieMorriesaid.Anotherletterwasreadfromawo__nnamedJanewhowasthankinghimforhisinspirationontheNightlineprogram.Shereferredtohimasaprophet.Thatsaveryhighcomplimentsaidacolleague.Aprophet.Morrie__deafa__.Heobviouslydidntagreewiththeasses__ent.Letsthankherforherhighpraise.And____herImgladmywordsmeantsomethingtoher.AnddontforgettosignThankyouMorrie.Therewasaletterfroma__ninEnglandwhohadlosthismotherandaskedMorrietohelphimcontactherthroughthespiritualworld.TherewasaletterfromacouplewhowantedtodrivetoBostontomeethim.Therewasalongletterfromaformergraduatestudentwhowroteaboutherlifeaftertheuniversity.Ittoldofamurder-_______andthreestillborn(死产的)births.Ittoldofamotherwho___dfromALS.Itexpressedfearthatshethedaughterwouldalsocontractthedisease.Itwentonandon.Twopages.Threepages.Fourpages.Morriesatthroughthelonggrimtale.WhenitwasfinallyfinishedhesaidsoftlyWellwhatdoweanswerThegroupwasquiet.FinallyRobsaidHowabout`ThanksforyourlongletterEveryonelaughed.Morrielookedathissonandbeamed.ThenewspapernearhischairhasaphotoofaBostonbaseballplayerwhois__ilingafterpitchingashutout.OfallthediseasesIthinktomyself;Morriegetsonenamedafteranathlete.YourememberLouGehrigIaskIrememberhiminthestadiumsayinggood-bye.Soyourememberthefamousline.WhichoneComeon.LouGehrig.PrideoftheYankeesThespeechthatechoesovertheloudspeakersRemindmeMorriesays.Dothespeech.ThroughtheopenwindowIhearthesoundofagarbagetruck.AlthoughitishotMorrieiswearinglongsleeveswithablanketoverhislegshisskinpale.Thediseaseownshim.Iraisemyvoi__anddotheGehrigimitationwherethewordsboun__offthestadiumwalls:Too-dayyy...Ifeeellike...theluckiest__aaan...onthefa__oftheearth…”Morriecloseshiseyesandnodsslowly.Yeah.Well.Ididntsaythat.TheFifthTuesdayWeTalkAboutFamily♥ItwasthefirstweekinSeptemberback-to-schoolweekandafterthirty-fiveconsecutive(连续的)autumnsmyoldprofessordidnoth__eaclasswaitingforhimonacollegecampus.Bostonwasteemingwithstudentsdouble-parkedonsidestreetsunloadingtrunks.AndherewasMorrieinhisstudy.Itseemedwronglikethosefootballplayerswhofinallyretireandh__etofa__thatfirstSundayathomewatchingonTVthinkingIcouldstilldothat.Ih__elearnedfromdealingwiththoseplayersthatitisbesttole__ethemalonewhentheiroldseasonscomearound.Dontsayanything.ButthenIdidntneedtoremindMorrieofhisdwindlingtime.Forourtapedconversationswehadswitchedfromhandheldmicrophones—becauseitwastoodifficultnowforMorrietoholdanythingthatlong—tothel__aliere(垂饰的一种)kindpopularwithTVnewspeople.Youcancliptheseontoacollarorlapel(翻领).Ofcoursesin__Morrieonlyworesoftcottonshirtsthathunglooselyonhisever-shrinkingframethemicrophonesaggedandfloppedandIhadtoreachoverandadjustitfrequently.Morrieseemedtoenjoythisbecauseitbroughtmeclosetohiminhuggingrangeandhisneedforphysicalaffectionwasstrongerthanever.WhenIleanedinIheardhiswheezingbreathandhisweakcoughingandhe__acked(拍打)hislipssoftlybeforeheswallowed.WellmyfriendhesaidwhatarewetalkingabouttodayHowaboutfamilyFamily.Hemulled(深思)itoverforamoment.Wellyouseemineallaroundme.HenoddedtophotosonhisbookshelvesofMorrieasachildwithhisgrandmother;Morrieasayoung__nwithhisbrotherD__id;MorriewithhiswifeCharlotte;MorriewithhistwosonsRobajournalistinTokyoandJonacomputerexpertinBoston.Ithinkinlightofwhatwevebeentalkingaboutalltheseweeksfamilybecomesevenmoreimportanthesaid.Thefactisthereisnofoundationnosecuregrounduponwhichpeople__ystandtodayifitisntthefamily.ItsbecomequitecleartomeasIvebeensick.Ifyoudonth__ethesupportandloveandcaringandcon__rnthatyougetfromafamilyyoudonth__emuchatall.Loveissosupremelyimportant.AsourgreatpoetAudensaidLoveeachotherorperish(毁灭).Loveeachotherorperish.Iwroteitdown.AudensaidthatLoveeachotherorperishMorriesaid.ItsgoodnoAnditssotrue.Withoutlovewearebirdswithbrokenwings.SayIwasdivor__dorlivingaloneorhadnochildren.Thisdisease—whatImgoingthrough—wouldbesomuchharder.ImnotsureIcoulddoit.Surepeoplewouldcomevisitfriendsassociatesbutitsnotthesameash__ingsomeonewhowillnotle__e.Itsnotthesameash__ingsomeonewhomyouknowhasaneyeonyouiswatchingyouthewholetime.Thisispartofwhatafamilyisaboutnotjustlovebutlettingothersknowtheressomeonewhoiswatchingoutforthem.ItswhatImissedsomuchwhenmymother___d—whatIcallyourspiritualsecurity—knowingthatyourfamilywillbetherewatchingoutforyou.Nothingelsewillgiveyouthat.Notmoney.Notfame.Heshotmealook.Notworkheadded.Raisingafamilywasoneofthoseissuesonmylittlelist—thingsyouwanttogetrightbeforeitstoolate.ItoldMorrieaboutmygenerationsdilem__withh__ingchildrenhowweoftensawthemastyingusdown__kingusintotheseparentthingsthatwedidnotwanttobe.Iadmittedtosomeoftheseemotionsmyself.YetwhenIlookedatMorrieIwonderedifIwereinhisshoesaboutto___andIhadnofamilynochildrenwouldtheemptinessbeunbearableHehadraisedhistwosonstobelovingandcaringandlikeMorrietheywerenotshywiththeiraffection.Hadhesodesiredtheywouldh__estoppedwhattheyweredoingtobewiththeirfathereveryminuteofhisfinalmonths.Butthatwasnotwhathewanted.Donotstopyourliveshetoldthem.Otherwisethisdiseasewillh__eruinedthreeofusinsteadofone.Inthiswayevenashewasdyingheshowedrespectforhischildrensworlds.Littlewonderthatwhentheysatwithhimtherewasawate___llofaffectionlotsofkissesandjokesandcrouching(蜷缩)bythesideofthebedholdinghands.Wheneverpeopleaskmeabouth__ingchildrenornoth__ingchildrenInever____themwhattodoMorriesaidnowlookingataphotoofhisoldestson.IsimplysayThereisnoexperien__likeh__ingchildren.Thatsall.Thereisnosubstituteforit.Youcannotdoitwithafriend.Youcannotdoitwithalover.Ifyouwanttheexperien__ofh__ingcompleteresponsibilityforanotherhu__nbeingandtolearnhowtoloveandbondinthedeepestwaythenyoushouldh__echildren.SoyouwoulddoitagainIasked.Iglan__datthephoto.RobwaskissingMorrieontheforeheadandMorriewaslaughingwithhiseyesclosed.WouldIdoitagainhesaidtomelookingsurprised.MitchIwouldnoth__emissedthatexperien__foranything.Eventhough...Heswallowedandputthepictureinhislap.Eventhoughthereisapainfulpri__topayhesaid.Becauseyoullbele__ingthem.BecauseIllbele__ingthemsoon.HepulledhislipstogetherclosedhiseyesandIwatchedthefirstteardropfalldownthesideofhischeek.♥Andnowhewhisperedyoutalk.MeYourfamily.Iknowaboutyourparents.Imetthemyearsagoatgraduation.Youh__easistertoorightYesIsaid.OlderyesOlder.AndonebrotherrightInodded.YoungerYounger.LikemeMorriesaid.Ih__eayoungerbrother.LikeyouIsaid.HealsocametoyourgraduationdidntheIblinkedandinmymindIsawusalltheresixteenyearsearlierthehotsunthebluerobessquinting(斜视)asweputourarmsaroundeachotherandposedforInsta__tic(傻瓜相机)photossomeonesayingOnetwothreeee...WhatisitMorriesaidnoticingmysuddenquiet.WhatsonyourmindNothingIsaidchangingthesu__ect.♥ThetruthisIdoindeedh__eabrotherablond-hairedhazel-eyed(淡褐色眼睛)two-years-youngerbrotherwholookssounlikemeormydark-hairedsisterthatweusedtoteasehimbyclaimingstrangershadlefthimasababyonourdoorstep.Andonedaywedsaytheyrecomingbacktogetyou.Hecriedwhenwesaidthisbutwesaiditjustthesame.Hegrewuptheway__nyyoungestchildrengrowuppampered(饮食过量的)adoredandinwardlytortured.Hedreamedofbeinganactororasinger;hereenactedTVshowsatthedinnertableplayingeveryparthisbright__ilepracticallyjumpingthroughhislips.Iwasthegoodstudenthewasthebad;Iwasobe___nthebroketherules;Istayedawayfromdrugsandalcoholhetriedeverythingyoucouldingest(咽下).HemovedtoEuropenotlongafterhighschoolpreferringthemorecasuallifestylehefoundthere.Yethere__inedthefamilyf__orite.Whenhevisitedhomeinhiswildandfunnypresen__Ioftenfeltstiffandconservative.AsdifferentaswewereIreasonedthatourfateswouldshootinoppositedirectionson__wehit_____hood.Iwasrightinallwaysbutone.Fromthedaymyuncle___dIbelievedthatIwouldsufferasimilardeathanuntimelydiseasethatwouldtakemeout.SoIworkedatafeverishpa__andIbra__dmyselfforcan__r.Icouldfeelitsbreath.Iknewitwascoming.Iwaitedforitthewayacondemned__nwaitsfortheexecutioner(执行死刑的人).AndIwasright.Itcame.Butitmissedme.Itstruckmybrother.Thesametypeofcan__rasmyuncle.Thepancreas.Arareform.Andsotheyoungestofourfamilywiththeblondhairandthehazeleyeshadthechemotherapy(化疗)andtheradiation.Hishairfellouthisfa__wentgauntasaskeleton.ItssupposedtobemeIthought.Butmybrotherwasnotmeandhewasnotmyuncle.Hewasafighterandhadbeensin__hisyoungestdayswhenwewrestledinthebasementandheactuallybitthroughmyshoeuntilIscreamedinpainandlethimgo.Andsohefoughtback.HebattledthediseaseinSpainwherehelivedwiththeaidofanexperimentaldrugthatwasnot—andstillisnot—__ailableintheUnitedStates.HeflewalloverEuropefortreatments.Afterfiveyearsoftreatmentthedrugappearedtochasethecan__rintoremission.Thatwasthegoodnews.Thebadnewswasmybrotherdidnotwantmearound—notmenoranyoneinthefamily.Muchaswetriedtocallandvisitheheldusatbayinsistingthisfightwassomethingheneededtodobyhimself.Monthswouldpasswithoutawordfromhim.Messagesonhisanswering__chinewouldgowithoutreply.IwasrippedwithguiltforwhatIfeltIshouldbedoingforhimandfueledwithangerforhisdenyingustherighttodoit.Soon__againIdoveintowork.IworkedbecauseIcouldcontrolit.Iworkedbecauseworkwassensibleandresponsive.AndeachtimeIwouldcallmybrothersapartmentinSpainandgettheanswering__chine—himspeakinginSpanishanothersignofhowfarapartwehaddrifted—Iwouldhangupandworksomemore.PerhapsthisisonereasonIwasdrawntoMorrie.Heletmebewheremybrotherwouldnot.LookingbackperhapsMorrieknewthisallalong.Itisawinterinmychildhoodonasnow-packedhillinoursuburbannei___orhood.MybrotherandIareonthesledhimontopmeonthebottom.Ifeelhischinonmyshoulderandhisfeetonthebacksofmyknees.Thesledrumbles(辘辘行驶)onicypatchesbeneathus.Wepickupspeedaswedes__ndthehill.CAR!someoneyells.Weseeitcomingdownthestreettoourleft.Wescreamandtrytosteerawaybuttherunnersdonotmove.Thedriverslamshishornandhitshisbrakesandwedowhatallkidsdo:wejumpoff.Inourhoodedparkas(有帽子的大衣)werolllikelogsdownthecoldwetsnowthinkingthenextthingtotouchuswillbethehardrubberofacartire.WeareyellingAHHHHHHandwearetinglingwithfearturningoverandovertheworldupsidedownrightsideupupsidedown.Andthennothing.Westoprollingandcatchourbreathandwipethedrippingsnowfromourfa__s.Thedriverturnsdownthestreetwagginghisfinger.Wearesafe.Oursledhasthuddedquietlyintoasnowbank路边的雪堤andourfriendsareslappingusnowsayingCoolandYoucouldh__e___d.Igrinatmybrotherandweareunitedbychildishpride.Thatwasntsohardwethinkandwearereadytotakeondeathagain.TheSixthTuesdayWeTalkAboutEmotions♥Iwalkedpastthemountainlaurels(月桂树)andtheJapanese__pleupthebluestonestepsofMorrieshouse.Thewhiteraingutter(排水沟)hunglikealidoverthedoorway.IrangthebellandwasgreetednotbyConniebutbyMorrieswifeCharlotteabeautifulgray-hairedwo__nwhospokeinaliltingvoi__.ShewasnotoftenathomewhenIcameby—shecontinuedworkingatMITasMorriewished—andIwassurprisedthismorningtoseeher.Morriesh__ingabitofahardtimetodayshesaid.Shestaredovermyshoulderforamomentthenmovedtowardthekitchen.ImsorryIsaid.Nonohellbehappytoseeyoushesaidquickly.Imsure...Shestoppedinthemiddleofthesenten__turningherheadslightlylisteningforsomething.Thenshecontinued.Imsure...hellfeelbetterwhenheknowsyourehere.Iliftedupthebagsfromthe__rket—mynor__lfoodsupplyIsaidjokingly—andsheseemedto__ileandfret(焦急)atthesametime.Theresalreadysomuchfood.Hehasnteatenanyfromlasttime.Thistookmebysurprise.HehasnteatenanyIaskedSheopenedtherefrigeratorandIsawfamiliarcontainersofchickensaladvermi__llivegetablesstuffedsquashallthingsIhadbroughtforMorrie.Sheopenedthefreezerandtherewasevenmore.Morriecanteatmostofthisfood.Itstoohardforhimtoswallow.Hehastoeatsoftthingsandliquiddrinksnow.ButheneversaidanythingIsaid.Charlotte__iled.Hedoesntwanttohurtyourfeelings.Itwouldnth__ehurtmyfeelings.Ijustwantedtohelpinsomeway.ImeanIjustwantedtobringhimsomething...Youarebringinghimsomething.Helooksforwardtoyourvisits.Hetalksabouth__ingtodothisprojectwithyouhowhehastocon__ntrateandputthetimeaside.Ithinkitsgivinghimagoodsenseofpurpose...Againsheg__ethatfaraway(恍惚的)lookthetuning-in-something-from-somewhere-else.IknewMorriesnightswerebecomingdifficultthathedidntsleepthroughthemandthatmeantCharlotteoftendidnotsleepthroughthemeither.SometimesMorriewouldlieawakecoughingforhours—itwouldtakethatlongtogetthephlegm(痰)fromhisthroat.Therewerehealthcareworkersnowstayingthroughthenightandallthosevisitorsduringthedayformerstudentsfellowprofessorsmeditationteacherstrampinginandoutofthehouse.OnsomedaysMorriehadahalfadozenvisitorsandtheywereoftentherewhenCharlottereturnedfromwork.Shehandleditwithpatien__eventhoughalltheseoutsidersweresoakingupherpreciousminuteswithMorrie....asenseofpurposeshecontinued.Yes.Thatsgoodyouknow.IhopesoIsaid.Ihelpedputthenewfoodinsidetherefrigerator.Thekitchencounterhadallkindsofnotesmessagesinfor__tionmedicalinstructions.Thetableheldmorepillbottlesthanever—Selestoneforhisasth__Ativantohelphimsleepnaproxenforinfections—alongwithapowderedmilkmixandlaxatives.Fromdownthehallweheardthesoundofadooropen.__ybehes__ailablenow...letmegocheck.Charlotteglan__dagainatmyfoodandIfeltsuddenlyashamed.AlltheseremindersofthingsMorriewouldneverenjoy.♥The__allhorrorsofhisillnessweregrowingandwhenIfinallysatdownwithMorriehewascoughingmorethanusualadrydustycoughthatshookhischestand__dehisheadjerkforward.Afteroneviolentsurgehestoppedclosedhiseyesandtookabreath.IsatquietlybecauseIthoughthewasrecoveringfromhisexertion.Isthetapeonhesaidsuddenlyhiseyesstillclosed.YesyesIquicklysaidpressingdowntheplayandrecordbuttons.WhatImdoingnowhecontinuedhiseyesstillclosedisdetachingmyselffromtheexperien__.DetachingyourselfYes.Detachingmyself.Andthisisimportant—notjustforsomeonelikemewhoisdyingbutforsomeonelikeyouwhoisperfectlyhealthy.Learntodetach.Heopenedhiseyes.Heexhaled.YouknowwhattheBuddhistssayDontclingtothingsbecauseeverythingisimper__nent.ButwaitIsaid.ArentyoualwaystalkingaboutexperiencinglifeAllthegoodemotionsallthebadonesYes.WellhowcanyoudothatifyouredetachedAh.YourethinkingMitch.Butdetachmentdoesntmeanyoudontlettheexperien__penetrateyou.Onthecontraryyouletitpenetrateyoufully.Thatshowyouareabletole__eit.Imlost.Takeanyemotion—loveforawo__norgriefforalovedoneorwhatImgoingthroughfearandpainfromadeadlyillness.Ifyouholdbackontheemotions—ifyoudontallowyourselftogoallthewaythroughthem—youcannevergettobeingdetachedyouretoobusybeingafraid.Youreafraidofthepainyoureafraidofthegrief.Youreafraidofthevulnerabilitythatlovingentails.Butbythrowingyourselfintotheseemotionsbyallowingyourselftodiveinallthewayoveryourheadevenyouexperien__themfullyandcompletely.Youknowwhatpainis.Youknowwhatloveis.Youknowwhatgriefis.AndonlythencanyousayAllright.Ih__eexperien__dthatemotion.Irecognizethatemotion.NowIneedtodetachfromthatemotionforamoment.Morriestoppedandlookedmeoverperhapsto__kesureIwasgettingthisright.IknowyouthinkthisisjustaboutdyinghesaidbutitslikeIkeep____ingyou.Whenyoulearnhowto___youlearnhowtolive.Morrietalkedabouthismostfearfulmomentswhenhefelthischestlockedinhe__ingsurgesorwhenhewasntsurewherehisnextbreathwouldcomefrom.Thesewerehorrifyingtimeshesaidandhisfirstemotionswerehorrorfearanxiety.Buton__herecognizedthefeelofthoseemotionstheirtexturetheirmoisturetheshiverdownthebackthequickflashofheatthatcrossesyourbrain—thenhewasabletosayOkay.Thisisfear.Stepawayfromit.Stepaway.Ithoughtabouthowoftenthiswasneededineverydaylife.Howwefeellonelysometimestothepointoftearsbutwedontletthosetearscomebecausewearenotsupposedtocry.Orhowwefeelasurgeofloveforapartnerbutwedontsayanythingbecausewerefrozenwiththefearofwhatthosewordsmightdototherelationship.Morriesapproachwasexactlytheopposite.Turnonthefau__t.Washyourselfwiththeemotion.Itwonthurtyou.Itwillonlyhelp.IfyouletthefearinsideifyoupullitonlikeafamiliarshirtthenyoucansaytoyourselfAllrightitsjustfearIdonth__etoletitcontrolme.Iseeitforwhatitis.Sameforloneliness:youletgoletthetearsflowfeelitcompletely—buteventuallybeabletosayAllrightthatwasmymomentwithloneliness.ImnotafraidoffeelinglonelybutnowImgoingtoputthatlonelinessasideandknowthatthereareotheremotionsintheworldandImgoingtoexperien__themaswell.DetachMorriesaidagain.Heclosedhiseyesthencoughed.Thenhecoughedagain.Thenhecoughedagainmoreloudly.Suddenlyhewashalf-chokingthecongestioninhislungsseeminglyteasinghimjumpinghalfwayupthendroppingbackdownstealinghisbreath.Hewasgaggingthenhackingviolentlyandheshookhishandsinfrontofhim—withhiseyesclosedshakinghishandsheappearedalmostpossessed—andIfeltmyforeheadbreakintoasweat.Iinstinctivelypulledhimforwardandslappedthebackofhisshouldersandhepushedatissuetohismouthandspitoutawadofphlegm.ThecoughingstoppedandMorriedroppedbackintothefoampillowsandsuckedinair.YouokayYouallrightIsaidtryingtohidemyfear.Im...okayMorriewhisperedraisingashakyfinger.Just...waitaminute.Wesattherequietlyuntilhisbreathingreturnedtonor__l.Ifelttheperspirationonmyscalp(头皮).Heaskedmetoclosethewindowthebreezewas__kinghimcold.Ididntmentionthatitwaseightydegreesoutside.FinallyinawhisperhesaidIknowhowIwantto___.Iwaitedinsilen__.Iwantto___serenely(安详地).Pea__fully.Notlikewhatjusthappened.Andthisiswheredetachmentcomesin.IfI___inthemiddleofacoughingspelllikeIjusthadIneedtobeabletodetachfromthehorrorIneedtosayThisismymoment.“Idon’twanttole__etheworldinastateoffright.Iwanttoknowwhat’shappeningac__ptitgettoapea__fulpla__andletgo.Doyouunderstand”Inodded.Don’tletgoyetIaddedquickly.Morriefor__da__ile.“No.Notyet.Westillh__eworktodo.”Doyoubelieveinreincarnation(再生)Iask.Perhaps.WhatwouldyoucomebackasIfIhadmychoi__agazelle(瞪羚).AgazelleYes.Sogra__ful.Sofast.AgazelleMorrie__ilesatme.YouthinkthatsstrangeIstudyhisshrunkenframethelooseclothesthesocks-wrappedfeetthatreststifflyonfoamrubbercushionsunabletomovelikeaprisonerinlegirons.Ipictureagazelleracingacrossthedesert.NoIsay.Idontthinkthatsstrangeatall.TheProfessorPartTwo♥TheMorrieIknewtheMorrieso__nyothersknewwouldnoth__ebeenthe__nhewaswithouttheyearshespentworkingatamentalhospitaljustoutsideWashingtonD.C.apla__withthede__ptivelypea__fulnameofChestnutLodge.ItwasoneofMorriesfirstjobsafterplowingthrougha__stersdegreeandaPh.D.fromtheUniversityofChicago.H__ingrejectedmedicinelawandbusinessMorriehaddecidedtheresearchworldwouldbeapla__wherehecouldcontributewithoutexploitingothers.Morriewasgivenagranttoobservementalpatientsandrecordtheirtreatments.Whiletheideaseemscommontodayitwasgroundbreakingintheearlyfifties.Morriesawpatientswhowouldscreamallday.Patientswhowouldcryallnight.Patientssoilingtheirunderwear.Patientsrefusingtoeath__ingtobehelddownmedicatedfedintr__enously(静脉__).Oneofthepatientsamiddle-agedwo__ncameoutofherroomeverydayandlayfa__downonthetilefloorstayedthereforhoursasdoctorsandnursessteppedaroundher.Morriewatchedinhorror.Hetooknoteswhichiswhathewastheretodo.Everydayshedidthesamething:cameoutinthemorninglayonthefloorstayedthereuntiltheeveningtalkingtonooneignoredbyeveryone.ItsaddenedMorrie.Hebegantositonthefloorwithherevenlaydownalongsidehertryingtodrawheroutofhermisery.Eventuallyhegothertositupandeventoreturntoherroom.Whatshemostlywantedhelearnedwasthesamething__nypeoplewant—someonetonoti__shewasthere.MorrieworkedatChestnutLodgeforfiveyears.Althoughitwasntencouragedhebefriendedsomeofthepatientsincludingawo__nwhojokedwithhimabouthowluckyshewastobetherebecausemyhu__andisrichsohecanaffordit.Canyoui__gineifIhadtobeinoneofthosecheapmentalhospitalsAnotherwo__n—whowouldspitateveryoneelse—tooktoMorrieandcalledhimherfriend.Theytalkedeachdayandthestaffwasatleastencouragedthatsomeonehadgottenthroughtoher.ButonedaysheranawayandMorriewasaskedtohelpbringherback.TheytrackedherdowninanearbystorehidinginthebackandwhenMorriewentinsheburnedanangrylookathim.Soyoureoneofthemtooshesnarled.OneofwhoMyjailers.Morrieobservedthatmostofthepatientstherehadbeenrejectedandignoredintheirlives__detofeelthattheydidntexist.Theyalsomissedcompassion—somethingthestaffranoutofquickly.And__nyofthesepatientswerewell-offfromrichfamiliessotheirwealthdidnotbuythemhappinessorcontentment.Itwasalessonheneverforgot.♥IusedtoteaseMorriethathewasstuckinthesixties.Hewouldanswerthatthesixtieswerentsobadcomparedtothetimeswelivedinnow.HecametoBrandeisafterhisworkinthementalhealthfieldjustbeforethesixtiesbegan.Withinafewyearsthecampusbecameahotbedforculturalrevolution.Drugs___ra__Vietnamprotests.AbbieHoff__nattendedBrandeis.SodidJerryRubinandAngelaD__is.Morriehad__nyoftheradicalstudentsinhisclasses.Thatwaspartlybecauseinsteadofsimplyteachingthesociologyfacultygotinvolved.Itwasfier__lyantiwarforexample.Whentheprofessorslearnedthatstudentswhodidnot__intaina__rtaingradepoint__eragecouldlosetheirdefermentsandbedraftedtheydecidednottogiveanygrades.WhentheadministrationsaidIfyoudontgivethesestudentsgradestheywillallfailMorriehadasolution:LetsgivethemallAs.Andtheydid.JustasthesixtiesopenedupthecampusitalsoopenedupthestaffinMorriesdepartmentfromthejeansandsandalstheynowworewhenworkingtotheirviewoftheclassroomasalivingbreathingpla__.Theychosediscussionsoverlecturesexperien__overtheory.TheysentstudentstotheDeepSouthforcivilrightsprojectsandtotheinnercityforfieldwork.TheywenttoWashingtonforprotest__rchesandMorrieoftenrodethebusseswithhisstudents.Ononetriphewatchedwithgentleamusementaswomeninflowingskirtsandlovebeadsputflowersinsol___rsgunsthensatonthelawnholdinghandstryingtolevitatethePentagon.Theydidntmoveithelaterrecalledbutitwasani__try.OnetimeagroupofblackstudentstookoverFordHallontheBrandeiscampusdrapingitinabannerthatreadMALCOLMXUNIVERSITY.FordHallhadchemistrylabsandsomeadministrationofficialsworriedthattheseradicalswere__kingbombsinthebasement.Morrieknewbetter.Hesawrighttothecoreoftheproblemwhichwashu__nbeingswantingtofeelthatthey__ttered.Thestandoff(冷淡)lastedforweeks.Anditmighth__egoneonevenlongerifMorriehadntbeenwalkingbythebuildingwhenoneoftheprotestersrecognizedhimasaf__oriteteacherandyelledforhimtocomeinthroughthewindow.AnhourlaterMorriecrawledoutthroughthewindowwithalistofwhattheprotesterswanted.Hetookthelisttotheuniversitypresidentandthesituationwasdiffused.Morriealways__degoodpea__.AtBrandeishetaughtclassesaboutsocialpsychologymentalillnessandhealthgrouppro__ss.Theywerelightonwhatyoudnowcallcareerskillsandhe__yonpersonaldevelopment.AndbecauseofthisbusinessandlawstudentstodaymightlookatMorrieasfoolishlynaïveabouthiscontributions.Howmuchmoneydidhisstudentsgoonto__keHow__nybig-timecasesdidtheywinThenagainhow__nybusinessorlawstudentsevervisittheiroldprofessorson__theyle__eMorriesstudentsdidthatallthetime.AndinhisfinalmonthstheycamebacktohimhundredsofthemfromBostonNewYorkCaliforniaLondonandSwitzerland;fromcorporateoffi__sandinnercityschoolprograms.Theycalled.Theywrote.Theydrovehundredsofmilesforavisitaworda__ile.Iveneverhadanotherteacherlikeyoutheyallsaid.AsmyvisitswithMorriegoonIbegintoreadaboutdeathhowdifferentculturesviewthefinalpassage.ThereisatribeintheNorthAmericanArcticforexamplewhobelievethatallthingsonearthh__easoulthatexistsinaminiatureformofthebodythatholdsit—sothatadeerhasatinydeerinsideitanda__nhasatiny__ninsidehim.Whenthelargebeing___sthattinyformliveson.Itcanslideintosomethingbeingbornnearbyoritcangotoatemporaryrestingpla__intheskyinthebellyofagreatfemininespiritwhereitwaitsuntilthemooncansenditbacktoearth.Sometimestheysaythemoonissobusywiththenewsoulsoftheworldthatitdisappearsfromthesky.Thatiswhyweh__emoonlessnights.Butintheendthemoonalwaysreturnsasdoweall.Thatiswhattheybelieve.TheSeventhTuesdayWeTalkAbouttheFearofAging♥Morrielosthisbattle.Someonewasnowwipinghisbehind.Hefa__dthiswithtypicallybr__eac__ptan__.NolongerabletoreachbehindhimwhenheusedthecommodeheinformedConnieofhislatestlimitation.WouldyoubeembarrassedtodoitformeShesaidno.Ifoundittypicalthatheaskedherfirst.IttooksomegettingusedtoMorrieadmittedbecauseitwasinawaycompletesurrendertothedisease.Themostpersonalandbasicthingshadnowbeentakenfromhim—goingtothebathroomwipinghisnosewashinghisprivateparts.Withtheex__ptionofbreathingandswallowinghisfoodhewasdependentonothersfornearlyeverything.IaskedMorriehowhe__nagedtostaypositivethroughthat.Mitchitsfunnyhesaid.Imanindependentpersonsomyinclinationwastofightallofthis—beinghelpedfromthecarh__ingsomeoneelsedressme.Ifeltalittleashamedbecauseourculture____susweshouldbeashamedifwecantwipeourownbehind.ButthenIfiguredForgetwhattheculturesays.Ih__eignoredtheculturemuchofmylife.Iamnotgoingtobeashamed.WhatsthebigdealAndyouknowwhatThestrangestthing.WhatsthatIbegantoenjoymydependency.NowIenjoywhentheyturnmeoveronmysideandrubcreamonmybehindsoIdontgetsores.Orwhentheywipemybroworthey__ssagemylegs.Irevel(着迷)init.Iclosemyeyesandsoakitup.Anditseemsveryfamiliartome.Itslikegoingbacktobeingachildagain.Someonetobatheyou.Someonetoliftyou.Someonetowipeyou.Weallknowhowtobeachild.Itsinsideallofus.Formeitsjustrememberinghowtoenjoyit.Thetruthiswhenourmothersheldusrockedusstrokedourheads—noneofusevergotenoughofthat.Weallyearninsomewaytoreturntothosedayswhenwewerecompletelytakencareof—unconditionalloveunconditionalattention.Mostofusdidntgetenough.IknowIdidnt.IlookedatMorrieandIsuddenlyknewwhyhesoenjoyedmyleaningoverandadjustinghismicrophoneorfussingwiththepillowsorwipinghiseyes.Hu__ntouch.Atseventy-eighthewasgivingasan_____andtakingasachild.♥Laterthatdaywetalkedaboutaging.Or__ybeIshouldsaythefearofaging—anotheroftheissuesonmywhats-bugging-my-generationlist.OnmyridefromtheBostonairportIhadcountedthebillboardsthatfeaturedyoungandbeautifulpeople.Therewasahandsomeyoung__ninacowboyhat__okingacigarettetwobeautifulyoungwomen__ilingoverashampoobottleasultry-looking(放荡的)teenagerwithherjeansunsnapped(解开扣子)anda___ywo__ninablackvelvet(天鹅绒的)dressnexttoa__ninatuxedo(男士半正式晚礼服)thetwoofthemsnuggling(依偎)aglassofscotch.Noton__didIseeanyonewhowouldpassforoverthirty-five.ItoldMorrieIwasalreadyfeelingoverthehillmuchasItrieddesperatelytostayontopofit.Iworkedoutconstantly.WatchedwhatIate.Checkedmyhairlineinthemirror.Ihadgonefrombeingproudtosaymyage—becauseofallIhaddonesoyoung-tonotbringingitupforfearIwasgettingtooclosetofortyandthereforeprofessionaloblivion(遗忘).Morriehadaginginbetterperspective.Allthisemphasisonyouth—Idontbuyithesaid.ListenIknowwhatamiserybeingyoungcanbesodont____meitssogreat.Allthesekidswhocametomewiththeirstrugglestheirstrife(冲突)theirfeelingsofinadequacytheirsensethatlifewasmiserablesobadtheywantedtokillthemselves...Andinadditiontoallthemiseriestheyoungarenotwise.Theyh__everylittleunderstandingaboutlife.WhowantstoliveeverydaywhenyoudontknowwhatsgoingonWhenpeopleare__nipulatingyou____ingyoutobuythisperfumeandyoullbebeautifulorthispairofjeansandyoullbe___y—andyoubelievethem!Itssuchnonsense.WerentyoueverafraidtogrowoldIaskedMitchIembra__aging.Embra__itItsvery______.Asyougrowyoulearnmore.Ifyoustayedattwenty-twoyoudalwaysbeasignorantasyouwereattwenty-two.Agingisnotjustdecayyouknow.Itsgrowth.Itsmorethanthenegativethatyouregoingto___itsalsothepositivethatyouunderstandyouregoingto___andthatyouliveabetterlifebecauseofit.YesIsaidbutifagingweresovaluablewhydopeoplealwayssayOhifIwereyoungagain.YouneverhearpeoplesayIwishIweresixty-five.He__iled.YouknowwhatthatreflectsUnsatisfiedlives.Unfulfilledlives.Livesthath__entfoundmeaning.Becauseifyouvefoundmeaninginyourlifeyoudontwanttogoback.Youwanttogoforward.Youwanttoseemoredomore.Youcantwaituntilsixty-five.Listen.Youshouldknowsomething.Allyoungerpeopleshouldknowsomething.Ifyourealwaysbattlingagainstgettingolderyourealwaysgoingtobeunhappybecauseitwillhappenanyhow.AndMitchHeloweredhisvoi__.Thefactisyouaregoingto___eventually.Inodded.Itwont__tterwhatyou____yourself.Iknow.Buthopefullyhesaidnotforalonglongtime.Heclosedhiseyeswithapea__fullookthenaskedmetoadjustthepillowsbehindhishead.Hisbodyneededconstantadjustmenttostaycomfortable.Itwasproppedinthechairwithwhitepillowsyellowfoamandbluetowels.Ataquickglan__itseemedasifMorriewerebeingpackedforshipping.ThankyouhewhisperedasImovedthepillows.NoproblemIsaid.Mitch.WhatareyouthinkingIpausedbeforeanswering.OkayIsaidImwonderinghowyoudontenvyyoungerhealthypeople.OhIguessIdo.Heclosedhiseyes.Ienvythembeingabletogotothehealthcluborgoforaswim.Ordan__.Mostlyfordancing.ButenvycomestomeIfeelitandthenIletitgo.RememberwhatIsaidaboutdetachmentLetitgo.____yourselfThatsenvyImgoingtoseparatefromitnow.Andwalkaway.Hecoughed—alongscratchycough—andhepushedatissuetohismouthandspitweaklyintoit.SittingthereIfeltsomuchstrongerthanheridiculouslysoasifIcouldlifthimandtosshimovermyshoulderlikeasackofflour.IwasembarrassedbythissuperioritybecauseIdidnotfeelsuperiortohiminanyotherway.Howdoyoukeepfromenvying...WhatMeHe__iled.Mitchitisimpossiblefortheoldnottoenvytheyoung.Buttheissueistoac__ptwhoyouareandrevelinthat.Thisisyourtimetobeinyourthirties.Ihadmytimetobeinmythirtiesandnowismytimetobeseventy-eight.Youh__etofindwhatsgoodandtrueandbeautifulinyourlifeasitisnow.Lookingback__kesyoucompetitive.Andageisnotacompetitiveissue.Heexhaledandloweredhiseyesasiftowatchhisbreathscatterintotheair.Thetruthispartofmeiseveryage.Imathree-year-oldImafive-year-oldImathirty-seven-year-oldImafifty-year-old.IvebeenthroughallofthemandIknowwhatitslike.Idelightinbeingachildwhenitsappropriatetobeachild.Idelightinbeingawiseold__nwhenitsappropriatetobeawiseold__n.ThinkofallIcanbe!Iameveryageuptomyown.DoyouunderstandInodded.HowcanIbeenviousofwhereyouare—whenIvebeentheremyselfFatesuccumbs__nyaspecies:onealonejeopardisesitself.--W.H.AUDENMORRIESF__ORITEPOETTheEighthTuesdayWeTallyAboutMoney♥IheldupthenewspapersothatMorriecouldseeit:IDONTWANTMYTOMBSTONETOREADINEVEROWNEDANETWORK.Morrielaughedthenshookhishead.Themorningsunwascomingthroughthewindowbehindhimfallingonthepinkflowersofthehibiscusplantthatsatonthesill.ThequotewasfromTedTurnerthebillionairemediamogul(显要人物)founderofCNNwhohadbeenlamentinghisinabilitytosnatchuptheCBSnetworkinacorporatemegadeal.IhadbroughtthestorytoMorriethismorningbecauseIwonderedifTurnereverfoundhimselfinmyoldprofessorspositionhisbreathdisappearinghisbodyturningtostonehisdaysbeingcrossedoffthecalendaronebyone—wouldhereallybecryingoverowninganetworkItsallpartofthesameproblemMitchMorriesaid.Weputourvaluesinthewrongthings.Anditleadstoverydisillusionedlives.Ithinkweshouldtalkaboutthat.Morriewasfocused.Thereweregooddaysandbaddaysnow.Hewash__ingagoodday.ThenightbeforehehadbeenentertainedbyalocalacappellagroupthathadcometothehousetoperformandherelayedthestoryexcitedlyasiftheInkSpotsthemselveshaddroppedbyforavisit.Morriesloveformusicwasstrongevenbeforehegotsickbutnowitwassointenseitmovedhimtotears.Hewouldlistentooperasometimesatnightclosinghiseyesridingalongwiththe__gnifi__ntvoi__sastheydippedandsoared.Youshouldh__eheardthisgrouplastnightMitch.Suchasound!Morriehadalwaysbeentakenwith______pleasuressinginglaughingdancing.Nowmorethanever__terialthingsheldlittleornosignifican__.Whenpeople___youalwaysheartheexpressionYoucanttakeitwithyou.Morrieseemedtoknowthatalongtimeago.WevegotaformofbrainwashinggoingoninourcountryMorriesighed.DoyouknowhowtheybrainwashpeopleTheyrepeatsomethingoverandover.Andthatswhatwedointhiscountry.Owningthingsisgood.Moremoneyisgood.Morepropertyisgood.Morecommerciali__isgood.Moreisgood.Moreisgood.Werepeatit—andh__eitrepeatedtous—overandoveruntilnobodybotherstoeventhinkotherwise.The__eragepersonissofoggedupbyallthishehasnoperspectiveonwhatsreallyimportantanymore.WhereverIwentinmylifeImetpeoplewantingtogobbleupsomethingnew.Gobbleupanewcar.Gobbleupanewpie__ofproperty.Gobbleupthelatesttoy.Andthentheywantedto____youaboutit.GuesswhatIgotGuesswhatIgotYouknowhowIalwaysinterpretedthatThesewerepeoplesohungryforlovethattheywereac__ptingsubstitutes.Theywereembracing__terialthingsandexpectingasortofhugback.Butitneverworks.Youcantsubstitute__terialthingsforloveorforgentlenessorfortendernessorforasenseofcomradeship.Moneyisnotasubstitutefortendernessandpowerisnotasubstitutefortenderness.Ican____youasImsittingheredyingwhenyoumostneeditneithermoneynorpowerwillgiveyouthefeelingyourelookingforno__tterhowmuchofthemyouh__e.Iglan__daroundMorriesstudy.ItwasthesametodayasithadbeenthefirstdayIarrived.Thebooksheldtheirsamepla__sontheshelves.Thepapersclutteredthesameolddesk.Theoutsideroomshadnotbeenimprovedorupgraded.InfactMorriereallyhadntboughtanythingnew—ex__ptmedicalequipment—inalonglongtime__ybeyears.Thedayhelearnedthathewasterminallyillwasthedayhelostinterestinhispurchasingpower.SotheTVwasthesameoldmodelthecarthatCharlottedrovewasthesameoldmodelthedishesandthesilverwareandthetowels—allthesame.Andyetthehousehadchangedsodrastically.Ithadfilledwithloveandteachingandcommunication.Ithadfilledwithfriendshipandfamilyandhonestyandtears.Ithadfilledwithcolleaguesandstudentsandmeditationteachersandtherapistsandnursesandacappellagroups.IthadbecomeinaveryrealwayawealthyhomeeventhoughMorriesbankaccountwasrapidlydepleting(耗尽).TheresabigconfusioninthiscountryoverwhatwewantversuswhatweneedMorriesaid.Youneedfoodyouwantachocolatesundae(圣代冰淇淋).Youh__etobehonestwithyourself.Youdontneedthelatestsportscaryoudontneedthebiggesthouse.Thetruthisyoudontgetsatisfactionfromthosethings.YouknowwhatreallygivesyousatisfactionWhatOfferingotherswhatyouh__etogive.YousoundlikeaBoyScout.IdontmeanmoneyMitch.Imeanyourtime.Yourcon__rn.Yourstory____ing.Itsnotsohard.Theresasenior__nterthatopenednearhere.Dozensofelderlypeoplecomethereeveryday.Ifyoureayoung__noryoungwo__nandyouh__easkillyouareaskedtocomeandteachit.Sayyouknowcomputers.Youcomethereandteachthemcomputers.Youareverywelcomethere.Andtheyareverygrateful.Thisishowyoustarttogetrespectbyofferingsomethingthatyouh__e.Thereareplentyofpla__stodothis.Youdontneedtoh__eabigtalent.Therearelonelypeopleinhospitalsandshelterswhoonlywantsomecompanionship.Youplaycardswithalonelyolder__nandyoufindnewrespectforyourselfbecauseyouareneeded.RememberwhatIsaidaboutfindingameaningfullifeIwroteitdownbutnowIcanreciteit:Devoteyourselftolovingothersdevoteyourselftoyourcommunityaroundyouanddevoteyourselftocreatingsomethingthatgivesyoupurposeandmeaning.Younoti__headdedgrinningtheresnothinginthereaboutasalary.IjottedsomeofthethingsMorriewassayingonayellowpad.IdidthismostlybecauseIdidntwanthimtoseemyeyestoknowwhatIwasthinkingthatIhadbeenformuchofmylifesin__graduationpursuingtheseverythingshehadbeenrailingagainst—biggertoysni__rhouse.BecauseIworkedamongrichandfamousathletesIconvin__dmyselfthatmyneedswererealisticmygreedinconsequentialcomparedtotheirs.Thiswasa__okescreen(烟幕).Morrie__dethatobvious.Mitchifyouretryingtoshowoffforpeopleatthetopforgetit.Theywilllookdownatyouanyhow.Andifyouretryingtoshowoffforpeopleatthebottomforgetit.Theywillonlyenvyyou.Statuswillgetyounowhere.Onlyanopenheartwillallowyoutofloatequallybetweeneveryone.Hepausedthenlookedatme.ImdyingrightYes.WhydoyouthinkitssoimportantformetohearotherpeoplesproblemsDontIh__eenoughpainandsufferingofmyownOfcourseIdo.Butgivingtootherpeopleiswhat__kesmefeelalive.Notmycarormyhouse.NotwhatIlooklikeinthemirror.WhenIgivemytimewhenIcan__kesomeone__ileaftertheywerefeelingsaditsasclosetohealthyasIeverfeel.Dothekindsofthingsthatcomefromtheheart.Whenyoudoyouwontbedissatisfiedyouwontbeenviousyouwontbelongingforsomebodyelsesthings.Onthecontraryyoullbeoverwhelmedwithwhatcomesback.Hecoughedandreachedforthe__allbellthatlayonthechair.HehadtopokeafewtimesatitandIfinallypickeditupandputitinhishand.Thankyouhewhispered.HeshookitweaklytryingtogetConniesattention.ThisTedTurnerguyMorriesaidhecouldntthinkofanythingelseforhistombstoneEachnightwhenIgotosleepI___.AndthenextmorningwhenIwakeupIamreborn.-__HAT__GANDHITheNinthTuesdayWeTalkAboutHowLoveGoesOn♥Thele__eshadbeguntochangecolorturningtheridethroughWestNewtonintoaportraitofgoldandrust.BackinDetroitthelaborwarhadstagnatedwitheachsideaccusingtheotheroffailingtocommunicate.ThestoriesontheTVnewswerejustasdepressing.InruralKentuckythreementhrewpie__sofatombstoneoffabridge__ashingthewindshieldofapassingcarkillingateenagegirlwhowastr__elingwithherfamilyonareligiouspilgri__ge.InCaliforniatheO.J.Simpsontrialwasheadingtowardaconclusionandthewholecountryseemedtobeobsessed.EveninairportstherewerehangingTVsetstunedtoCNNsothatyoucouldgetanO.J.updateasyou__deyourwaytoagate.IhadtriedcallingmybrotherinSpainseveraltimes.IleftmessagessayingthatIreallywantedtotalktohimthatIhadbeendoingalotofthinkingaboutus.AfewweekslaterIgotbackashortmessagesayingeverythingwasokaybuthewassorryhereallydidntfeelliketalkingaboutbeingsick.Formyoldprofessoritwasnotthetalkofbeingsickbutthebeingsickitselfthatwassinkinghim.Sin__mylastvisitanursehadinsertedacatheter(导尿管)intohispeniswhichdrewtheurineoutthroughatubeandintoabagthatsatatthefootofhischair.HislegsneededconstanttendinghecouldstillfeelpaineventhoughhecouldnotmovethemanotheroneofALSscruellittleironiesandunlesshisfeetdangledjusttherightnumberofinchesoffthefoampadsitfeltasifsomeonewerepokinghimwithafork.InthemiddleofconversationsMorriewouldh__etoaskvisitorstolifthisfootandmoveitjustaninchortoadjusthisheadsothatitfitmoreeasilyintothepalmofthecoloredpillows.Canyoui__ginebeingunabletomoveyourownheadWitheachvisitMorrieseemedtobemeltingintohischairhisspinetakingonitsshape.Stilleverymorningheinsistedonbeingliftedfromhisbedandwheeledtohisstudydepositedthereamonghisbooksandpapersandthehibiscusplantonthewindowsill.Intypicalfashionhefoundsomethingphilosophicalinthis.Isumitupinmynewestaphori__hesaid.Letmehearit.Whenyoureinbedyouredead.He__iled.OnlyMorriecould__ileatsomethinglikethat.HehadbeengettingcallsfromtheNightlinepeopleandfromTedKoppelhimself.Theywanttocomeanddoanothershowwithmehesaid.Buttheysaytheywanttowait.UntilwhatYoureonyourlastbreath__ybe.AnyhowImnotsofaraway.Dontsaythat.Imsorry.Thatbugsmethattheywanttowaituntilyouwither.Itbugsyoubecauseyoulookoutforme.He__iled.Mitch__ybetheyareusingmeforalittledra__.Thatsokay.__ybeImusingthemtoo.Theyhelpmegetmymessagetomillionsofpeople.IcouldntdothatwithoutthemrightSoitsacompromise.Hecoughedwhichturnedintoalong-drawn-outgargle(含漱)endingwithanotherglob(一团)intoacrushedtissue.AnyhowMorriesaidItoldthemtheybetternotwaittoolongbecausemyvoi__wontbethere.On__thisthinghitsmylungstalking__ybecomeimpossible.Icantspeakfortoolongwithoutneedingarestnow.Ih__ealreadycan__ledalotofthepeoplewhowanttoseeme.Mitchthereareso__ny.ButImtoofatigued.IfIcantgivethemtherightattentionIcanthelpthem.IlookedatthetaperecorderfeelingguiltyasifIwerestealingwhatwasleftofhispreciousspeakingtime.ShouldweskipitIasked.Willit__keyoutootiredMorrieshuthiseyesandshookhishead.Heseemedtobewaitingforsomesilentpaintopass.Nohefinallysaid.YouandIh__etogoon.Thisisourlastthesistogetheryouknow.Ourlastthesis.Wewanttogetitright.Ithoughtaboutourfirstthesistogetherincollege.ItwasMorriesideaofcourse.HetoldmeIwasgoodenoughtowriteanhonorsproject—somethingIhadneverconsidered.Nowhereweweredoingthesamethingon__more.Startingwithanidea.Dying__ntalkstoliving__n____shimwhatheshouldknow.ThistimeIwasinlessofahurrytofinish.SomeoneaskedmeaninterestingquestionyesterdayMorriesaidnowlookingovermyshoulderatthewallhanging(壁毯)behindmeaquiltofhopefulmessagesthatfriendshadstitchedforhimonhisseventiethbirthday.Eachpatchonthequilthadadifferentmessage:STAYTHECOURSETHEBESTISYETTOBEMORRIE-ALWAYSNO.1INMENTALHEALTH!WhatwasthequestionIasked.IfIworriedaboutbeingforgottenafterI___dWellDoyouIdontthinkIwillbe.Ivegotso__nypeoplewhoh__ebeeninvolvedwithmeincloseinti__teways.Andloveishowyoustayaliveevenafteryouaregone.Soundslikeasonglyric—loveishowyoustayalive.Morriechuckled.__ybe.ButMitchallthistalkthatweredoingDoyoueverhearmyvoi__sometimeswhenyourebackhomeWhenyoureallalone__ybeontheplane__ybeinyourcarYesIadmitted.ThenyouwillnotforgetmeafterImgone.Thinkofmyvoi__andIllbethere.Thinkofyourvoi__.Andifyouwanttocryalittleitsokay.Morrie.Hehadwantedto__kemecrysin__Iwasafresh__n.OneofthesedaysImgonnagettoyouhewouldsay.YeahyeahIwouldanswer.♥IdecidedwhatIwantedonmytombstonehesaid.Idontwanttohearabouttombstones.WhyThey__keyounervousIshrugged.Wecanforgetit.Nogoahead.WhatdidyoudecideMorriepoppedhislips.Iwasthinkingofthis:ATeachertotheLast.HewaitedwhileIabsorbedit.ATeachertotheLast.Goodhesaid.YesIsaid.Verygood.♥IcametolovethewayMorrielitupwhenIenteredtheroom.Hedidthisfor__nypeopleIknowbutitwashisspecialtalentto__keeachvisitorfeelthatthe__ilewasunique.Ahhhhitsmybuddyhewouldsaywhenhesawmeinthatfoggyhigh-pitchedvoi__.Anditdidntstopwiththegreeting.WhenMorriewaswithyouhewasreallywithyou.Helookedyoustraightintheeyeandhelistenedasifyouweretheonlypersonintheworld.Howmuchbetterwouldpeoplegetalongiftheirfirstencountereachdaywerelikethis—insteadofagrumblefromawaitressorabusdriverorabossIbelieveinbeingfullypresentMorriesaid.Thatmeansyoushouldbewiththepersonyourewith.WhenImtalkingtoyounowMitchItrytokeepfocusedonlyonwhatisgoingonbetweenus.Iamnotthinkingaboutsomethingwesaidlastweek.IamnotthinkingofwhatscomingupthisFriday.IamnotthinkingaboutdoinganotherKoppelshoworaboutwhatmedicationsImtaking.Iamtalkingtoyou.Iamthinkingaboutyou.IrememberedhowheusedtoteachthisideaintheGroupPro__ssclassbackatBrandeis.Ihadscoffed(嘲笑)backthenthinkingthiswashardlyalessonplanforauniversitycourse.LearningtopayattentionHowimportantcouldthatbeInowknowitismoreimportantthanalmosteverythingtheytaughtusincollege.MorriemotionedformyhandandasIg__eittohimIfeltasurgeofguilt.Herewasa__nwhoifhewantedcouldspendeverywakingmomentinself-pityfeelinghisbodyfordecaycountinghisbreaths.So__nypeoplewithfar__allerproblemsaresoself-absorbedtheireyesglazeoverifyouspeakformorethanthirtyseconds.Theyalreadyh__esomethingelseinmind—afriendtocallafaxtosendalovertheyredaydreamingabout.TheyonlysnapbacktofullattentionwhenyoufinishtalkingatwhichpointtheysayUh-huhorYeahreallyandfaketheirwaybacktothemoment.PartoftheproblemMitchisthateveryoneisinsuchahurryMorriesaid.Peopleh__entfoundmeaningintheirlivessotheyrerunningallthetimelookingforit.Theythinkthenextcarthenexthousethenextjob.Thentheyfindthosethingsareemptytooandtheykeeprunning.On__youstartrunningIsaiditshardtoslowyourselfdown.Notsohardhesaidshakinghishead.DoyouknowwhatIdoWhensomeonewantstogetaheadofmeintraffic—whenIusedtobeabletodrive—Iwouldraisemyhand...Hetriedtodothisnowbutthehandliftedweaklyonlysixinches....IwouldraisemyhandasifIwasgoingto__keanegativegestureandthenIwouldw__eand__ile.Insteadofgivingthemthefingeryouletthemgoandyou__ile.YouknowwhatAlotoftimesthey__iledback.ThetruthisIdonth__etobeinthatmuchofahurrywithmycar.Iwouldratherputmyenergiesintopeople.HedidthisbetterthananyoneIdeverknown.Thosewhosatwithhimsawhiseyesgomoistwhentheyspokeaboutsomethinghorribleorcrinkleindelightwhentheytoldhimareallybadjoke.Hewasalwaysreadytoopenlydisplaytheemotionsooftenmissingfrommybabyboomergeneration.Wearegreatat__alltalk:WhatdoyoudoWheredoyouliveButreallylisteningtosomeone—withouttryingtosellthemsomethingpickthemuprecruitthemorgetsomekindofstatusinreturn—howoftendowegetthisanymoreIbelieve__nyvisitorsinthelastfewmonthsofMorrieslifeweredrawnnotbecauseoftheattentiontheywantedtopaytohimbutbecauseoftheattentionhepaidtothem.Despitehispersonalpainanddecaythislittleold__nlistenedthewaytheyalwayswantedsomeonetolisten.Itoldhimhewasthefathereveryonewishestheyhad.WellhesaidclosinghiseyesIh__esomeexperien__inthatarea...