文本内容:
高考读后续写素材积累场景描写
1.When Jalilentered theclearing,he wouldthrow hisjacket onthe tandoor and open hisarms.Mariam wouldwalk,then finallyrun,to him,and hewouldcatch her under the arms(尖口)and tossher uphigh.Mariam wouldsqueal U.这段见面场景描述渲染了与之间的爱父亲Jalil Mariamthrow hisjacket onthe;tandoorandopenhisarms catchherunderthearmsand tossher uphigho女儿;(这样的场景描述可以借鉴引用到其walk,then finallyrun,to himsqueal他见面的场合)现在这么亲密的关系描述,其实也为下文,为何伤心绝望形成巨大反差做Mariam了铺垫这段话的场景移动是跟着根着人物的移动而移动的通过人物的行走,或是视觉来移动场景,这是最常见的移动方式一般场景描写中,最简单的有三个要素远景、近景、人物但因为真实的世界比动画要丰富,因而还能听到声音,闻到味道,有时候还有冷热软硬等触觉因此可以进行更多元素的描绘所以会变成远景、近景、人物、声音、气味、触觉六个元素在这个场景中就出现了声音squeal(尖叫)2Her gazeskimmed overall of these thingsbefore theyfound aface,across the garden,inan upstairswindow.The facewas therefor only an instant,a flash,but long enough.Longenough forMariam tosee theeyes widen,the mouthopen.Then itsnapped awayfrom(狂暴地)view.A handappeared andfrantically pulledat acord.The curtainsfell shut.玛丽亚姆怀着急切的心情前去看望父亲,到了父亲家后,发现父亲并不想见她,躲避她在这段文字中,我们看到玛丽亚姆扫视四周发现花园对面,一扇楼上窗户内的脸她看到他的眼睛睁得大大的,他的嘴巴张开着说see theeyes widen,the mouthopen,明父亲见到她很惊讶然后消失了,窗户也被关上这一闪而过的场景,玛丽亚姆终身难忘,也彻底粉碎了她之前对父亲的幻想而且在第二句话中用了对比for短暂,但足够长第二句话最后一个词汇与onlyaninstant longenougho longenough第三句话的开头用了用了重复的写作手法来强调这张脸短暂的停留longenough,却给玛丽亚姆带来极大的震撼这里的场景描写先是自下而上,从大到小,先整体再局部局部描写时的细节描写后来作者围绕“脸”展开描述faceo3A gustof windblew andparted thedrooping branchesof theweeping willowlike acurtain,and Mariamcaught aglimpse ofwhat wasbeneath thetree:the straight-backedchair,overturned.The ropedropping froma highbranch.Nana danglingat theend ofit.看到母亲的最后一幕场景的描写风柳条椅子绳子母亲作者先写自然Mariam景观,然后写映入眼帘的母亲,寥寥数语就将场面描述地很形象,印象深刻4The roomhad abed with a green-flowered blanketknit ina tightlywoven,honeycombdesign.The curtains,pulled backto revealthegardenbelow,matched theblanket.Besidethe bedwas athree-drawer chestwithaflower vaseon it.There wereshelves alongthewalls,with framedpictures ofpeople Mariamdid notrecognize.On oneoftheshelves,Mariam sawa collectionof identicalwooden dolls,arranged ina linein orderof decreasingsize.对房间里面摆设的描述我们来看看作者描述的顺序首先是大件的物品,床bed,床上的毯子,然后窗帘(窗帘的颜色与毯子相配),接下来描写床边的衣curtains,柜以及架子,架子上有玩偶等,并运用短语,过去分词,倒chest,shelves dollswith装等表达主语的状态这里的场景描写遵循从大到小,从整体到细节的顺序先挑大物件写,再集中到小物件上5Kabul wasfar more crowded thanthe littlethat Mariamhad seenof Herat.There werefewer trees andfewer garispulled byhorses,but more cars,taller buildings,more trafficlights and more paved roads.对于两个地方特点的对比赫拉特(阿富汗西北部城市)与喀布尔(阿Herat Kabul富汗的首都),后者morecrowded,fewertrees;fewer garis;morecars;taller buildings;more trafficlightsandmorepavedroads.6Mariam quicklysurveyed thenarrow,unpaved roadalong whichRasheeds housewassituated.The houseson thisroad werecrowded togetherand sharedcommon walls,withsmall,walled yardsin frontbuffering themfrom thestreet.Most ofthe homeshad flatroofsand weremade ofburned brick,some ofmud thesame dustycolor asthe mountains(水沟)that ringedthe city.Gutters separatedthe sidewalkfrom theroad onboth sidesandflowed with muddy water.Mariam sawsmall moundsof flyblowngarbage littering thestreet hereand there.Rasheeds househad twostories.Mariam couldsee thatit hadoncebeen blue.对居住环境的第一印象路边的房子很拥挤,房子与房子之间Mariam Rasheedshared院子;屋顶common walls,,with small,walled yardsflat roofsand weremade ofburned路上(水沟)brick,some ofmud thesame dustycolor asthe mountainsoGutters flowed;垃圾withmuddywater garbagelitteringthestreet hereand thereo远景近景相结合,有序展开描述描写的时候把一个动画定格,看到有前景(近景)、后景(远景)很多场景都是按照人物的视觉、听觉或者感觉到的顺序来写的简单的就是她看到了什么,听到了什么先看到就先描写看到的,先听到就描写听到的因为人的感官敏锐度不同,所以一般先写看到的,然后是闻到的和听到的先描写主要的,然后再是细节除了从大到小,还有远到近除了感官顺序,还有时间顺序种种排列方式,不一一列举了(粘的)(场景描写)7The floorwas stickyand theair smoky.地面(粘的);空气后半句用了省略寥寥数语,简洁清晰,干sticky smoky净利落在复杂的场景描写中,往往夹杂着,远景、近景、人物、声音、味道但有时只精炼的描绘几个要素反而能达到不错的效果方寸的拿捏和详略的掌握,需要在写作的过程之中不断摸索,才能找到自己最喜欢的描绘方法。