♥ThelasttimeMorriesawhisownfatherwasinacitymorgue.CharlieSchwartzwasaquiet__nwholikedtoreadhisnewspaperaloneunderastreetlamponTremontAvenueintheBronx.EverynightwhenMorriewaslittleCharliewouldgoforawalkafterdinner.Hewasa__allRussian__nwitharuddycomplexionandafullheadofgrayishhair.MorrieandhisbrotherD__idwouldlookoutthewindowandseehimleaningagainstthelamppostandMorriewishedhewouldcomeinsideandtalktothembutherarelydid.Nordidhetucktheminnorkissthemgood-night.Morriealwayssworehewoulddothesethingsforhisownchildrenifheeverhadany.Andyearslaterwhenhehadthemhedid.MeanwhileasMorrieraisedhisownchildrenCharliewasstilllivingintheBronx.Hestilltookthatwalk.Hestillreadthepaper.Onenighthewentoutsideafterdinner.Afewblocksfromhomehewasaccostedbytworobbers.Giveusyourmoneyonesaidpullingagun.FrightenedCharliethrewdownhiswalletandbegantorun.Heranthroughthestreetsandkeptrunninguntilhereachedthestepsofarelativeshousewherehecollapsedontheporch.Heartattack.He___dthatnight.Morriewascalledtoidentifythebody.HeflewtoNewYorkandwenttothemorgue(太平间).Hewastakendownstairstothecoldroomwherethecorpseswerekept.Isthisyourfathertheattendantasked.Morrielookedatthebodybehindtheglassthebodyofthe__nwhohadscoldedhimandmoldedhimandtaughthimtoworkwhohadbeenquietwhenMorriewantedhimtospeakwhohadtoldMorrietoswallowhismemoriesofhismotherwhenhewantedtosharethemwiththeworld.Henoddedandhewalkedaway.Thehorroroftheroomhewouldlatersaysuckedallotherfunctionsoutofhim.Hedidnotcryuntildayslater.StillhisfathersdeathhelpedprepareMorrieforhisown.Thismuchheknew:therewouldbelotsofholdingandkissingandtalkingandlaughterandnogood-byesleftunsaidallthethingshemissedwithhisfatherandhismother.WhenthefinalmomentcameMorriewantedhislovedonesaroundhimknowingwhatwashappening.Noonewouldgetaphonecalloratelegramorh__etolookthroughaglasswindowinsomecoldandforeignbasement.IntheSouthAmericanrainforestthereisatribecalledtheDesanawhoseetheworldasafixedquantityofenergythatflowsbetweenallcreatures.Everybirthmustthereforeengender(造成)adeathandeverydeathbringforthanotherbirth.Thiswaytheenergyoftheworldre__inscomplete.WhentheyhuntforfoodtheDesanaknowthattheani__lstheykillwillle__eaholeinthespiritualwell.ButthatholewillbefilledtheybelievebythesoulsoftheDesanahunterswhenthey___.Weretherenomendyingtherewouldbenobirdsorfishbeingborn.Ilikethisidea.Morrielikesittoo.Thecloserhegetstogood-byethemoreheseemstofeelweareallcreaturesinthesameforest.Whatwetakewemustreplenish(补充).Itsonlyfairhesays.TheTenthTuesdayWeTalkAbout__rriage♥IbroughtavisitortomeetMorrie.Mywife.Hehadbeenaskingmesin__thefirstdayIcame.WhendoImeetJanineWhenareyoubringingherIdalwayshadexcusesuntilafewdaysearlierwhenIcalledhishousetoseehowhewasdoing.IttookawhileforMorrietogettothere__iver.AndwhenhedidIcouldhearthefumbling(摸索)assomeoneheldittohisear.Hecouldnolongerliftaphonebyhimself.Hiiiihegasped.YoudoingokayCoachIheardhimexhale.Mitch...yourcoachisnth__ingsuchagreatday...Hissleepingtimewasgettingworse.Heneededoxygenalmostnightlynowandhiscoughingspellshadbecomefrightening.Onecoughcouldlastanhourandheneverknewifhedbeabletostop.Healwayssaidhewould___whenthediseasegothislungs.Ishuddered(战栗)whenIthoughthowclosedeathwas.IllseeyouonTuesdayIsaid.Youllh__eabetterdaythen.Mitch.YeahIsyourwifetherewithyouShewassittingnexttome.Putheron.Iwanttohearhervoi__.NowIam__rriedtoawo__nblessedwithfarmoreintuitivekindnessthanI.AlthoughshehadnevermetMorrieshetookthephone—Iwouldh__eshakenmyheadandwhisperedImnothere!Imnothere!—andinaminuteshewasconnectingwithmyoldprofessorasiftheydknowneachothersin__college.IsensedthiseventhoughallIheardonmyendwasUh-huh...Mitchtoldme...ohthankyou...WhenshehungupshesaidImcomingnexttrip.Andthatwasthat.Nowwesatinhisoffi__surroundinghiminhisrecliner.Morriebyhisownadmissionwasaharmlessflirt(调情)andwhileheoftenhadtostopforcoughingortousethecommodeheseemedtofindnewreservesofenergywithJanineintheroom.HelookedatphotosfromourweddingwhichJaninehadbroughtalong.YouarefromDetroitMorriesaid.YesJaninesaid.ItaughtinDetroitforoneyearinthelateforties.Irememberafunnystoryaboutthat.Hestoppedtoblowhisnose.WhenhefumbledwiththetissueIhelditinpla__andheblewweaklyintoit.Isqueezeditlightlyagainsthisnostrilsthenpulleditofflikeamotherdoestoachildinacarseat.ThankyouMitch.HelookedatJanine.Myhelperthisoneis.Janine__iled.Anyhow.Mystory.Therewereabunchofsociologistsattheuniversityandweusedtoplaypokerwithotherstaffmembersincludingthisguywhowasasurgeon.OnenightafterthegamehesaidMorrieIwanttocomeseeyouwork.Isaidfine.Sohecametooneofmyclassesandwatchedmeteach.AftertheclasswasoverhesaidAllrightnowhowwouldyouliketoseemeworkIh__eanoperationtonight.Iwantedtoreturnthef__orsoIsaidokay.Hetookmeuptothehospital.HesaidScrub(擦净)downputona__skandgetintoagown.AndnextthingIknewIwasrightnexttohimattheoperatingtable.Therewasthiswo__nthepatientonthetablenakedfromthewaistdown.Andhetookaknifeandwentzip—justlikethat!Well...Morrieliftedafingerandspunitaround....Istartedtogolikethis.Imabouttofaint.Alltheblood.Yech.ThenursenexttomesaidWhatsthe__tterDoctorandIsaidImnodamndoctor!Getmeoutofhere!WelaughedandMorrielaughedtooashardashecouldwithhislimitedbreathing.ItwasthefirsttimeinweeksthatIcouldrecallhim____ingastorylikethis.HowstrangeIthoughtthathenearlyfaintedon__fromwatchingsomeoneelsesillnessandnowhewassoabletoendurehisown.ConnieknockedonthedoorandsaidthatMorrieslunchwasready.ItwasnotthecarrotsoupandvegetablecakesandGreekpastaIhadbroughtthatmorningfromBreadandCircus.AlthoughItriedtobuythesoftestoffoodsnowtheywerestillbeyondMorrieslimitedstrengthtochewandswallow.Hewaseatingmostlyliquidsupplementswithperhapsabranmuffin(全麦松饼)tossedinuntilitwasmushy(糊状的)andeasilydigested.Charlottewouldpuree(煮成浓汤)almosteverythinginablendernow.Hewastakingfoodthroughastraw.Istillshoppedeveryweekandwalkedinwithbagstoshowhimbutitwasmoreforthelookonhisfa__thananythingelse.WhenIopenedtherefrigeratorIwouldseeanoverflowofcontainers.IguessIwashopingthatonedaywewouldgobacktoeatingareallunchtogetherandIcouldwatchthesloppywayinwhichhetalkedwhilechewingthefoodspillinghappilyoutofhismouth.Thiswasafoolishhope.So...JanineMorriesaid.She__iled.Youarelovely.Givemeyourhand.Shedid.Mitchsaysthatyoureaprofessionalsinger.YesJaninesaid.Hesaysyouregreat.Ohshelaughed.No.Hejustsaysthat.Morrieraisedhiseyebrows.WillyousingsomethingformeNowIh__eheardpeopleaskthisofJanineforalmostaslongasIh__eknownher.WhenpeoplefindoutyousingforalivingtheyalwayssaySingsomethingforus.ShyabouthertalentandaperfectionistaboutconditionsJanineneverdid.Shewouldpolitelydecline.WhichiswhatIexpectednow.Whichiswhenshebegantosing:TheverythoughtofyouandIforgettodothelittleordinarythingsthateveryoneoughttodo...Itwasa1930sstandardwrittenbyRayNobleandJaninesangitsweetlylookingstraightatMorrie.Iwasa__zedon__againathisabilitytodrawemotionfrompeoplewhootherwisekeptitlockedaway.Morrieclosedhiseyestoabsorbthenotes.Asmywifeslovingvoi__filledtheroomacres__nt(逐渐增多的)__ileappearedonhisfa__.Andwhilehisbodywasstiffasasandbagyoucouldalmostseehimdancinginsideit.Iseeyourfa__ineveryfloweryoureyesinstarsaboveitsjustthethoughtofyoutheverythoughtofyoumylove...WhenshefinishedMorrieopenedhiseyesandtearsrolleddownhischeeks.InalltheyearsIh__elistenedtomywifesingIneverheardherthewayhedidatthatmoment.♥__rriage.AlmosteveryoneIknewhadaproblemwithit.Somehadproblemsgettingintoitsomehadproblemsgettingout.Mygenerationseemedtostrugglewiththecommitmentasifitwereanalligator(鳄鱼)fromsomemurkyswamp.IhadgottenusedtoattendingweddingscongratulatingthecoupleandfeelingonlymildsurprisewhenIsawthegroomafewyearslatersittinginarestaurantwithayoungerwo__nwhomheintrodu__dasafriend.YouknowImseparatedfromso-and-so...hewouldsay.Whydoweh__esuchproblemsIaskedMorrieaboutthis.H__ingwaitedsevenyearsbeforeIproposedtoJanineIwonderedifpeoplemyagewerebeingmorecarefulthanthosewhocamebeforeusorsimplymoreselfishWellIfeelsorryforyourgenerationMorriesaid.Inthiscultureitssoimportanttofindalovingrelationshipwithsomeonebecausesomuchoftheculturedoesnotgiveyouthat.Butthepoorkidstodayeithertheyretooselfishtotakepartinareallovingrelationshiportheyrushinto__rriageandthensixmonthslatertheygetdivor__d.Theydontknowwhattheywantinapartner.Theydontknowwhotheyarethemselves—sohowcantheyknowwhotheyre__rryingHesighed.Morriehadcounseledso__nyunhappyloversinhisyearsasaprofessor.Itssadbecausealovedoneissoimportant.YourealizethatespeciallywhenyoureinatimelikeIamwhenyourenotdoingsowell.Friendsaregreatbutfriendsarenotgoingtobehereonanightwhenyourecoughingandcantsleepandsomeonehastositupallnightwithyoucomfortyoutrytobehelpful.CharlotteandMorriewhometasstudentshadbeen__rriedforty-fouryears.Iwatchedthemtogethernowwhenshewouldremindhimofhismedicationorcomeinandstrokehisneckortalkaboutoneoftheirsons.Theyworkedasateamoftenneedingnomorethanasilentglan__tounderstandwhattheotherwasthinking.CharlottewasaprivatepersondifferentfromMorriebutIknewhowmuchherespectedherbecausesometimeswhenwespokehewouldsayCharlottemightbeuncomfortablewithmerevealingthatandhewouldendtheconversation.ItwastheonlytimeMorrieheldanythingback.Ivelearnedthismuchabout__rriagehesaidnow.Yougettested.Youfindoutwhoyouarewhotheotherpersonisandhowyouaccommodateordont.Istheresomekindofruletoknowifa__rriageisgoingtoworkMorrie__iled.Thingsarenotthat______Mitch.Iknow.StillhesaidthereareafewrulesIknowtobetrueaboutloveand__rriage:Ifyoudontrespecttheotherpersonyouregonnah__ealotoftrouble.Ifyoudontknowhowtocompromiseyouregonnah__ealotoftrouble.Ifyoucanttalkopenlyaboutwhatgoesonbetweenyouyouregonnah__ealotoftrouble.Andifyoudonth__eacommonsetofvaluesinlifeyouregonnah__ealotoftrouble.Yourvaluesmustbealike.AndthebiggestoneofthosevaluesMitchYesYourbeliefintheimportan__ofyour__rriage.Hesniffedthenclosedhiseyesforamoment.PersonallyhesighedhiseyesstillclosedIthink__rriageisaveryimportantthingtodoandyouremissingahellofalotifyoudonttryit.Heendedthesu__ectbyquotingthepoemhebelievedinlikeaprayer:Loveeachotherorperish.OkayquestionIsaytoMorrie.Hisbonyfingersholdhisglassesacrosshischestwhichrisesandfallswitheachlaboredbreath.Whatsthequestionhesays.RemembertheBookofJobFromtheBibleRight.Jobisagood__nbutGod__keshimsuffer.Totesthisfaith.Iremember.Takesawayeverythinghehashishousehismoneyhisfamily...Hishealth.__keshimsick.Totesthisfaith.Right.Totesthisfaith.SoImwondering…WhatareyouwonderingWhatyouthinkaboutthatMorriecoughsviolently.Hishandsquiverashedropsthembyhisside.Ithinkhesays__ilingGodoverdidit.TheEleventhTuesdayWeTalkAboutOurCulture♥Hithimharder.IslappedMorriesback.Harder.Islappedhimagain.Nearhisshoulders...nowdownlower.Morriedressedinpaja__bottomslayinbedonhissidehisheadflushagainstthepillowhismouthopen.Thephysicaltherapistwasshowingmehowtobangloosethepoisoninhislungs—whichheneededdoneregularlynowtokeepitfromsolidifyingtokeephimbreathing.I...alwaysknew...youwanted...tohitme...Morriegasped.YeahIjokedasIrappedmyfistagainstthealabaster(雪花石膏)skinofhisback.ThisisforthatByoug__emesophomoreyear!Whack!Wealllaughedanervouslaughterthatcomeswhenthedeviliswithinearshot(听力所及之范围).Itwouldh__ebeencutethislittles__newereitnotwhatweallknewitwasthefinalcalisthenics(运动)beforedeath.Morriesdiseasewasnowdangerouslyclosetohissurrenderspothislungs.Hehadbeenpredictinghewould___fromchokingandIcouldnoti__gineamoreterriblewaytogo.Sometimeshewouldclosehiseyesandtrytodrawtheairupintohismouthandnostrilsanditseemedasifheweretryingtoliftananchor.OutsideitwasjacketweatherearlyOctoberthele__esclumpedinpilesonthelawnsaroundWestNewton.MorriesphysicaltherapisthadcomeearlierinthedayandIusuallyexcusedmyselfwhennursesorspecialistshadbusinesswithhim.ButastheweekspassedandourtimerandownIwasincreasinglylessself-consciousaboutthephysicalembarras__ent.Iwantedtobethere.Iwantedtoobserveeverything.ThiswasnotlikemebutthenneitherwerealotofthingsthathadhappenedtheselastfewmonthsinMorrieshouse.SoIwatchedthetherapistworkonMorrieinthebedpoundingthebackofhisribsaskingifhecouldfeelthecongestionlooseningwithinhim.AndwhenshetookabreaksheaskedifIwantedtotryit.Isaidyes.Morriehisfa__onthepillowg__ealittle__ile.Nottoohardhesaid.Imanold__n.Idrummedonhisbackandsidesmovingaroundassheinstructed.IhatedtheideaofMorrieslyinginbedunderanycircumstan__shislastaphori__Whenyoureinbedyouredeadranginmyearsandcurledonhissidehewasso__allsowithereditwasmoreaboysbodythana__ns.Isawthepalenessofhisskinthestraywhitehairsthewayhisarmshunglimpandhelpless.Ithoughtabouthowmuchtimewespendtryingtoshapeourbo___sliftingweightscrunchingsit-upsandintheendnaturetakesitawayfromusanyhow.BeneathmyfingersIfeltthelooseflesharoundMorriesbonesandIthumpedhimhardasinstructed.ThetruthisIwaspoundingonhisbackwhenIwantedtobehittingthewalls.MitchMorriegaspedhisvoi__jumpyasajackhammer(手提钻)asIpoundedonhim.Uh-huhWhendid...I...giveyou...aB♥Morriebelievedintheinherentgoodofpeople.Buthealsosawwhattheycouldbecome.Peopleareonlymeanwhentheyrethreatenedhesaidlaterthatdayandthatswhatourculturedoes.Thatswhatoureconomydoes.Evenpeoplewhoh__ejobsinoureconomyarethreatenedbecausetheyworryaboutlosingthem.Andwhenyougetthreatenedyoustartlookingoutonlyforyourself.Youstart__kingmoneyagod.Itisallpartofthisculture.Heexhaled.WhichiswhyIdontbuyintoit.Inoddedathimandsqueezedhishand.Weheldhandsregularlynow.Thiswasanotherchangeforme.Thingsthatbeforewouldh__e__demeembarrassedorsqueamish(过于拘谨的)werenowroutinelyhandled.Thecatheterbagconnectedtothetubeinsidehimandfilledwithgreenishwastefluidlaybymyfootnearthelegofhischair.Afewmonthsearlieritmighth__edisgustedme;itwasinconsequentialnow.Sowasthe__elloftheroomafterMorriehadusedthecommode.Hedidnoth__etheluxuryofmovingfrompla__topla__ofclosingabathroomdoorbehindhimsprayingsomeairfreshenerwhenheleft.Therewashisbedtherewashischairandthatwashislife.Ifmylifeweresqueezedintosuchathimble(顶针)IdoubtIcould__keit__ellanybetter.HereswhatImeanbybuildingyourownlittlesubcultureMorriesaid.Idontmeanyoudisregardeveryruleofyourcommunity.Idontgoaroundnakedforexample.Idontrunthroughredlights.ThelittlethingsIcanobey.Butthebigthings—howwethinkwhatwevalue—thoseyoumustchooseyourself.Youcantletanyone—oranysociety—determinethoseforyou.Takemycondition.ThethingsIamsupposedtobeembarrassedaboutnow—notbeingabletowalknotbeingabletowipemyasswakingupsomemorningswantingtocry—thereisnothinginnatelyembarrassingorshamingaboutthem.Itsthesameforwomennotbeingthinenoughormennotbeingrichenough.Itsjustwhatourculturewouldh__eyoubelieve.Dontbelieveit.IaskedMorriewhyhehadntmovedsomewhereelsewhenhewasyounger.WhereIdontknow.SouthAmerica.NewGuinea.Somepla__notasselfishasAmerica.EverysocietyhasitsownproblemsMorriesaidliftinghiseyebrowstheclosesthecouldcometoashrug.ThewaytodoitIthinkisnttorunaway.Youh__etoworkatcreatingyourownculture.Lookno__tterwhereyoulivethebiggestdefectwehu__nbeingsh__eisourshortsightedness.Wedontseewhatwecouldbe.Weshouldbelookingatourpotentialstretchingourselvesintoeverythingwecanbecome.ButifyouresurroundedbypeoplewhosayIwantminenowyouendupwithafewpeoplewitheverythingandamilitarytokeepthepooronesfromrisingupandstealingit.Morrielookedovermyshouldertothefarwindow.Sometimesyoucouldhearapassingtruckorawhipofthewind.Hegazedforamomentathisnei___orshousesthencontinued.TheproblemMitchisthatwedontbelieveweareasmuchalikeasweare.WhitesandblacksCatholicsandProtestantsmenandwomen.Ifwesaweachotherasmorealikewemightbeveryeagertojoininonebighu__nfamilyinthisworldandtocareaboutthatfamilythewaywecareaboutourown.Butbelievemewhenyouaredyingyouseeitistrue.Weallh__ethesamebeginning—birth—andweallh__ethesameend—death.SohowdifferentcanwebeInvestinthehu__nfamily.Investinpeople.Buildalittlecommunityofthoseyouloveandwholoveyou.Hesqueezedmyhandgently.Isqueezedbackharder.AndlikethatcarnivalcontestwhereyoubangahammerandwatchthediskriseupthepoleIcouldalmostseemybodyheatriseupMorrieschestandneckintohischeeksandeyes.He__iled.InthebeginningoflifewhenweareinfantsweneedotherstosurviverightAndattheendoflifewhenyougetlikemeyouneedotherstosurviverightHisvoi__droppedtoawhisper.Butheresthesecret:inbetweenweneedothersaswell.♥LaterthatafternoonConnieandIwentintothebedroomtowatchthe
0.J.Simpsonverdict(判决).Itwasatenses__neastheprincipalsallturnedtofa__thejurySimpsoninhisbluesuitsurroundedbyhis__allarmyoflawyerstheprosecutors(检举人)whowantedhimbehindbarsjustafewfeetaway.Whenthefore__n(陪审团__)readtheverdict—Notguilty—Connieshrieked.OhmyGod!WewatchedasSimpsonhuggedhislawyers.Welistenedasthecommentatorstriedtoexplainwhatitallmeant.Wesawcrowdsofblacks__lebratinginthestreetsoutsidethecourthouseandcrowdsofwhitessittingstunnedinsiderestaurants.Thedecisionwasbeinghailedasmomentouseventhoughmurderstakepla__everyday.Conniewentoutinthehall.Shehadseenenough.IheardthedoortoMorriesstudyclose.IstaredattheTVset.EveryoneintheworldiswatchingthisthingItoldmyself.ThenfromtheotherroomIheardtherufflingofMorriesbeingliftedfromhischairandI__iled.AsTheTrialofthe__nturyreacheditsdra__ticconclusionmyoldprofessorwassittingonthetoilet.Itis1979abasketballgameintheBrandeisgym.TheteamisdoingwellandthestudentsectionbeginsachantWerenumberone!Werenumberone!Morrieissittingnearby.Heispuzzledbythecheer.AtonepointinthemidstofWerenumberone!herisesandyellsWhatswrongwithbeingnumbertwoThestudentslookathim.Theystopchanting.Hesitsdown__ilingandtriumphant.TheAudiovisualPartThree♥TheNightlinecrewcamebackforitsthirdandfinalvisit.Thewholetenor(要旨)ofthethingwasdifferentnow.Lesslikeaninterviewmorelikeasadfarewell.TedKoppelhadcalledseveraltimesbeforecomingupandhehadaskedMorrieDoyouthinkyoucanhandleitMorriewasntsurehecould.ImtiredallthetimenowTed.AndImchokingalot.IfIcantsaysomethingwillyousayitformeKoppelsaidsure.Andthenthenor__llystoicanchoraddedthis:IfyoudontwanttodoitMorrieitsokay.Illcomeupandsaygood-byeanyhow.LaterMorriewouldgrinmischievouslyandsayImgettingtohim.Andhewas.KoppelnowreferredtoMorrieasafriend.Myoldprofessorhadevencoaxedcompassionoutofthetelevisionbusiness.Fortheinterviewwhichtookpla__onaFridayafternoonMorrieworethesameshirthedhadonthedaybefore.HechangedshirtsonlyeveryotherdayatthispointandthiswasnottheotherdaysowhybreakroutineUnliketheprevioustwoKoppel—SchwartzsessionsthisonewasconductedentirelywithinMorriesstudywhereMorriehadbecomeaprisonerofhischair.Koppelwhokissedmyoldprofessorwhenhefirstsawhimnowhadtosqueezeinalongsidethebookcaseinordertobeseeninthecameraslens.BeforetheystartedKoppelaskedaboutthediseasesprogression.HowbadisitMorrieMorrieweaklyliftedahandhalfwayuphisbelly.Thiswasasfarashecouldgo.Koppelhadhisanswer.Thecamerarolledthethirdandfinalinterview.KoppelaskedifMorriewasmoreafraidnowthatdeathwasnear.Morriesaidno;to____thetruthhewaslessafraid.Hesaidhewaslettinggoofsomeoftheoutsideworldnoth__ingthenewspaperreadtohimasmuchnotpayingasmuchattentionto__ilinsteadlisteningmoretomusicandwatchingthele__eschangecolorthroughhiswindow.TherewereotherpeoplewhosufferedfromALSMorrieknewsomeofthemfamoussuchasStephenHawkingthebrilliantphysicistandauthorofABriefHistoryofTime.Helivedwithaholeinhisthroatspokethroughacomputersynthesizertypedwordsbybattinghiseyesasasensorpickedupthemovement.ThiswasadmirablebutitwasnotthewayMorriewantedtolive.HetoldKoppelheknewwhenitwouldbetimetosaygood-bye.FormeTedlivingmeansIcanberesponsivetotheotherperson.ItmeansIcanshowmyemotionsandmyfeelings.Talktothem.Feelwiththem...Heexhaled.WhenthatisgoneMorrieisgone.Theytalkedlikefriends.AshehadintheprevioustwointerviewsKoppelaskedabouttheoldasswipetest—hopingperhapsforahumorousresponse.ButMorriewastootiredeventogrin.Heshookhishead.WhenIsitonthecommodeIcannolongersitupstraight.Imlistingallthetimesotheyh__etoholdme.WhenImdonetheyh__etowipeme.Thatishowfaritsgotten.HetoldKoppelhewantedto___withserenity.Hesharedhislatestaphori__:Dontletgotoosoonbutdonthangontoolong.Koppelnoddedpainfully.OnlysixmonthshadpassedbetweenthefirstNightlineshowandthisonebutMorrieSchwartzwasclearlyacollapsedform.HehaddecayedbeforeanationalTVau___n__aminiseries(电视连续剧)ofadeath.Butashisbodyrottedhischaractershoneevenmorebrightly.TowardtheendoftheinterviewthecamerazoomedinonMorrie—Koppelwasnoteveninthepictureonlyhisvoi__washeardfromoutsideit—andtheanchoraskedifmyoldprofessorhadanythinghewantedtosaytothemillionsofpeoplehehadtouched.AlthoughhedidnotmeanitthiswayIcouldnthelpbutthinkofacondemned__nbeingaskedforhisfinalwords.BecompassionateMorriewhispered.Andtakeresponsibilityforeachother.Ifweonlylearnedthoselessonsthisworldwouldbesomuchbetterapla__.Hetookabreaththenaddedhis__ntra(咒语):Loveeachotheror___.Theinterviewwasended.Butforsomereasonthecamera__nleftthefilmrollingandafinals__newascaughtontape.YoudidagoodjobKoppelsaid.Morrie__iledweakly.Ig__eyouwhatIhadhewhispered.Youalwaysdo.Tedthisdiseaseisknockingatmyspirit.Butitwillnotgetmyspirit.Itllgetmybody.Itwillnotgetmyspirit.Koppelwasneartears.Youdonegood.YouthinksoMorrierolledhiseyestowardthe__iling.ImbargainingwithHimuptherenow.ImaskingHimDoIgettobeoneoftheangelsItwasthefirsttimeMorrieadmittedtalkingtoGod.TheTwelfthTuesdayWeTalkAboutForgiveness♥Forgiveyourselfbeforeyou___.Thenforgiveothers.ThiswasafewdaysaftertheNightlineinterview.TheskywasrainyanddarkandMorriewasbeneathablanket.Isatatthefarendofhischairholdinghisbarefeet.Theywerecallused(硬结)andcurledandhistoenailswereyellow.Ihada__alljaroflotionandIsqueezedsomeintomyhandsandbeganto__ssagehisankles.ItwasanotherofthethingsIhadwatchedhishelpersdoformonthsandnowinanattempttoholdontowhatIcouldofhimIhadvolunteeredtodoitmyself.ThediseasehadleftMorriewithouttheabilityeventowigglehistoesyethecouldstillfeelpainand__ssageshelpedrelieveit.AlsoofcourseMorrielikedbeingheldandtouched.AndatthispointanythingIcoulddoto__kehimhappyIwasgoingtodo.Mitchhesaidreturningtothesu__ectofforgiveness.Thereisnopointinkeepingvengean__orstubbornness.Thesethings—hesighed—thesethingsIsoregretinmylife.Pride.Vanity.WhydowedothethingswedoTheimportan__offorgivingwasmyquestion.Ihadseenthosemovieswherethepatriarch(家长)ofthefamilyisonhisdeathbedandhecallsforhisestranged(不和的)sonsothathecan__kepea__beforehegoes.IwonderedifMorriehadanyofthatinsidehimasuddenneedtosayImsorrybeforehe___dMorrienodded.DoyouseethatsculptureHetiltedhisheadtowardabust(半身像)thatsathighonashelfagainstthefarwallofhisoffi__.Ihadneverreallynoti__ditbefore.Castinbronzeitwasthefa__ofa__ninhisearlyfortieswearinganecktieatuftofhairfallingacrosshisforehead.ThatsmeMorriesaid.Afriendofminesculptedthat__ybethirtyyearsago.HisnamewasNorman.Weusedtospendsomuchtimetogether.Wewentswimming.WetookridestoNewYork.HehadmeovertohishouseinCambridgeandhesculptedthatbustofmedowninhisbasement.Ittookseveralweekstodoitbuthereallywantedtogetitright.Istu___dthefa__.Howstrangetoseeathree-dimensionalMorriesohealthysoyoungwatchingoverusaswespoke.Eveninbronzehehadawhimsical(古怪的)lookandIthoughtthisfriendhadsculptedalittlespiritaswell.WellheresthesadpartofthestoryMorriesaid.Nor__nandhiswifemovedawaytoChicago.AlittlewhilelatermywifeCharlottehadtoh__eaprettyseriousoperation.Nor__nandhiswifenevergotintouchwithus.Iknowtheyknewaboutit.CharlotteandIwereveryhurtbecausetheynevercalledtoseehowshewas.Sowedroppedtherelationship.OvertheyearsImetNormanafewtimesandhealwaystriedtoreconcilebutIdidntac__ptit.Iwasntsatisfiedwithhisexplanation.Iwasprideful.IshruggedhimoffHisvoi__choked.Mitch...afewyearsago...he___dofcan__r.Ifeelsosad.Inevergottoseehim.Inevergottoforgive.Itpainsmenowsomuch...Hewascryingagainasoftandquietcryandbecausehisheadwasbackthetearsrolledoffthesideofhisfa__beforetheyreachedhislips.SorryIsaid.Dontbehewhispered.Tearsareokay.Icontinuedrubbinglotionintohislifelesstoes.Heweptforafewminutesalonewithhismemories.ItsnotjustotherpeopleweneedtoforgiveMitchhefinallywhispered.Wealsoneedtoforgiveourselves.OurselvesYes.Forallthethingswedidntdo.Allthethingsweshouldh__edone.Youcantgetstuckontheregretsofwhatshouldh__ehappened.ThatdoesnthelpyouwhenyougettowhereIam.IalwayswishedIhaddonemorewithmywork;IwishedIhadwrittenmorebooks.Iusedtobeatmyselfupoverit.NowIseethatneverdidanygood.__kepea__.Youneedto__kepea__withyourselfandeveryonearoundyou.Ileanedoveranddabbedatthetearswithatissue.Morrieflickedhiseyesopenandclosed.Hisbreathingwasaudiblelikealightsnore.Forgiveyourself.Forgiveothers.DontwaitMitch.NoteveryonegetsthetimeImgetting.Noteveryoneisaslucky.Itossedthetissueintothewastebasketandreturnedtohisfeet.LuckyIpressedmythumbintohishardenedfleshandhedidntevenfeelit.ThetensionofoppositesMitch.RememberthatThingspullingindifferentdirectionsIremember.ImournmydwindlingtimebutIcherishthechan__itgivesmeto__kethingsright.Wesatthereforawhilequietlyastherainsplatteredagainstthewindows.Thehibiscusplantbehindhisheadwasstillholdingon__allbutfirm.MitchMorriewhispered.Uh-huhIrolledhistoesbetweenmyfingerslostinthetask.Lookatme.Iglan__dupandsawthemostintenselookinhiseyes.Idontknowwhyyoucamebacktome.ButIwanttosaythis...Hepausedandhisvoi__choked.IfIcouldh__ehadanothersonIwouldh__elikedittobeyou.Idroppedmyeyeskneading(捏)thedyingfleshofhisfeetbetweenmyfingers.ForamomentIfeltafraidasifac__ptinghiswordswouldsomehowbetraymyownfather.ButwhenIlookedupIsawMorrie__ilingthroughtearsandIknewtherewasnobetrayalinamomentlikethis.AllIwasafraidofwassayinggood-bye.Ivepickedapla__tobeburied.WhereisthatNotfarfromhere.Onahillbeneathatreeoverlookingapond.Veryserene.Agoodpla__tothink.AreyouplanningonthinkingthereImplanningonbeingdeadthere.Hechuckles.Ichuckle.WillyouvisitVisitJustcomeandtalk.__keitaTuesday.YoualwayscomeonTuesdays.WereTuesdaypeople.Right.Tuesdaypeople.CometotalkthenHehasgrownsoweaksofast.Lookatmehesays.Imlooking.Youllcometomygr__eTo____meyourproblemsMyproblemsYes.AndyoullgivemeanswersIllgiveyouwhatIcan.DontIalways1picturehisgr__eonthehilloverlookingthepondsomelittlenine-footpie__ofearthwheretheywillpla__himcoverhimwithdirtputastoneontop.__ybeinafewweeks__ybeinafewdaysIseemyselfsittingtherealonearmsacrossmykneesstaringintospa__.ItwontbethesameIsaynotbeingabletohearyoutalk.Ahtalk...Hecloseshiseyesand__iles.____youwhat.AfterImdeadyoutalk.AndIlllisten.TheThirteenthTuesdayWeTalkAboutthePerfectDay♥Morriewantedtobecre__ted(火化).HehaddiscusseditwithCharlotteandtheydecideditwasthebestway.TherabbifromBrandeisAlAxelrad—alongtimefriendwhomtheychosetoconductthefuneralservi__—hadcometovisitMorrieandMorrietoldhimofhiscre__tionplans.AndAlYes__kesuretheydontovercookme.Therabbiwasstunned.ButMorriewasabletojokeabouthisbodynow.Thecloserhegottotheendthemorehesawitasamereshellacontainerofthesoul.Itwaswitheringtouselessskinandbonesanyhowwhich__deiteasiertoletgo.WearesoafraidofthesightofdeathMorrietoldmewhenIsatdown.Iadjustedthemicrophoneonhiscollarbutitkeptfloppingover.Morriecoughed.Hewascoughingallthetimenow.Ireadabooktheotherday.Itsaidassoonassomeone___sinahospitaltheypullthesheetsupovertheirheadandtheywheelthebodytosomechute(斜道)andpushitdown.Theycantwaittogetitoutoftheirsight.Peopleactasifdeathiscontagious.Ifumbledwiththemicrophone.Morrieglan__datmyhands.Itsnotcontagiousyouknow.Deathisasnaturalaslife.Itspartofthedealwe__de.HecoughedagainandImovedbackandwaitedalwaysbra__dforsomethingserious.Morriehadbeenh__ingbadnightslately.Frighteningnights.Hecouldsleeponlyafewhoursatatimebeforeviolenthackingspellswokehim.Thenurseswouldcomeintothebedroompoundhimonthebacktrytobringupthepoison.Eveniftheygothimbreathingnor__llyagain—nor__llymeaningwiththehelpoftheoxygen__chine—thefightlefthimfatiguedthewholenextday.Theoxygentubewasuphisnosenow.Ihatedthesightofit.Tomeitsymbolizedhelplessness.Iwantedtopullitout.Lastnight...Morriesaidsoftly.YesLastnight...Ihadaterriblespell.Itwentonforhours.AndIreallywasntsureIwasgoingto__keit.Nobreath.Noendtothechoking.AtonepointIstartedtogetdizzy...andthenIfelta__rtainpea__IfeltthatIwasreadytogo.Hiseyeswidened.Mitchitwasamostincrediblefeeling.Thesensationofac__ptingwhatwashappeningbeingatpea__.IwasthinkingaboutadreamIhadlastweekwhereIwascrossingabridgeintosomethingunknown.Beingreadytomoveontowhateverisnext.Butyoudidnt.Morriewaitedamoment.Heshookhisheadslightly.NoIdidnt.ButIfeltthatIcould.DoyouunderstandThatswhatwerealllookingfor.A__rtainpea__withtheideaofdying.Ifweknowintheendthatwecanulti__telyh__ethatpea__withdyingthenwecanfinallydothereallyhardthing.Whichis__kepea__withliving.Heaskedtoseethehibiscusplantontheledgebehindhim.Icuppeditinmyhandandhelditupnearhiseyes.He__iled.Itsnaturalto___hesaidagain.Thefactthatwe__kesuchabighullabaloo(喧嚣)overitisallbecausewedontseeourselvesaspartofnature.Wethinkbecausewerehu__nweresomethingabovenature.He__iledattheplant.Werenot.Everythingthatgetsborn___s.Helookedatme.Doyouac__ptthatYes.Allrighthewhisperednowheresthepayoff.Hereishowwearedifferentfromthesewonderfulplantsandani__ls.Aslongaswecanloveeachotherandrememberthefeelingoflovewehadwecan___withouteverreallygoingaway.Alltheloveyoucreatedisstillthere.Allthememoriesarestillthere.Youliveon—intheheartsofeveryoneyouh__etouchedandnurturedwhileyouwerehere.Hisvoi__wasraspy(焦躁的)whichusuallymeantheneededtostopforawhile.Ipla__dtheplantbackontheledgeandwenttoshutoffthetaperecorder.Thisisthelastsenten__MorriegotoutbeforeIdid:Deathendsalifenotarelationship.♥TherehadbeenadevelopmentinthetreatmentofALS:anexperimentaldrugthatwasjustgainingpassage.Itwasnotacurebutadelayaslowingofthedecayforperhapsafewmonths.Morriehadheardaboutitbuthewastoofargone.Besidesthemedicinewouldntbe__ailableforseveralmonths.NotformeMorriesaiddi__issingit.InallthetimehewassickMorrieneverheldouthopehewouldbecured.Hewasrealistictoafault.OnetimeIaskedifsomeoneweretow__ea__gicwand(魔杖)and__kehimallbetterwouldhebecomeintimethe__nhehadbeenbeforeHeshookhishead.NowayIcouldgoback.Iamadifferentselfnow.Imdifferentinmyattitudes.ImadifferentappreciatingmybodywhichIdidntdofullybefore.Imdifferentintermsoftryingtograpplewiththebigquestionstheulti__tequestionstheonesthatwontgoaway.Thatsthethingyousee.On__yougetyourfingersontheimportantquestionsyoucantturnawayfromthem.AndwhicharetheimportantquestionsAsIseeittheyh__etodowithloveresponsibilityspiritualityawareness.AndifIwerehealthytodaythosewouldstillbemyissues.Theyshouldh__ebeenallalong.Itriedtoi__gineMorriehealthy.Itriedtoi__ginehimpullingthecoversfromhisbodysteppingfromthatchairthetwoofusgoingforawalkaroundthenei___orhoodthewayweusedtowalkaroundcampus.Isuddenlyrealizedithadbeensixteenyearssin__Idseenhimstandingup.SixteenyearsWhatifyouhadonedayperfectlyhealthyIaskedWhatwouldyoudoTwenty-fourhoursTwenty-fourhours.Letssee...Idgetupinthemorningdomyexercisesh__ealovelybreakfastofsweetrollsandteagoforaswimthenh__emyfriendscomeoverforani__lunch.Idh__ethemcomeoneortwoatatimesowecouldtalkabouttheirfamiliestheirissuestalkabouthowmuchwemeantoeachother.ThenIdliketogoforawalkinagardenwithsometreeswatchtheircolorswatchthebirdstakeinthenaturethatIh__entseeninsolongnow.Intheeveningwedallgotogethertoarestaurantwithsomegreatpasta__ybesomeduck—Iloveduck—andthenweddan__therestofthenight.Iddan__withallthewonderfuldan__partnersoutthereuntilIwasexhausted.AndthenIdgohomeandh__eadeepwonderfulsleep.ThatsitThatsit.Itwasso______.So__erage.Iwasactuallyalittledisappointed.IfiguredhedflytoItalyorh__elunchwiththePresidentorrompontheseashoreortryeveryexoticthinghecouldthinkof.Afterallthesemonthslyingthereunabletomovealegorafoot—howcouldhefindperfectioninsuchan__eragedayThenIrealizedthiswasthewholepoint.♥BeforeIleftthatdayMorrieaskedifhecouldbringupatopic.Yourbrotherhesaid.Ifeltashiver.IdonotknowhowMorrieknewthiswasonmymind.IhadbeentryingtocallmybrotherinSpainforweeksandhadlearned—fromafriendofhis—thathewasflyingbackandforthtoahospitalinAmsterdam.MitchIknowithurtswhenyoucantbewithsomeoneyoulove.Butyouneedtobeatpea__withhisdesires.__ybehedoesntwantyouinterruptingyourlife.__ybehecantdealwiththatburden.I____everyoneIknowtocarryonwiththelifetheyknow—dontruinitbecauseIamdying.ButhesmybrotherIsaid.IknowMorriesaid.Thatswhyithurts.IsawPeterinmymindwhenhewaseightyearsoldhiscurlyblondhairpuffedintoasweatyballatophishead.Isawuswrestlingintheyardnexttoourhousethegrassstainssoakingthroughthekneesofourjeans.IsawhimsingingsongsinfrontofthemirrorholdingabrushasamicrophoneandIsawussqueezingintotheatticwherewehidtogetheraschildrentestingourparentswilltofindusfordinner.AndthenIsawhimasthe_____whohaddriftedawaythinandfrailhisfa__bonyfromthechemotherapytreatments.MorrieIsaid.WhydoesnthewanttoseemeMyoldprofessorsighed.Thereisnoformulatorelationships.Theyh__etobenegotiatedinlovingwayswithroomforbothpartieswhattheywantandwhattheyneedwhattheycandoandwhattheirlifeislike.Inbusinesspeoplenegotiatetowin.Theynegotiatetogetwhattheywant.__ybeyouretoousedtothat.Loveisdifferent.Loveiswhenyouareascon__rnedaboutsomeoneelsessituationasyouareaboutyourown.Youvehadthesespecialtimeswithyourbrotherandyounolongerh__ewhatyouhadwithhim.Youwantthemback.Youneverwantthemtostop.Butthatspartofbeinghu__n.Stoprenewstoprenew.Ilookedathim.Isawallthedeathintheworld.Ifelthelpless.YoullfindawaybacktoyourbrotherMorriesaid.HowdoyouknowMorrie__iled.YoufoundmedidntyouIheardani__littlestorytheotherdayMorriesays.HecloseshiseyesforamomentandIwait.Okay.Thestoryisaboutalittlew__ebobbingalongintheo__anh__ingagrandoldtime.Hesenjoyingthewindandthefreshair—untilhenoti__stheotherw__esinfrontofhimcrashingagainsttheshore.MyGodthisisterriblethew__esays.Lookwhatsgoingtohappentome!Thenalongcomesanotherw__e.Itseesthefirstw__elookinggrimanditsaystohimWhydoyoulooksosadThefirstw__esaysYoudontunderstand!Wereallgoingtocrash!Allofusw__esaregoingtobenothing!IsntitterribleThesecondw__esaysNoyoudontunderstand.Yourenotaw__eyourepartoftheo__an.I__ile.Morriecloseshiseyesagain.Partoftheo__anhesayspartoftheo__an.Iwatchhimbreatheinandoutinandout.TheFourteenthTuesdayWeSayGood-bye♥ItwascoldanddampasIwalkedupthestepstoMorrieshouse.ItookinlittledetailsthingsIhadntnoti__dforallthetimesIdvisited.Thecutofthehill.Thestonefaçade(正面)ofthehouse.Thepachysandraplants(长青地被植物)thelowshrubs(灌木).Iwalkedslowlytakingmytimesteppingondeadwetle__esthatflattenedbeneathmyfeet.Charlottehadcalledthedaybeforeto____meMorriewasnotdoingwell.Thiswasherwayofsayingthefinaldayshadarrived.Morriehadcan__ledallofhisappointmentsandhadbeensleepingmuchofthetimewhichwasunlikehim.Henevercaredforsleepingnotwhentherewerepeoplehecouldtalkwith.HewantsyoutocomevisitCharlottesaidbutMitch...YesHesveryweak.Theporchsteps.Theglassinthefrontdoor.Iabsorbedthesethingsinaslowobservant__nnerasifseeingthemforthefirsttime.IfeltthetaperecorderinthebagonmyshoulderandIunzippeditto__kesureIhadtapes.Idontknowwhy.Ialwayshadtapes.Connieansweredthebell.Nor__llybuoyantshehadadrawnlookonherfa__.Herhellowassoftlyspoken.HowshedoingIsaid.Notsogood.Shebitherlowerlip.Idontliketothinkaboutit.Hessuchasweet__nyouknowIknew.Thisissuchashame.Charlottecamedownthehallandhuggedme.ShesaidthatMorriewasstillsleepingeventhoughitwas10A.M.Wewentintothekitchen.Ihelpedherstraightenupnoticingallthebottlesofpillslineduponthetablea__allarmyofbrownplasticsol___rswithwhitecaps.Myoldprofessorwastaking________(__)nowtoeasehisbreathing.IputthefoodIhadbroughtwithmeintotherefrigerator—soupvegetablecakestunasalad.IapologizedtoCharlotteforbringingit.Morriehadntchewedfoodlikethisinmonthswebothknewthatbutithadbecomea__alltradition.Sometimeswhenyourelosingsomeoneyouhangontowhatevertraditionyoucan.IwaitedinthelivingroomwhereMorrieandTedKoppelhaddonetheirfirstinterview.Ireadthenewspaperthatwaslyingonthetable.TwoMinnesotachildrenhadshoteachotherplayingwiththeirfathersguns.AbabyhadbeenfoundburiedinagarbagecaninanalleyinLosAngeles.Iputdownthepaperandstaredintotheemptyfirepla__.Itappedmyshoelightlyonthehardwoodfloor.EventuallyIheardadooropenandclosethenCharlottesfootstepscomingtowardme.Allrightshesaidsoftly.Hesreadyforyou.IroseandIturnedtowardourfamiliarspotthensawastrangewo__nsittingattheendofthehallinafoldingchairhereyesonabookherlegscrossed.Thiswasahospi__(临终关怀)nursepartofthetwenty-four-hourwatch.Morriesstudywasempty.Iwasconfused.ThenIturnedbackhesitantlytothebedroomandtherehewaslyinginbedunderthesheet.Ihadseenhimlikethisonlyoneothertime—whenhewasgetting__ssaged—andtheechoofhisaphori__Whenyoureinbedyouredeadbegananewinsidemyhead.Ienteredpushinga__ileontomyfa__.Heworeayellowpaja__-liketopandablanketcoveredhimfromthechestdown.ThelumpofhisformwassowitheredthatIalmostthoughttherewassomethingmissing.Hewasas__allasachild.Morriesmouthwasopenandhisskinwaspaleandtightagainsthischeekbones.WhenhiseyesrolledtowardmehetriedtospeakbutIheardonlyasoftgrunt.ThereheisIsaidmusteringalltheexcitementIcouldfindinmyemptytill.Heexhaledshuthiseyesthen__iledtheveryeffortseemingtotirehim.My...dearfriend...hefinallysaid.IamyourfriendIsaid.Imnot...sogoodtoday...Tomorrowwillbebetter.Hepushedoutanotherbreathandfor__danod.HewasstrugglingwithsomethingbeneaththesheetsandIrealizedhewastryingtomovehishandstowardtheopening.Hold...hesaid.Ipulledthecoversdownandgraspedhisfingers.Theydisappearedinsidemyown.Ileanedincloseafewinchesfromhisfa__.ItwasthefirsttimeIhadseenhimunsh__enthe__allwhitewhiskerslookingsooutofpla__asifsomeonehadshakensaltneatlyacrosshischeeksandchin.HowcouldtherebenewlifeinhisbeardwhenitwasdrainingeverywhereelseMorrieIsaidsoftly.Coachhecorrected.CoachIsaid.Ifeltashiver.Hespokeinshortburstsinhalingairexhalingwords.Hisvoi__wasthinandraspy.He__elledofointment(药膏).You...areagoodsoul.Agoodsoul.Touchedme...hewhispered.Hemovedmyhandstohisheart.Here.ItfeltasifIhadapitinmythroat.CoachAhhIdontknowhowtosaygood-bye.Hepattedmyhandweaklykeepingitonhischest.This...ishowwesay...good-bye...HebreathedsoftlyinandoutIcouldfeelhisribcageriseandfall.Thenhelookedrightatme.Love...youherasped.IloveyoutooCoach.Knowyoudo...know…somethingelse...WhatelsedoyouknowYou...alwaysh__e...Hiseyesgot__allandthenhecriedhisfa__contortinglikeababywhohasntfiguredhowhistearducts(泪管)work.Iheldhimcloseforseveralminutes.Irubbedhislooseskin.Istrokedhishair.Iputapalmagainsthisfa__andfeltthebonesclosetothefleshandthetinywettearsasifsqueezedfromadropper.Whenhisbreathingapproachednor__lagainIclearedmythroatandsaidIknewhewastiredsoIwouldbebacknextTuesdayandIexpectedhimtobealittlemorealertthankyou.Hesnorted(喷鼻息)lightlyascloseashecouldcometoalaugh.Itwasasadsoundjustthesame.Ipickeduptheunopenedbagwiththetaperecorder.WhyhadIevenbroughtthisIknewwewouldneveruseit.Ileanedinandkissedhimcloselymyfa__againsthiswhiskersonwhiskersskinonskinholdingittherelongerthannor__lincaseitg__ehimevenasplitsecondofpleasure.OkaythenIsaidpullingaway.Iblinkedbackthetearsandhe__ackedhislipstogetherandraisedhiseyebrowsatthesightofmyfa__.Iliketothinkitwasafleetingmomentofsatisfactionformydearoldprofessor:hehadfinally__demecry.Okaythenhewhispered.Graduation♥Morrie___donaSaturdaymorning.Hisimmediatefamilywaswithhiminthehouse.Rob__deitinfromTokyo—hegottokisshisfathergood-bye—andJonwasthereandofcourseCharlottewasthereandCharlottescousin__rshawhohadwrittenthepoemthatsomovedMorrieathisunofficialmemorialservi__thepoemthatlikenedhimtoatendersequoia.Theysleptinshiftsaroundhisbed.Morriehadfallenintoaco__(昏迷)twodaysafterourfinalvisitandthedoctorsaidhecouldgoatanymoment.Insteadhehungonthroughatoughafternoonthroughadarknight.FinallyonthefourthofNovemberwhenthosehelovedhadlefttheroomjustforamoment—tograbcoffeeinthekitchenthefirsttimenoneofthemwerewithhimsin__theco__began—Morriestoppedbreathing.Andhewasgone.Ibelievehe___dthiswayonpurpose.Ibelievehewantednochillingmomentsnoonetowitnesshislastbreathandbehauntedbyitthewayhehadbeenhauntedbyhismothersdeath-noti__telegramorbyhisfatherscorpseinthecitymorgue.Ibelieveheknewthathewasinhisownbedthathisbooksandhisnotesandhis__allhibiscusplantwerenearby.Hewantedtogoserenelyandthatishowhewent.Thefuneralwasheldonadampwindymorning.Thegrasswaswetandtheskywasthecolorofmilk.Westoodbytheholeintheearthcloseenoughtohearthepondwaterlappingagainsttheedgeandtoseeducksshakingofftheirfeathers.AlthoughhundredsofpeoplehadwantedtoattendCharlottekeptthisgathering__alljustafewclosefriendsandrelatives.RabbiAxelrodreadafewpoems.MorriesbrotherD__id—whostillwalkedwithalimpfromhischildhoodpolio—liftedtheshovelandtosseddirtinthegr__easpertradition.AtonepointwhenMorriesasheswerepla__dintothegroundIglan__daroundthe__metery.Morriewasright.Itwasindeedalovelyspottreesandgrassandaslopinghill.YoutalkIlllistenhehadsaid.Itrieddoingthatinmyheadandtomyhappinessfoundthatthei__ginedconversationfeltalmostnatural.Ilookeddownatmyhandssawmywatchandrealizedwhy.ItwasTuesday.Myfathermovedthroughtheysofwesingingeachnewleafoutofeachtreeandeverychildwassurethatspringdan__dwhensheheardmyfathersing--APOEMBYE.E.CUMMINGSREADBYMORRIESSONROBATTHEMEMORIALSERVI__Conclusion♥IlookbacksometimesatthepersonIwasbeforeIrediscoveredmyoldprofessor.Iwanttotalktothatperson.Iwantto____himwhattolookoutforwhatmistakesto__oid.Iwantto____himtobemoreopentoignorethelureofadvertisedvaluestopayattentionwhenyourlovedonesarespeakingasifitwerethelasttimeyoumighthearthem.MostlyIwantto____thatpersontogetonanairplaneandvisitagentleold__ninWestNewtonMassachusettssoonerratherthanlaterbeforethatold__ngetssickandloseshisabilitytodan__.IknowIcannotdothis.Noneofuscanundowhatwevedoneorrelivealifealreadyrecorded.ButifProfessorMorrisSchwartztaughtmeanythingatallitwasthis:thereisnosuchthingastoolateinlife.Hewaschanginguntilthedayhesaidgood-bye.NotlongafterMorriesdeathIreachedmybrotherinSpain.Wehadalongtalk.ItoldhimIrespectedhisdistan__andthatallIwantedwastobeintouch—inthepresentnotjustthepast—toholdhiminmylifeasmuchashecouldletme.YouremyonlybrotherIsaid.Idontwanttoloseyou.Iloveyou.Ihadneversaidsuchathingtohimbefore.AfewdayslaterIre__ivedamessageonmyfax__chine.Itwastypedinthesprawlingpoorlypunctuatedall-cap-lettersfashionthatalwayscharacterizedmybrotherswords.HIIVEJOINEDTHENINETIES!itbegan.Hewroteafewlittlestorieswhathedbeendoingthatweekacoupleofjokes.Attheendhesignedoffthisway:IH__EHEARTBURNANDDIAHREAATTHEMOMENT—LIFESA_____.CHATLATER[signed]SORETUSH.Ilaugheduntilthereweretearsinmyeyes.♥ThisbookwaslargelyMorriesidea.Hecalleditourfinalthesis.LikethebestofworkprojectsitbroughtusclosertogetherandMorriewasdelightedwhenseveralpublishersexpressedinteresteventhoughhe___dbeforemeetinganyofthem.Theadvan__moneyhelpedpayMorriesenormousmedicalbillsandforthatwewerebothgrateful.ThetitlebythewaywecameupwithonedayinMorriesoffi__.Helikednamingthings.Hehadseveralideas.ButwhenIsaidHowaboutTuesdayswithMorriehe__iledinanalmostblushingwayandIknewthatwasit.AfterMorrie___dIwentthroughboxesofoldcollege__terial.AndIdiscoveredafinalpaperIhadwrittenforoneofhisclasses.Itwastwentyyearsoldnow.OnthefrontpageweremypenciledcommentsscribbledtoMorrieandbeneaththemwerehiscommentsscribbledback.MinebeganDearCoach...HisbeganDearPlayer...ForsomereasoneachtimeIreadthatImisshimmore.H__eyoueverreallyhadateacherOnewhosawyouasarawbutpreciousthingajewelthatwithwisdomcouldbepolishedtoaproudshineIfyouareluckyenoughtofindyourwaytosuchteachersyouwillalwaysfindyourwayback.Sometimesitisonlyinyourhead.Sometimesitisrightalongsidetheirbeds.Thelastclassofmyoldprofessorslifetookpla__on__aweekinhishomebyawindowinhisstudywherehecouldwatcha__allhibiscusplantsheditspinkflowers.TheclassmetonTuesdays.Nobookswererequired.Thesu__ectwasthemeaningoflife.Itwastaughtfromexperien__.Theteachinggoeson.PAGE5。